My daughters teacher is taking it too far!

@soccermom (3198)
United States
April 12, 2007 8:54pm CST
My daughter is in 5th grade, honor student and overall intelligent kid. She has this science teacher who is a little unconventional when it comes to stating his personal views to his students. He doesn't believe in watching TV, listening to top 40 music, home schools his kids and is a real hard a**. He has, what I consider, vebally abused his students all year. I attempted to talk to him a couple months ago after he told the class if they didn't pay attention they "might as well go home and hang themselves" because the education he is providing is important. My daughters best friends uncle had in fact hung himself at Christmas, and I went to talk to him about his remark. He apologized, but I got the feeling that he was brushing me off. Then my daughter came home complaining that he was clicking pens nad hitting a ruler on his desk while she was attempting to do an in class assignment, she politely asked him to stop as she found it distracting, and he yelled at her, told her she would have to deal with distractions her whole life and to deal with it, and if she didn't like it she could sit the rest of his class out in the hall and take an "F" on the assignment. This time my hubby went and talked to him, and also got an insincere apology, but was also told that my hubby doesn't know what these kids have to deal with and the teacher feels he is doing them a favor. This prompted me to write a complaint to the principle, which never got answered. My child feels bullied, and we agree with her. Well, tonite my daughter was really studying her science book hard, and then broke down in tears. I asked her why she was crying and her response was that this teacher told her if she didn't get a "A" on tomorrows teat she might as well "call herself Britney, shave her head and check into rehab." I am furious! This is way out of line for a 5th grade science teacher! I have tried to talk to him, my hubby has tried to talk to him, plus I have written letters to the principle and the school board, but his remarks today are just proof that he's not getting it! There's a little over a month left of school, my daughter has a "B" in his class, and I've heard from other parents this guy has had this problem for years. Do I tell my daughter to just suck it up and deal with the verbal abuse? What do I do about htis teacher? It sounds like he's been getting away with this behavior for years!
13 people like this
30 responses
• United States
13 Apr 07
That is ridicolus You need to get a group of parents together and go in front of the school board on one of their meeting nights and let them listen to everything he is doing and ask them why he is still there! Your daughter will probably have to put up with it for one more month but if things change at least no other kid will have to deal with it That is so stupid that a teacher gets away with saying things like that to a 5th grader That is a very impressionable age
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
13 Apr 07
No wonder he home schools his own kids, so they don't have to worry about having a teacher as verbally abusive as this one! Something has to be done about this guy. How in the heck has he gotten away with doing this to kids for years? Maybe go see the principle in person? Talk to the school board? Like someone else suggested, go to the press? He is really a poor example for students and he is making a horrendous impression on them that they probably won't soon forget. I feel bad for your daughter and all the other students that have had to deal with this jerk.
5 people like this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I would get a bunch of the parents together and all go to the principal and the board of education and tell what has been going on. This guy should not be allowed to teach any further. If several parents get together it should make more of an impact. However I'm sure they will keep him until the end of the year. Your daughter will have to put up with it. You must do something. That is the worst thing I have ever heard in my life. Gather parents who's children have had him in the past also and make a stand. Really I'm sure your daughter would have had an A if it wasn't for the abuse.
3 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
13 Apr 07
well looks like you did everything you could but, have you thought o go to the other parents and get them to go with you to the school board and get him thrown out! It seems ashame that a teacher that is there to teach your kids is such a dumb a**. I do beleive id rally the parents of all he has taught and bombard the school with irate parents if they will stick with you. Think I would be in class to see what he dose or realy stand outside his door where he cant see you and just see how he acts he should be able to get away with this for years on end are is the princible just dont care or what I got to stop I am getting mad and I am not there to help you out!
4 people like this
@xfahctor (14118)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
13 Apr 07
I bwould get a grouip of parernts to gether and go to a school board meeting. I would also wriet to a school official at the state level, like the state education commissioner or equivelent. In addition to this, perhaps go to the media with the story. they love to get their teeth into things like this. evben if it means going to a national news agency like fox news or cnn. Tis is disgusting behavior for a teacher and it sounds like he is an unstable individual. Someone like this has no business teaching. SOmehting like this can ruin an education for a child.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
13 Apr 07
My daughter has always loved school, and had a big interest in science, until this year. This teacher has totally broken her self esteem. I'm considering getting a group of parents together, but my husband thinks I'm just being a troublemaker so close to the end of the school year.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Apr 07
I think u have to register a complaint in DEO(District Educational Officer)Office against that teacher.
