Who should initiate the break-up? We girls? or you guys?
By maple_kisses
@maple_kisses (2156)
Philippines
April 12, 2007 11:07pm CST
I do think it depends in the situation. If the guy cheated on me and I caught him red-handed, I'll break-up with him after I'm finished with my tongue-lashing, (hehehe!, just kidding). Yup, if he wants out; thus, he cheats, then fine, I can let him go. I think guys can do the same thing in this situation too.
I don't mind if the guy breaks-up with me because he doesn't love me anymore too. I mean, if that's the case and he's been feeling that, the relationship has been in a lot of strain I'm sure, so why continue? I can use a little honesty for the guy too.
But you see, in our society, the norms have chosen the woman as the initiator of break-ups. I don't get it. When people hears that a guy just broke up with this girl, they seemed to think less/low of the girl. They think it's a no-no for a guy to break up with a girl. Girls should have that previlege. I don't understand. What do you think? Who should initiate this? Do you still go with the norms? Or you prefer to do it your way?
11 responses
@mikaelalexis (399)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
i do agree with you that it depends on the situation. norms are for normal conservative people. and you cant blame them. and to correct, it's not actually the norms it's just how we used to see it. and because most people do it or think about it most often, we tend to consider it to be the norms. girls was never deprived of that privilege to do action first. it's just that they tend to stick with the "norms". go girl! break up with him!
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
well, we don't really see it as a previlege, right? I mean, I think it's a difficult task...
@mikaelalexis (399)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
it is as it was! girls just don't seem to exercise that privilege so men took it. simple as that.
@gaylordfocker615 (389)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
I don't think it matters who says it. WHat matters most is that whoever feels that way and has thought things through says it in a manner not too hurtfull but honest. That could be the hardest thing to do when you're in that situation. I know.
@chasserdesreves (142)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
that depends actually. if you don't feel okay with your relationship and you know it wouldn't bring you any good then break up with him. sometimes the problem with people are their pride, for example just because they are guys they won't break up with the girl because they don't want to hurt them, you break up or not if you're not happy you will eventually hurt the person.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
Yeah, staying in a "loveless" relationship to "save" someone from getting hurt is wrong, actually, it's more painful to stay when you both know the relationship is going nowhere
@martinha (631)
• Portugal
13 Apr 07
I don't consider breaking up a relationship a previlege. We break up because something is not right so there's nothing good about it.
It can be the girl or the boy ending the relationship. It doesn't has to be the girl. If he feels bad and doesn't like her anymore why not end it? He has the right to do it, otherwise he has an excuse for cheating. If someone is not ok with the other maybe it has to end. Either if is the girl or the boy.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
yes, my sentiments exactly.... I for one, don't want to be an "excuse" for cheating...
1 person likes this
@atenibuboy (71)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
personally, it doesn't matter to me who initiates the break-up, it could be the girl or the boy. if the relationship is way beyond repair, the couple should sit down and talk about it and try to come up with a solution, even if it meant breaking up. from a rational point of view, breaking up is always a decision of two individuals.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
Yes, you are right, it must be a mutual decision; thus, it should be a breakup initiated by both party... thanks for your reply :D
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
13 Apr 07
just be honest
Norm can be a good choice
why limit yourself though?
@sweetangie26 (263)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
yup.for me it's a case to case basis..it's not fair to say that we girls should be given the privilege to initiate the break-ups.. men and women already share the same responsibilities and privileges as well..just like courting , it's not a big issue now as to who should do the courting because there are now women who court, right?..so, if guys feel like breaking up, because they are not already comfortable with the relationship, then do so..it would also be unfair for the girl also..as if, the guy is just forcing himself to be with the girl even if he doesn't love the her anymore.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
Yup, I definitely agree with you, no one must be forced in a relationship because he/she can't initiate the break-up...
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
So, a guy should wait till the girl thinks it's time to break-up? Hmmm... I can hear other guys saying, "That's the reason we cheat man, because we cannot break up with girls when we want to, we have to wait for them..."
