My 3 year old will not listen to me...

It's never easy and I feel that even though they say "terrible twos" that 3 is worse! You have to find logical consequences to his behavior and follow through the first time. No threats, just do what you say. For example, if he is mean to the baby, then he can't be in the room with the baby. If he throws toys, the toys are taken away. If he hits someone else, he not only has to apologize but has to sit quietly by himself. If this doesn't work, start taking away priveledges but do things that are pretty immediate. For example, no playtime if he can't play nicely. Or no special desserts or the like. Be patient and be CONSISTENT!!! Good luck.

welcome to my world i have a soon to be 4 year old and hes the same. i have revorted from all the above you have mentioned. i try and do something different with him. play a game or build puzzels. to me i found it to work, he is seeking yours,our attention. yelling at them just made things worse. and yes, dad gets home and its like he has a off button. mine is the same way. try and do something different, playgounds and walk work too. i hope that this can help you, i know how fustrating it can be. best of luck

You have to find something to bargain with. Observe him for a day or two and find out what he really loves to do. Then you say "If you don't stop being naughty, you will lose the privelage of playing with your firetruck(or whatever)" It might be a tv show, a favorite toy, or free time to play outside. There have to be consequences for his actions and you can do it without spanking. He knows he has control right now, you just need to find out the best way to take it back. Best wishes to you!

Welcome to HEL*. Just kidding. Honestly I have found that my three year old doesn't listen to a word I say. I might as well be speaking a foreign language. But he loves to be a helper'er. If I put things in the contxt of helping he is all for it. Good luck

Hi Again Jennifer, I'n my past life I used to be a Youth & Family counsellor, so I have a few ideas I can share with you. The trick with discipline is to make the consequence fir the "crime". So for example if your child is watching t.v. and you ask him/her to do something and he/she doesn't listen then your child loses the priviledge of watching t.v.....then you let the child know how they can get the priviledge back..so for example, if you listen to what I aksed you to do the t.v. will go back on... Here is another example, if you have asked your child to put away his/her toys and they don't, then you take those specific toys away...then you let the child know that if he/she shows you that they can take care of their toys and put them away then they can have the toys back. Just remember make the consequence relevant t o the behaviour, make it happen fast, let the child know how they can earn whatever back, and don't tell your child things like, wait until your dad comes home!! I hope that helps...if you want help with something specific just write me and I'll see what I can do. Good Luck, Mithrae p.s. there are some good shows on tv about this stuff like Supernannies...

Maybe I'll suggest you try a different approach. I had the same problem with my daughter before when she was around 2 years old, more because she didn't recognize me much as her mom, because I was working. But when I became a stay home mom. And she still didn't wanted to listen to me. I tried to change tactics. I tried to her make some activities only for the both of us. I showered her with more attention, love and affection. Even if I wanted to scold her. I ended up cuddling her and talking to her. Happily, she is such a sweet baby now. (^^,)

I hear what you say it may be just a phase he is going through. I always say what a good girl my daughter is and emphasis her good behaviour and ignore her bad behaviour. I found this article may help a little: The family has the responsibility for keeping young children safe, providing love and helping all their children to learn to get along with people. The most important beginning is the development of trust. The infant needs to know that there is someone who cares and provides for his or her needs. Holding and cuddling is a physical need. So as you can see give him more love and more affection.

They tell us about the terrible twos but they don't even mention the awful 3s*L* I think 2 just prepares us for 3. The one important thing to remember which is hard for me is to remember to stay calm. Also be consistant. If you say no then it is no and do not waiver because of the fits. Once you waiver he will learn that enough fits and you will give in. That goes for everything you do. Again this isn't always easy when they are laying on the floor of the grocery store screaming but you cannot give it or he will know what triggers you. Just remember be strong, count to ten and remember this too shall pass.

Do you have a time out chair? These seem to really work. Make it one specific chair that is out of the way...not in the living room or play room. Explain to him if he misbehaves then he will go to the time out chair. You have to explain the misbehavior to him. YOu can't just say if your are naughty, because he might not think he is being bad. Tell him the behaviors that he does that will put him in the chair. Have him sit in the chair until he can tell you why he was in the chair. If he leaves the chair before you say he can, put him back. It may take time, but he will get it after being placed in the chair many times in a row until he stays there. Maybe at the end of the day if he has had no time out, reward him with a small prize. You want to make mom time a fun time, but his behavior will determine this. It is all too funny how kids change when the dad comes home. Some feel that the dad is more serious when it comes to discipline than moms. Be consistent and things will all come together. good luck

haha,i have no baby,but i thought the only way is patience.

three year olds are really hard to control. they are at that stage of development where they test their limits just to gain autonomy or control over their environment. its normal for them to be deviant sometimes but you just have to be firm and stern with your rules. set your limits but not rule with an iron fist. physical punishments should be the last resort. talk to them and explain to them why their actions are wrong but don't embarrass them in front of other people cause this could harm them psychologically. don't worry. just be patient with them and enjoy playing with them. it's a rare chance that you get to be a kid again. but don't forget to let them know that you're their parent too. that you command respect and that there are rules for their safety and for them to follow.

