Are you homeward bound, or leaving?
By arcadian
@arcadian (930)
United States
April 14, 2007 5:58pm CST
Some people never leave home. I grew up in the house my mother grew up in. She had a dreadful childhood in that house, happy only when she was outside of it. The same is true for me. Last year when I heard that it burned down, I felt a sense of loss- in some part of my mind I always wanted to go there and make it a happy place. Now it doesn't exist.
The town itself has suffered from economic hardship and yet I want to go there. Inexplicable. We call home the place we happen to live in, but we feel a sense of home only in a certain place which may be long ago, or still to come-and home may be a stifling thing we yearn to get away from. What does home mean to you?
1 response
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I am sorry that the place that you would have liked to make a happy place burned down. There is a loss there and my condolences.
As for what does home mean to me?
Hmm...it is just the place that I live. I guess that is because I have moved around so much in my life from home to home, that I never got to put much time into each place to invest those feelings of home.
Yet, I still see Florida as my home state because that is where I was raised.
But I do not see it as a place that I consider home any longer. It has changed too much and is not a place to raise a family.
So, now, my home is here with my children...where ever that may take us.
1 person likes this
@arcadian (930)
• United States
15 Apr 07
there is a passage in a psalm- even the birds have their nest but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head- having no sense of home in reality felt that way to me, and because I found it in what is really ancient writing, I felt that it was a heartache through all the ages for anyone who had such a feeling.
Home is something ahead of me not behind me, and the desire to recapture the poosiblity of that house becoming a true home was nothing more than a desire for familiarity without the fear and so on that I had felt in the past. I think its true- home is something you create around and for the children and in doing so give it to yourself as well. Home in that case is fluid.
@arcadian (930)
• United States
15 Apr 07
there is a passage in a psalm- even the birds have their nest but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head- having no sense of home in reality felt that way to me, and because I found it in what is really ancient writing, I felt that it was a heartache through all the ages for anyone who had such a feeling.
Home is something ahead of me not behind me, and the desire to recapture the possiblity of that house becoming a true home was nothing more than a desire for familiarity without the fear and so on that I had felt in the past. I think its true- home is something you create around and for the children and in doing so give it to yourself as well. Home in that case is fluid.
@arcadian (930)
• United States
15 Apr 07
thank you Val- tomorrow night is the dark phase of the moon. I can not go there (a thousand miles from here) phsyically- but I don't need to. I can go to my altar and relinquish the past there tomorrow night-which will be excellant. Your caring shows in this post and I thank you for it. I think I will finally use up all the contents of my little basket of post its and index cards. Lol- i have a habit of collecting ones used to promote things- gifts from trade shows and writers conferences especially- so I have many post its. and many memories to release. I may be as blank as a zombie when I'm done (smirk)No- I have too many sweet and joyous memories of more recent experiences to be filled to overflowing. I won't be blank but I will be free. Thank you.
