Tragedy in our home - My guilt is huge.

United States
April 13, 2007 3:29pm CST
I've always taken all the extra precautions to make sure that my two boys were safe. Two days ago, tragedy happened and now I am filled with guilt and all of the things I wish I would've done differently at that moment. I had just started browning hamburger for supper and was going to put my sixteen month old in his high chair when he walked into the kitchen. I had the handle of the pan turned towards the center and back of the stove and had just turned around to get a dishcloth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son walking into the kitchen. Before I could grab him, I saw him grab the edge of the pan and pull it off of the stove. Most of the hamburger was still pink, but there was just enough grease in the pan to splash his face when the pan came off the stove. We rushed him into the tub and ran cold water over his burns and then rushed off to the emergency room. He has second degree burns on a couple of spots on the right side of his face. Fortunately, he is expected to heal without any long-term damage. My guilt is huge as I look at his burns and wish I would've put him in his high chair earlier. He has been a real trooper and is still a happy, smiley boy. I just hope that noone else ever has to go through this with their child.
18 people like this
42 responses
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Let go of the guilt it wasnt your fault it was an accident. Be thank-ful that it wasnt worse. Maybe you could put up a baby gate across the kitchen doorway. I did that in my house to keep the day care kids out of the kitchen while i was cooking. When i was about three i stuck a metal measuring cup under the water goig into the washing machine it was hot enough that it scalded my entire chest and stomach. My mom was only 2 feet from me.kids move fast.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thanks for your words of advice and sharing your own personal story. I have now put our baby gate in the kitchen so that I can use it when I'm cooking!
@xfahctor (14118)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
13 Apr 07
I think as parents we all have had a few moments like this. Kids, especialy small ones, act quickly and unpredictably. When my second eldest daughter was 2, I had set an open bottle of advil on the table and went to the sink to get some water to take it with.When i opened the bottle, she was in the living room. In the 45 seconds it took me to get a glass of water, she had came into the kitchen and proceeded to down the bottle and chew a bunch. We took her to the hospital, along with the bottle so we could count and determnain how many she had consumed. It turns out she only got 3 or 4 into her so no harm done. Yes it was a terrible thing that happend but you baby is going to be ok. Accidents happen, dont let yourself get to bothered by it. We have almost all had these things happen.
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thanks for sharing your story. Terrible things can happen in the shortest amount of time. I'm glad your daughter turned out fine!
• United States
13 Apr 07
Ahhh...poor baby. Just know that every parent makes little mistakes that we don't even think twice about until it happens. He is going to heal and no lasting damage, so you have to forgive yourself and just go on and just make sure to turn the pan handles from now on. I bet you will never ever forget it again. :) Just give him some extra love and kisses and he will be fine. Good luck to you
3 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thanks for your caring words - we are watching him heal each day!
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I'm really sorry to hear this. Please don't feel so guilty. Kids can get into lots of things that can hurt them even with the best precautions.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Isn't that the truth - they just move so fast.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
No matter how hard we try to shield our kids from everything, we cannot. Accidents happen, they are a part of daily life. Don't be so hard on yourself. Think of this as a learning experience. hugs
3 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Yes, it has been a real learning experience. I'm trying to move forward and not just focus on that terrible moment.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Awww, that made me cry. Poor little guy. Accidents happen all the time. Children get hurt but they always bounce back. If you can learn a lesson from this then at least something good came out of it. I'm sorry he got hurt I hope he feels better fast. Give him a hug and tell him you love him.
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thanks for your comments! I have been giving lots of extra hugs and loving the past three days!
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
I am so sorry this happened to you and your son. However...you have to stop blaming yourself... Sometimes you just can't stop certain things from happening. It is very hard to keep your eye on small children. I know my son had his share of accidents when he was smaller. Don't blame yourself. His wounds will fade and just be thankful it wasn't any worse...and now you know what to do in the future...and what not to do...
3 people like this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Accidents happen and at least you did the right thing and reacted fast to make sure your child is okay. My mother forgot to close off the opening to the basement. It was a 10 foot drop. There were no stairs only a ladder. My brother was I think 4 and he fell down and amazingly enough he was not hurt except for a couple black and blue marks. My mom called 911 and the strapped him to a board and took him to the hospital. My mom and my brother spent the night in the hospital just to be on the save side. I call him the boy of steel. He has done a lot of stupid things and I'm shocked he is still alive.
2 people like this
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
14 Apr 07
awww poor little guy. dont feel too bad mom, things like this happen to LOTS of people all the time.. maybe you could get a gate up to block him from entering the room when your cooking? or put him in his high chair with a couple crayons and paper to keep him entertained.. I have a 2 year old that loves to run through the house and especially the kitchen when he knows were in there cooking so I know how easily this can happen.. but I bet he has also learned that things on the stove are hot and not to touch..
