Would You Home School Your Child To Keep Her FromBeing Teased?

teasing - bully teasing child
@all4ucnc (861)
United States
April 13, 2007 11:44am CST
My brother is wanting to keep his little girl home, and home school her, just because he's afaid kids may tease her when she starts school, she inherited her daddy's large ears, and growing up he was made fun of on regular basis and he's afraid she may experience to same abuse when she gets into school, and he thinks he's saving her from being an outcast.. I told him to get her into some activities like dance or T-ball where she'll make friends before she goes to school. Then she'll know people before she starts and wont feel like an outcast.... What would your advise be? And would be one to keep your child home to save them from the mean words of some kids?
8 people like this
27 responses
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I would never home school for that reason. My youngest daughter has dwarfism which means she too has larger ears and she is small so can take a lot of teasing for that. I know the teasing is hard because we deal with it a lot. However keeping her at home would not change that or teach her to deal with what people of all ages will do. What about going to the park, the store, church all of those places that have people that as sad as it is don't know when to keep their mouths closed. Your brother needs to understand as a parent the best we can do is give our children the answers as to how to deal with teasing. We need to let our children grow up and teasing happens. It could ears, height, glasses, color of eyes and so on but it happens. The nice thing about a girl is if you keep their hair longer it is harder to see the ears. My daughter laughs about her own ears. She tends to measure them against mine all the time. Tell him not to worry that she will be fine because he is one that will understand what she is feeling if she is teased. It is hard but I can tell you that my daughter has some really good come back lines when she is teased about her height and ears. I am sure he can come up with some about her ears too. Hiding her away won't it be telling her she has something to be ashamed of? Be patient when you talk to him he is just trying to protect his little princess.
@tgreen80 (171)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Whether he home schools her or not there will always be a time where she comes into contact with other children who may or may not tease her. Keeping her at home during school hours is not going to stop other kids at other places from teasing her. What I would do is constantly talk to her about teasing and how there are some kids that say or do things that are not nice and to not let it get to her. I was teased at school because I had what kids call bucked teeth and I was over weight and it gave me a complex about myself but I dont want to keep my child from the outside world and the education that she could learn in a school setting. I think that would be a bad idea because I think it will create other problems in the future.
• United States
13 Apr 07
As much as i understand they want to prtect her from the hard life..its just something thats gona have to be dealt with..besides if its not ears.its kids weight,the way the talk..the way the dress..anything sets kids off on being cruel..its just part of life..and something we all have to deal with some point in time..and the sooner she deals with it..the sooner she can understand how to ignore them and relize they are just unhappy with themselves so they must pick on other kids to make themselves feel better..I know it wil hurt for a period of time..but this will also make her a stronger person as she gorws,..
@medooley (1873)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I agree 100% Great advice!
3 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 07
medooley ,,thank you so much..i realy appreciate your reply to me..:) and all4..I absolutely agree with you..i think she needs to read all these wonderful sugestions herself and relize what she is gona do to her in the longrun./.and this is something she just cant protect her from..and it wil get better..heck they just might not pick at all.,and keave her alone..and she might just be friends with everyone:)
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Right...And don't you think that if he introduces her to school when she hits middle school, it'll be harder for her fit in, not being around kids and learning how to be social at a younger age?
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
The sad thing is that kids aren't just mean. When they decide to cast you and pick on you, it is with the worst intentions and cruelty that they do so. I got picked on as a kid because my mom made a lot of my clothes. I got picked on because of my last name, and sometimes I just got bullied for the heck of it. Today I'm a stronger perrson for it, but not all kids get through it that well, and it's been the cause for a lot of hurt and animosity in some people's lives after they grow up. Sheltering her from the world isn't going to teach her how to grow and react within the world. He needs to teach her that no matter what anyone in the world says about her, she's a unique and perfect individual who is loved always. If he teaches her to love herself, it won't matter what anyone else thinks.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
I would consider homeschooling my own kids for a variety of reasons. But if your brother's ONLY reason for wanting to homeschool his daughter is to keep her from getting teased about her ears, that seems pretty extreme! If he were asking me, I'd say to at least let her try school and see what happens. He can't keep her out of public situations her whole life, and keep her away from other children! That just wouldn't be fair to her! What if she asks, "Daddy, why can't I go to school?" Will he say, "Because you have large ears and I'm afraid the kids will make fun of you?" If thats his only reason for wanting to homeschool, I'd say to consider it seriously, and think of giving the little girl a chance. She, and the other children, may surprise him!
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I can understand where your brother is coming from. My daughter is in the second grade this past year she has asked us to home school her because she is getting made fun of because of her size. To the point that there was a girl that would hit her numerous times through out the day. As a parent you want to protect your child from having to feel this pain.But it is also your duty to the child to teach them how to overcome lifes obstacles. Let her know how beautiful she is.
