Big John is Comin' To Town!

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It's a sleepy midsummer day in the small town of Goose Bend, Wyoming in 1885. Suddenly, Old Jeb bursts through the saloon's double doors, and shouts, "Big John is comin' to town! Big John is comin' to town!"The effect is instantaneous. Dancing girls bolt out of the saloon with shrieks of terror. Cowboys leave their hand-rolled cigars where they were dropped. The bartender begins to lock up the drinks, but before he can close the saloon, a stranger comes roaring into town. He is riding an enormous bull buffalo, one that looks ridden to the point of death. He's wearing a filthy, torn Stetson and a greasy old shirt. He smells like he's never looked at a bathtub in his life. He's got a Colt on one hip, and a twelve-inch Arkansas Toothpick on the other. On his face is a look of cruel, insane meanness. As he comes roaring in on his buffalo, he pulls up next to the saloon. He jumps down, punches the buffalo square in the jaw, bites it on the ear, and shouts, "STAY!" as the buffalo cowers into the corner. He enters the saloon just before the bartender can get away. "Hold up!" the stranger shouts. "I crave red-eye." The bartender sees no choice, and produces an entire bottle of red-eye. The stranger smashes the neck of the bottle and downs the contents in a single gulp. "W-w-would you like an-another one, s-s-s-sir?" "Not on your life," the stranger retorts, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "I'm getting the hell out of here!"The stranger leans in close to the bartender and says, "Haven't ya heard? Big John is comin' to town!"