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
14 Apr 07
That is one very awful teacher who should not be teaching children or anyone for that matter. Since you and your husband have tried talking to him and the principle, I would take it another step higher or even higher than that if necessary to have action taken. The school district should know about this teacher and what he is doing to the kids. If nothing happens, I would take your daughter out of that school and into a different school. Children should not be subject to his abuse. I would not have my child in that school for sure.
• United States
13 Apr 07
I had a teacher like that. He was an OK teacher but he was harsh in some areas and rough on us kids. He gave a girl detention one day because she was smiling. When he asked her why she just said she was in a good mood. Her dad complained and came in and sat in a class one day. The teacher was sso nice and everything was greta while he was there. The best thing to do is to keep complaining and get the other parents more involoved. Maybe get a petition going to watch over him or somehting like that. Let him deal with the distraction of a parent in the classroom. Good luck.
2 people like this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
13 Apr 07
It would seem that what he does has never been proven to the principal or board so they have to come down on his side. If it has been proven then they must be looking at the big picture and that never is in favor of the individual student. His teaching method is tough. And his comments are sometimes stupid. But you have to admit he has gotten your child’s attention. So many teachers that take the easy way out students won't remember 3 years out of school and they will not learned what they should. I know this is hard on your child. Looking at it a different way...as long as he is not physically abusive in any way what he does will prepare her for what lies ahead in the world. This world is getting more difficult all the time. What we use to take for granted no longer applies. And only the person who works hard will succeed...or at least has a chance to. Talk to you child and try to explain that this is nothing personal. If she doesn't take this to heart and only works hard she will come away from this much better for it. And her stress level will go down. We all need to know that how we react to something determines our experience. Give her the knowledge that what he says will not effect her in any way and she will do fine. I do know that children at this age take everything they are told literally. Give her the gift of knowing she doesn't have to and you will do her a huge favor.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 07
""call herself Britney, shave her head and check into rehab."" What a hypocrite. For someone who doesn't watch telly or listen to top 40 radio, how the heck does he know anything about Britney. I agree with all those who have said you need to get a parents group together and take it to the school board. I'm sure there have been tons of complaints about this teacher in the past. Has he been teacher there for long? Sometimes the longer they are there, the more they get away with because their positions are tenured and safe. If you don't do something about him, he will keep bullying kids and lowering their self-esteem. It is not his place to demand perfection or determine when your child should endure distractions. It is his job to teach them, and he certainly isn't doing that.
2 people like this
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Wow, I just cannot believe the teacher would say so much things. However, are they students being mean to him? Is he having some problems? In fact, I think you all should tell him because he might not realize that. First, you should tell him: imagine that you are their age and you are saying these things to you: "You're no body, just go to prison if you don't get an A." Ask him how he feels and what he would say to the teacher and if he would like the class. Perhaps he still answers rudely, but at least you tried. Then it is time to contact the superintendent of the school system or perhaps the mayor, governor or anyone who will listen. Those are some terrible things to say to children. Have a nice day. Pahblo
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
What a monster! I won't permit such kind of talks to my nieces (I don't have kids ;)) I was once a teacher and though I taught college students, I'm careful about my words. You see, children must be treated with much more care because theis minds and personality are not yet developed to its full bloom, there are much more things for them to learn and I don't think it's good to see them learning such monstrous acts and words from a teacher! I suggest you personally approach the school board about this. Let them know how strongly you feel against this teacher's way of teaching. I hope this will move them the way your letter never did. But if it won't, you can talk to your kid about it. You should discuss the matter to her. Tell her that she musn't let her teaacher affect her in a bad way. Maybe it would be better for her to struggle with this and let the situation make her strong and a better person. I wouldn't suggest for you to transfer her to another school. It will be like running away from a problem. No matter where she goes in this world, these kind of people exists, so you might as well prepare her.
