April 11, 2007 12:06pm CST
im the eldest of four siblings so i tend to be a little bossy around them. yesterday, i just found out that my sister (she's only 13 and she's 6 years younger than i) has been having hard feelings toward me. i didn't realize this until my mom asked her why she has been so quiet all day. she was crying when she told me that she feels like im always bossing her around. i cried too, when i heard this because it wasn't my intention to hurt my sister. i just can't help it that sometimes i get a little too demanding or too bossy. i just want her to be responsible. is this wrong? what can i do to let her see my point without being bossy?
• United States
13 Apr 07
It's not wrong to care about your sister and to want her to do good. What you need to be careful about is criticizing her too much. Just try to stay positive. You might thing that by saying that she needs to do something diferent that you are helping her, but you might just be making her feel bad about herself. Just remember to talk about the things that she does right. Tell her you are proud of her when she does something good. Tell her you love her. Be there for her if she asks for your advice but don't be to quick to give advice when she isn't asking. Of course if you see her doing something dangerous then you should act accordingly, but if it's just stuff you don't agree with, you need to let her be who she is and love her no matter what. Good luck!
• United States
11 Apr 07
now that you realize there is a problem work on fixing it,,,instead of ordering her to do something ask her if she would please help..a kind word and a friendly attitude can go a long ways towards mending hurt feelings...try to remember what being 13 is like...puberty and hormones,peer pressure,classes at school becoming harder...remember your her sister not her parent...she will become responsible because she has good role models
16 Apr 07
well it's not your fault. it's natural to you to have that feeling that your responsible for them because your the eldest. maybe you just get carried away at times that your love and concern for them become exaggerated and you become bossy. it's a good thing that it's finally out in the open. that way you are more aware and you can change. i think it's also better that you explain to her why you are like that. it's just out of your concern to them and because you're the eldest you're just looking after them ;)