2 people like this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
14 Apr 07
He hasn't even given her the chance to try it out...He's just assuming that she will be an outcast...That bothers me alot.
1 person likes this
@medooley (1873)
• United States
14 Apr 07
No I would not home school my child to keep them from getting teased. Getting teased is a part of life, and I am willing to be that pretty much everyone is teased at some time in their life. You can not shelter your children from ever thing in this world that is mean, unfortantly. Don't forget get to tell your brother that his daughter has a natural hidding ability that he may not have had. She can grow her hair out and keep the ear hidden, where he probably didn't have long hair to cover it. The only reason I would home school my children is if I felt that they would get a better education at home, or if there was something that the school was teaching that I had a huge issue with.
1 person likes this
@dbeast (1495)
• India
13 Apr 07
my advise would be a big NO.this should not happen for the good of the child.the child should be exposed to what life really is.if she is protected like this she only will become more timid towards what life has in store for her.it is just a matter of time where she will get over it once she starts making friends and once she indulges in her activities in school she ll be to obusy to even notice all this.so make sure that she does go to school because that is one of the best phases of life.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I wouldn't homeschool my child because I was afraid they would be teased. No matter where they are if there are kids around who tease other kids she'll still be affected by that. I think your idea about getting her into some activities is great. You can't completely shelter a child from something like that. They need to learn how to deal with some not so pleasant things in order to learn to cope.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
13 Apr 07
You can't protect your children all their life. I really think that he is making this worse, especially if his daughter hears him say she will be teased because of her ears. She can wear her hair down so they aren't noticable. I wouldn't keep my child home and home school for this reason. Children need the socialization with other children. I think that your advise to get her in activities now so she will have an established friend or two is great advice.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 07
As a homeschooling mom, I think that if that's his only reason for wanting to homeschool her, then he needs to put her in school. Most homeschoolers have their child's education as their first priority, not something trivial like their child's appearance. Homeschooling is a lot of work, takes a lot of dedication, and he shouldn't take it so lightly.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 07
I do home school my child because right now I do not like that way the whole school system is working and at home my child has more power to learn and is more relaxed than ever I have even found out that our coversations are changing for the better we no longer talk about video games but more on the career choice and so many different things. It's been really great
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 07
I do home school my child because right now I do not like that way the whole school system is working and at home my child has more power to learn and is more relaxed than ever I have even found out that our coversations are changing for the better we no longer talk about video games but more on the career choice and so many different things. It's been really great
1 person likes this
13 Apr 07
I know homeschooling is pretty normal within the US but here it doesnt happen that much and my opinion is that a child would lose out by never having gone to school. The story would be different if he took her out of school after having had a horrible time with being teased but as you explain it she has never even been in school and she wouldnt get the opportunity due to fears her dad has from the past which I dont think is really fair on her.
1 person likes this
@tiff1496 (570)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I don't think I would. I think being teased is something that happens to every child. People are mean every day, kids and adults. No need to shelter children from that, its going to happen. School gets kids ready for the "real" world.
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Well I would try to get her in a private school. If that doesn't work out then I'll home school her. It is so sad to see kids being made fun of. Is this what we are turning into? It's just so sad. I always tell my little brother to punch one in the face if they're making fun of him so they can stop.
• United States
14 Apr 07
I'm currently attending and online school which is basically home school. I have a fear of people and getting my education in my own home is a lot easier on me now that I'm by myself. Generally schools don't do much about teasing or bullying unless it gets physical which I think is BS since that child is going to be really messed up in the head as an adult.
@colega17 (312)
• Romania
14 Apr 07
No way I would do that . . . If my kid goes to school that doesn't mean he / she will be teased . . . Of course there might be some exceptions but this is not a reason to home school . People should socialize with other since they are children in order not to feel outcast later . The kid should meet the world , have friends with whom he / she will pass over the bad moments . . .
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I totally disagree with your brother!! I was home-schooled most of my life and I was miserable!! I didn't have many friends, and didn't get to do any social/sporting activities at all. I think I really missed out on alot and I would hate for some other kids to be grow-up like I did! I would never homeschool my kids because I know how hard it is. I am not saying it is wrong all together, just my experisnce from it wasn't good. She might get teased a bit but just let her wear her hair down if someone teases her! I am sure she is a beautiful little girl, don't worry about the ears!! We just got my daughtes class picture yesterday and I was surprised at all the little kids that have big ears!! I didn't say anything to my daughter because she doesn't notice that sort of thing. I am sure she will be fine!!
1 person likes this
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
13 Apr 07
No child should be home schooled on that basis alone. The message he would be sending her is "you're not pretty enough to be with the kids in school, so I'm keeping you home". I agree with your advice to get her involved in other activities now so that she has a solid group of friends around her to keep her balanced. Eventually, she'll grow her hair long and her ears will be covered any way. Home schooling is fine, but not for that reason alone.