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Poor little one! My son is also 16 months, and I know just how quickly they can move. It also surprises us how quickly and easily he can do things and reach things that he couldn't do just a minute before. DS figured out how to climb on our couch, so now I have that to worry about too. Glad to hear your DS will be ok. Hope you don't feel too guilty. It was just an accident. They'll happen more too! :(
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
14 Apr 07
I am so sorry to hear, about what happened, i wish him good health and hope he will recover fast. thing happen, and somtthimes, we can not control everything that happens, we are all humans. i hope everything is going to be well.
@uiwwitch (892)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I'm sorry to hear what happened to your little boy. Although I'm also happy to hear that everything is ok now, without any long term damage. No matter how much we try to be careful about everything, accidents still happen. So don't beat yourself up and just charge it to experience. Hopefully nothing like this, or any accident for that matter, happens again.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Wow I am truely speechless how do you feel. I think before you start cooking you should maybe make sure everything is where it is suppose to be. I wish your son all the best
1 person likes this
• China
14 Apr 07
I come form china , the child mischievously to grow up well. ourviewpoint .
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
14 Apr 07
ouch... i'm sorry to hear about the accident that happen to your son... but that is why it is called accident... we regret it later after it had happened and we wish that we had done something in advance to prevent it or reverse back the time... unfortunately, we can't do any of those... so, the only thing that we can do is just to learn from our mistakes and never to repeat it again... i hope that your boy will be healed soon and please give him a hug from me... all the best...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
Oh shoot that is a really really sad one... I can feel your sadness about this especially it involves your son. I hope in no time he will be soon recover and it won't left any scar in his face that could make you remember the incident.
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Oh I'm so sorry for your little one-- : ( ... Accidents happen- please remember this otherwise you will go crazy with guilt. Teach him the danger of the stove-- Hot-- Hot... I'm so sorry! I just want to keep saying this! I hope that it heals up nicely... I know you will be extra careful from now on-- Just give him lots of love now-- And remember accidents happen!
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
14 Apr 07
I live on a farm and I have a very active 4 year old son. I have been very diligent at watching him and keeping him out of harms way in and out of the house but what you need to realize is that things are going to happen. Of course you will feel guilty as any good parent will. Often when things happen we as people (parents) think "well what if I had've done this or that differently"... but the truth is kids are going to hurt themselves. Who knows, maybe if you had've put him in the highchair like you seem to think you should ahve maybe he would've fallen out of the high chair while you were cooking or maybe the highchair might have fallen over with him inside... I can't tell you to lose the guilt because you are a good parent and you will always have it because we want the best for our children we don't want them to be heart or have their hearts broken or ever have them lose their dreams etc... But please know that my four year old has toppled onto his head and gotten a huge goose egg right on the middle of his forhead, my little brother once got up on the stove and while sitting on the burner started playing with the knobs and burnt his leg, my sister shoved corn up her nose (had to go to the drs. to have it removed) while we were picking corn in the field. My older brother fell off a hay wagon while we were doing hay.... I could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that you are doing a great job please don't feel bad.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Apr 07
well you shouldnt feel so guilty because you cant change yr destiny. whatever Allah does has some wisdom behind it. you cant blame yrself because you even if you had put yr son on the high chair he still would have hurt himself in some way because God's will cannot be changed no matter what precautions one might take, well pray to God for your son's wounds, because prayer has a lot of power. good luck
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
Oh wow. This tugged at my heartstrings. I have a 3 and 5 year old and I spend my day seeing potential accidents. I know everyone else has been saying this but it is the way it is...You HAVE to stop blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong! It was an ACCIDENT. That all being said...I think I would be feeling the same way you are if it had happened to my son. :) Sorry but it is the truth. When my 5 year old was 2 (almost 3) he had gotten a fancy spiral like straw from my mother-in-law. I was in the kitchen with him where he was drinking from a 'grown-up-cup' with his new straw. He decided to stand on the chair so he could drink better. I didn't even have time to grab him before he fell. Wouldn't be a big deal except we had to rush him to the Dr. where we found out he had broken his collar bone. I felt terrible..."I shouldn't have let him have the straw" "I should have brought in his little table instead of being at the big table" "I should have been able to see it coming"...and on and on and on. Now that it has been a few years I can honestly say it was just an accident. He healed and luckily there is no permanent damage. I think most mothers have a story or two to tell about their children. It will be allright. HUGS! :)