I have a little boy who is almost three and he displays very similar behavior to your son's. I too have struggled with keeping my patience with him and have basically run out of ideas as to how to deal with him, and how to let him know that I am the boss, not him. I find that my son acts worse when he's tired or hasn't had enough sleep. So I've started trying to make sure that he's had enough sleep. He doesn't take naps much anymore so I have to get him to bed fairly early or we have a huge fight on our hands with trying to get him to stay in bed. All I can suggest is keep being persistant with him, keep letting him know that you're the boss, and he needs to behave and listen to you. Also, have you tried taking things that he enjoys from him as punishment for misbehavior?

Dealing with kids is very difficult, but what I found that works is simple and very effective. does he have a favorite toy, blanket, whatever. When he does not act appropriately take it away from him - he may scream and yell, but don't give in. And if it get worse then take another thing away. Soon they will get the picture that if I act this way the things that I like go away... and as his behavior get better he earns those things back. It is a great way to get the to behave.

Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old, he will not depart from it..." Like you I also have two children both boys...my eldest is 3 and my youngest is 6 months old. As far as my eldest is concerned, I've learned to be consistent in disciplining him. Spanking children should be done once in a while to prove your point but do it in such a way that you do not abuse the child. Sometimes with toddlers, you have to be firm because they are at that stage in their life where they try test if they can get away with what they want all the time. So setting the ground rules early would help you a lot when the kids are a lot older. You should not feel bad when you impose discipline because it is our duty as parents to mold our children to become better individuals... I suggest you read the book of Cheri Fuller entitled "The Mom You are Meant To Be". This book is very inspiring and I guess every mothers should read it.

I understand that he is exploring everything.One of the best principles for young kids to learn is learning through experience. What i mean is that is if he subscribed to the house rule then he gets the support of the family members if not then he will not get the support. what I mean further is that proper understanding of the rule is so important.

hi i had a nursery nurse here a month or so ago and she was telling me that the best way to deal with little darlings like ours are: 1. ignore bad behaviour thats exactly what they want they dont see it as been tols off they simply see attention instead change the subject by saying something like oh have you seen tha plane in the sky or wheres tht book you really like or shall we have a biscuit i know its hard but stay as calm as you can. 2. make a sticker chart for everytime there good shiny blue stars may be a big hit and when the charts full he gets to take you shopping for a special present or treat. 3. when you go to the supermarket do a little list of things he needs to get for you or things he needs to spot whilst out shopping if the bad behaveiour starts warn once then put everything down and leave he'll soon realise he's missing out too. 4. give praise and loads of it oh your such a good boy mummy loves you soo much your little brother will learn to be a big boy from you arent you clever. 5.when he is naughty say oh i dont like it when your like this it makes mummy sad do you remember the day you were sooooo good i love it when your like that it takes some time but boy is it worth it she also told me that going out exploring flowers and buds birds anything use this time just for the two of you and get him to tell everyone about it when you get back. good luck let me know how you get on Sam xxxxxx

maybe patience is needed.i have a 7 children and i handle them w/ patience.children are acting like that when they are young,like 1-7,but you should show him that ur not happy on what his doing...

Since you are not inclined to physical disipline I would suggest telling your three year old that if he does not straighten up his act Daddy will not be happy and it would make Daddy very sad. It sounds as if your son cares more for the admiration of his father, it is a man thing. Tell him that Daddy says to do the things that you want him to do. You have to speak with a firm voice and threaten to spank with no actual intent on doing so, just make him believe that you will tap that hinny.

Hello Jennifer, I understand ur feelings cause i have also gone through this. I myself was the mother of a 3 year old some years back n I tell u the one thing I really appreciate in u is wat u told like" I am against physical spanking" yes I too agree to that so then what u should be doing . well jenn the greatest mistake in us elders is that we see everything only in our perspective. We tend to think like "when my husband comes he listens to him then why he is not listening to me?" actually its not because the 3 year old differentiates between u n ur husband . the thing is ur hus is able to come down to the level of ur 3 year old so that ur baby is able to identify ur husband as his friend or play mate or what ever. so he listens to him obviously. no don think i am finding fault with u. u just closely observe how tactically ur hus gets the attention of ur child,n u try to do it as naturally in ur own way . beleive me small kids are so very innocent . if u can get to there wave length beleive me u wont be knowing how time flies. so don scold them ,shout at them ,or be angry to them. just understand there level n u come down from ur matured grown up level to ur 3 yr old's level. and u said like ur 3 year old gets mean with ur 10 months baby. please don say like that. u c chidren always want the attention of there parents particularly there mother's. so when he feels his attention is been diverted to the new born baby; he naturally will feel angry to the baby. thats human psychology. so its ur resposibility to see to it that it does not happen. u try to involve ur 3 year old in small activities concerning ur baby's like allowing him to put powder on the baby after bath n simple things like that n also allow him to mingle with the baby rather than telling him not to do this not to do that I am sure if u implement all these little little things in due course of time u will surely see a difference Thanks jennifer, Leena Punnen

As a mother, you need not just to be with them, but also play with them. Act as a kid too so that they will enjoy talking, laughing, and playing with you. I had experienced that also with my 2 kids, a boy and a girl. Sometimes I would be mad at them. But i decided to motivate them through plays and also eating their favorite foods like chocolates, candies, drinks etc. I found out it would help a lot