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I would recommend talking to a few parents to see if their children are having problems with this teacher as well. If so see how many parents you can get to sign a petition asking that this teacher be fired for his mental abuse to the children. If the scholl bored won't listen to your petition take it to your local newspaper or news station. I bet once you allow the media in on the information the school won't have a choice but to do something.
3 people like this
@Writerbob (572)
• United States
13 Apr 07
As a former teacher, I applaud the efforts of you and your husband to satnd up to this bully. We are not perfect, and I still kick myself for mistakes I made as a teacher (a very mentally stressful job without question), but what you've outlined is a pattern of negativity that will go unchecked unless courageous parents like you take a stand. Always make sure that the principal is involved in future discussions. That insures that there will be follow-up and compliance. He may be unhappy with you, but if he values his job at all then he will bite the bullet. Your daughter will be out of his domain soon, but without anyone confronting the issue seriously he'll just keep the bullying going.
2 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
13 Apr 07
We have had nothing but excellent teachers for our child, even in a very troubled district. I am amazed that this man has been allowed to keep his position as I am finding out that my child is not the only one with issues with him. I was going to be a teacher in a previous life, but shied away from it because I didn't think I could deal with the stress of other peoples kids. Maybe this teacher should do the same. Thanks for the response!
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
13 Apr 07
What is it with science teachers? My neice has had two that have been mean and nasty now, not as bad as this guy you are dealing with but it makes me wonder. Since you have gone to the principle and he has done nothing you need to go over his head. If possible get with other parnets as well to complain but if need be call child services (or whatever they are called in your state). What he is doing is abuse and they can get him on it. If several parents complain they won't brush it off. He's gotten away with it for years and no one has called him on it. It's time someone did. What he is doing is wrong and she should not have to put up with it. If you call child services keep her home that day and then demand that she be moved to a different teacher's class room. Go in and physically see the principle so that he cannot ignore you on this. Even if it's only a month left of school you need to think what is best for your daughter. She does not deserve to have that happening and you should protect her from cretins like that. Good luck and what ever you do don't back down on the issue. If need be call the press and get them involved. If the school is ignoring what he is doing then they are just as quilty as he is. You do what ever it takes to help your daughter and to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 07
It sounds like he is teaching high school. I had to recheck your discussion and make sure I had read that your daughter was in 5th grade. Have you tried to get some of the other parents to go with you to a school board meeting or to the principal's office? Maybe there would be strength in numbers? I find it very strange that he is teaching in a school, but still homeschools his children! I don't think at the 5th grade level that any child should have to put up with the verbal abuse.
2 people like this
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
13 Apr 07
You know what he really worries me is that he homeschools his own kids and yet he teaches the children of other parents in school!!!!! If he has such strong opinions he should not teach in a school. Besides that teaching the children respect and coinfidence in themselves is far more important than shoving the scinece lessons through their throat. Is it possible to complain with other parents at the schoolboard? Is it possible to sue the schoolboard if they don't take action?
2 people like this
@cefaz_21 (2596)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
for now, I think your daughter have to deal with it at least for a month, but make sure you'll check on her always like what you're doing now which is so great of you as her parents...and see to it that she's coping up. As for the teacher,since the school principal has not given attention to your letter,I suggest you go to her in personal and talk to her..and it would be better as the others suggested if you can form a group of parents.The principla might liten to you then. Good luck!
• United States
13 Apr 07
my sister is going through the same thing with her daughters teacher.not quite that verbal abuse but likes to look down little girls shirts. she to has done the same thing that you have done. have you gone to the cops? it is sensless to let your daughter change classes for a month. i do not know how ur life style is or your hubbys but see if one of you can make a unanounced visit to your daughters class and see if you can get the cops in volved . i do not know if you have what they call the supertendent for your school but if you do i would try to get them involved. if you still get no where then i would get a hold of your local tv station and brod cast what is going on . some one some where will get the point that you mean business and you are not going to take this anymore and try to get the parents involved.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 07
Wow. This guy needs to be examined by a professional. He sounds like a loose cannon. I would not let him get away with this. and if the pronciple won't do anything. Go to the school board! Good luck :)
2 people like this