My Brother Is Only Talking To Me Because I'm A DJ....
By SpitFire179
@SpitFire179 (2536)
Canada
April 10, 2007 11:39pm CST
Okay, first i guess i better inform you of the change in my life now.
I'm a DJ, for a really great totally awesome internet radio station, as of a short while back, I'm a newbie, there's glitches to work out sometimes, but i think i'm doing pretty damn good for having an anxiety issue when it comes to people, I just got rid of a lot of my nerves, so i'm doing better than ever thought possible...
Anyway, onto the real issue...
I haven't talked to my big brother (half big brother) in a long time, the last time, we had an argument, mostly because i wasn't listening to my big sister (Half) about how to run MY life, even though she's taking all the wrong roads in life, she expects me to see her ideas as right, when I KNOW that's RIGHT for ME! I better, I'm living this life!
anyway he decided to let her bully him into thinking her way, and i told him until he came to his senses, whatever, I'm not putting up with having someone control my life.
It's been quite some time. He never responds when i send him an email, ever, totally ignored me, and like, we used to be so close, because he was the 'coolest big brother' figure...
So he gets a hold of me, I'm going yay cool, i get to talk to him again, and it seems, all he wants to talk about is what I'm making, or going to be making, and about the radio thing...
What do i do here guys?
He's my brother, and though i love him, It really makes a person feel important when they know that the only reason their brother is talking to them is because he thinks there's a chance that he could get something out of it, or be you know the 'close big brother to the star'
I just don't know, he wants to hear me, but works during my show, so whatever, he won't tell me anything going on in his life, but expects it from my side...
Nice Sick family i got...
Thanks for reading the rant, i'm sorry, i just don't know what to do with this, i feel like a pawn in his little game, this is why i never told my father, but now, it looks like he's an exact duplicate.
What do you think of this, what would you do and how would you feel?
3 people like this
4 responses
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I know how it is with family trying ot contro your life.I get it all the time. I don't know why they feel that just because they think one way,that you should agree with it. I can't really tell you what to do ,just a suggestion. i would maybe have a talk with your brother about the way he is acting -that you feel he is only talking to you becasue of your new job and if gets mad or doesn't change ,the best thing i can say is stay away .You don't need that aggrevation.
p.s. congrats on your new job
p.s.s. I don't know if I would have been as gratious with that person who was commenting on your looks and not adding anything to the discussion lol.
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
oh i've talked to them about their actions before, and the thing is, they don't care about me, they just don't, and that's why their acting like this. It's too bad, their missing out on a lot!
yeah i thought it was so sweet and cute, i totally forgot to remember that they should have posted something with substance haha... goodness haha, Thanks hun!
1 person likes this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
Yeah got me reading it a few times, i even read it 5 or 6 times this morning, i got it last night, i was like what the?! haha
@66jerseygirl (3877)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I think it would have thrown me too. i read it twice to be sure i was reading right,lol!
@vwlssknght (653)
• United States
11 Apr 07
My goodness, you are absolutely beautiful. This may sound strange, but when I look at your picture, it's almost as though I've seen you before . . . you know, you look a bit like Jewel.
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
well thanks, that's really nice of you, though that's not what the discussion is about, i guess i can kinda accept that....
@samtaylorskykierajen (7976)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
I would feel like you and would be confused as you love your brother but feel you are being used . I don't know what I can offer you but to tell you to do what you feel is right . You are right that you know what is best for you as this is your life to live , not your's sisters . She is living her life and needs to realize that you are not the same as we are all different and you need to do your own thing in life wheater she likes it or not .
As for your brother I would probably try to talk to him and try to find a way to explain how he makes me feel and that you don't like the feeling that he is taking advantage of you as you love him for who he is and not for what he is doing and what you can do for you .
Best of luck !!
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Wow. For some reason, this reminds me a bit of a book a read a while back, called "All Families are Psychotic," written by gen-x humorist Douglas Coupland. Not saying your family is psychotic, but that title just kept popping into my head.
Anyways, cool on you for the DJ gig, and for getting past your social anxiety worries... that's tough to do, I know, having been in a similar place. No disrespect intended-- your half sister sounds like "a piece of work," or at least a very manipulative person who sounds excessively "invested" in yours and other people's "dos" and "do nots." I am assuming she and your half-brother have a direct brother/sister link... so I'm guessing she knows how to press your brother's buttons.
The fact that you and your brother had a close realtionship at one time suggests that whatever is going on is not directly "about you" but "about HIM." And whereas I am sure you'd like to have a close relationship with him again, you are left having to ask yourself how hard you are willing to WORK to make that happen... and you also have the knowledge that it probably WON'T happen as long as he's "under the influence" of your half sister's ideas. Unfortunately, your dad is also part of his "model" for how to behave in life.
You've broken away, and are trying to get on with your life in a situation of your own making, with a healthier dynamic than you grew up with. Painful as it may be to be distant from someone you care about, please be very careful about not getting dragged back towards the toxic dynamic you took steps to get away from.
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
Oh hunni, that's just it, my family IS psychotic haha, that's one reason, i don't have much to do with them, they are all manipulative, and controlling, and if they don't get what they want, they go insane.
My brother and sister, yes they are a direct link, from my father, which is one reason they are like they are. And my sister knows very well yes how to push his buttons.
My brother in the past few years, maybe a little more, has made it about him, everything was about him, now suddenly, he won't talk about him or how it's going, only my new job, and it makes me sick. I wish that we could be best 'buds' like we were at one time, i idolized him, but now I'm seeing what he's like more and more and considering the fact that it wasn't the relationship i thought it was... And now that I'm standing up for myself, I'm seeing that..
as my father was a terrible model to this life, I'm glad that i was never really under his influence as you say, because if i had been, i would be just like them, and those are the people that i am strongly against. I even went as far as having others tell me who i am and what I'm like, the good and the bad, to insure that i don't share any of these retched traits.
Don't worry hun, i have never been held in with them, i've always been against them, since i first started talking, there was not a day i agreed with who they were or what they were doing, and to this day, it hasn't changed. And i know, it never will.
I think if my brother cares enough, he'll still care once i tell him to grow up and leave me be until he cares about what's going on with me and who i am, not where i work and what i make.
Thanks for your response.
