Absentee dads: Do you ever think of the child(ren) you walked away from?
By hsmom2boys
@hsmom2boys (134)
United States
April 10, 2007 6:20am CST
I often wonder if my oldest son's bio-dad ever thinks about the son he gave up. He knows he's out there and knows pretty much where we are, but I haven't heard from him in almost 5 years. What would you do if the child(ren) tried to find you? What would you say?
3 responses
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
10 Apr 07
i have a daughter that is 12 now and she hasnt seen her dad since she was very little . we split up when she was about 14 months old. i have never asked him for child support and he hasnt given any either. terry ray was not ready to grow up when we were together we were still kids ourselves. that is not an excuse but it is the way things are. my daughter has asked about him alot lately and she wants to know him and doesnt understand why he doesnt just look for her. we lived 1 street over from his moms house for 2 years before and still nothing really. my husband and i have been together since she was 14 months so he is her dad in her heart and his but she still wonders.
now i know 1 person that gave his daughter up and not because he didnt want her or didnt want to see her he wasnt in the best spot in his life and he couldnt raise her alone. the mother gave her up and he just couldnt do it. so he let another family have her. he knows where she is and his family sees her on the street etc. he makes sure she is ok but doesnt want to upset the life she has. he hopes when she turns 18 she will ask about him and they will tell her. he wants to see her badly and misses her. its just he gave up his rights and doesnt know what to do now.
there are so many that dont care and dont look back. i know one guy who doesnt want to pay child support so he doesnt work so they cant get it. he wants to give up his rights so he doesnt have to pay. i think he is horriable little man personally. the child is better off without him.
i wish though my parents would of gave me up and statyed away but they didnt they gave me up and came back and took me over and over. i wish they would of just left me alone. the yo yo game sucks
@hsmom2boys (134)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I understand when it's best for the child, and the parent (in this case dad) gives up the child so it can have a better life. But when it appears that they just don't care, I wonder what goes through their head. I'm glad my son's bio-dad it out of the picture, he wasn't really in a good way back then, and I don't ask of anything from him (I didn't even put his name on my son's birth certificate), but I wonder if he thinks of my son and what he'd do if my son ever went looking for him.
1 person likes this
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
11 Apr 07
i bet he thinks about it. alot of dads that werent in good places to have kids and did when they leave like that. later they feel bad and want to know whats going on but dont have the courage. it takes alot to walk up to your kid after a long time and say i screwed up i am sorry. i hope one day they meet and things work out for everyone.
@anya11111 (169)
• India
10 Apr 07
same here! i divorced my wife 13 years ago and havent heard from her or the son since then. i do not know where they are! i even have not tried to find out.
@uiwwitch (892)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I just recently got together with my dad again whom my mom has lost contact with for almost 25 years. I actually searched him out and I'm so glad that I did. My Dad said that he thought about me all the time and several times he tried to make away to find me and my Mom. I think that in the same way that you are thinking about him, he's also thinking about his child. I don't know your situation but he might still be dealing with issues right now. It all happens when the time is right.
