I am very depressed now and I feel it's my dad's fault..Am i bad to think that?

April 9, 2007 8:58pm CST
I am feeling very depressed these past several days because I had a huge fight with my dad and we havent spoken to each other since. It started when i went out the other night with some of my friends after work. He was very mad at me when I got home and said things that I got really offended because he said that I was fooling around with some guys that I'm not supposed to. So, i shouted back at him and defended myself--i know i shouldnt have done that because after all he's my dad but i just wasnt able to control myself that time because i felt that he was so unfair to me.This wasnt the first time that he got mad at me for the same reason and i feel that i should have the right to choose my own friends and he could have at least trust me and give me the liberty of going out with people whom i choose to be with.I mean, im already 24 years old!! and since i was a child, i really dont have too many friends and i rarely go out.It's just now that i have some friends that i really want to hang out with occasionally and he doesnt even allow me!
2 responses
@mcpg27 (22)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
hi...i'm sorry to hear about the drift between you and your dad. sometimes, they love us too much that we feel choked up. They are so protective that there are some things that we consider ok (and i suppose, it is) yet they are against it. the fact that you are hurting right now because of what happened between you and your dad, means that you love him so much. I think you need to talk to him. Primarily, communication is the key to a relationship (father-child). Tell him how you feel about being prohibited and also, listen to his side (as to why he does what he do.) And it would be best if you will arrive at a certain compromise. Your dad loves you so much, too. Hope you will mend your relationship soon. God bless. =)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Apr 07
thanks a lot mcpg, you're sweet. maybe that's one thing i need to work out between me and my dad. Communicating with him is not a problem because he usually listens but when it comes to personal life or things, i am uncomfortable in talking to him about it. Once i have tried asking him about it, as to why he doesnt want me to hang out with this particular group of friends and i tried telling him my side, but he wont budge on this issue.
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I am sorry for your situation. I really do feel for you. I can not imagine living under those circumstances. Here's the thing, while you are living under their roof - you do have to obey by their rules of: maybe what time they want everyone in at night, maybe no strange company over, etc. Basically, rule that alot of people set up that is considered respect to the hosuehold and those who run it. Problem: you are 24 years old and they are telling you who you can and can not be friends with???????? There is a problem there which may be much deeper then what I would discuss on a board like this. You may have no choice to either deal with it and have no friends as it seems your father would want (he seems to like control) or you can move out which as an adult - you have every right to do. Then, you have to right to run your life any way you decide. You are 24 years old....Time to start acting like the adult you should be becoming. I'm not trying to insult you. But the issues you are explaining you are delaing with are something I would expect to hear from a 16 year old who still needs the guidence of their parents and basically have no choice. You are not 16 - you are 24 years old. You don't need that sort of guidence any more. You have a choice. I would move out if I were you....that is - if making your own decisions in life is important to you.
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
Your comments hit me real hard jenny but it's all true--sad to say. I just really cant understand, I mean, they have allowed me to make more important decisions in my life like my work but a simple thing of going out with a group of people is not acceptable to him?? However hard i try to understand or view it from his point, i just really dont get it!!!