Who stays home?

United States
April 16, 2007 11:21pm CST
I was wondering what everybody here thinks about this. If a woman is able to stay at home while the man works, wveyone seems to think that she is lucky. But if the man stays at home while the woman works, he's a bum -- even if eveyone knows that this is something that they want. So I was wondering, what is your opinion? Personally, I would LOVE it if I had a man that would stay at home, keep the house and let me just work outside the home! Heaven!!
8 people like this
20 responses
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
17 Apr 07
Well im personally one of those men who stay home by choice to raise the kids while the wife is the bread maker. I do all the samethings a woman would do at home or more and your right when people find out I do this they automatically think Im bum but this is the way me and the girlfriend like it. It works out for us and I think shes happier to be out working because when shes off more then 4 days she miserable being around but when working full days she all happy and everything.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 07
Well, if no one else has told you thins then I will -- I think it's fantastic that you are a stay at home spouse!! And I DO NOT think you are a bum!
@cynddvs (2949)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I think if a man wants to stay at home while the mom goes to work then more power to them both. Staying at home is a very hard job whether you are a man or a woman. So I would never put down a man who is staying at home with the kids. I personally prefer to stay at home with my daughter and that's how my fiance likes things as well. But there are days when he has a bad day working that he'll come home and say he wishes he could stay at home and play with our daughter all day. HA! Yeah that's all I do is play all day LOL.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 07
Yeah, I hear you! I don't have any children. It's a decision I made a long time ago and I promised that I would never regret it. But children or not, taking care of the house is not a 40 hour a week gig! And You don't get the weekends off. There are still meals to be made and beds to be made and dishes to be washed...
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I agree with you. If the woman would prefer to work outside the home and the man would prefer to take care of the children, I don't see what difference it makes. Both jobs need to be done do it shouldn't matter who does them. Our situation here is a little different but also a little bit the same. I'm not going to get into the whole explanation why but my s/o and I live separately. I stay home with the baby all of the time. He works 12 hour shifts so he gets a total of 14 days off out of each month. On the days he's off he has the older two boys with him. Sometimes I go visit, but more often than not I let him do it on his own as a reminder that being a stay at home parent is work too.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 07
You go girl! I hope things work out for the two of you so that you are aboe to spend more time together!
@elisa812 (3031)
• United States
17 Apr 07
That's a really good point!! A lot of people really do seem to think that way. I personally would love to be a housewife, but that's because I love cooking and cleaning and laundry and all that sort of stuff (I may be a rare breed, haha), so I would be really happy having that as my full time job and just taking care of the house and my family all day. I definitely don't have anything against men who stay at home though, as long as they're doing something. I know one guy who stays at home, but it's just because he doesn't want to work and he just plays video games all day and doesn't take care of the house or anything, so that I have a problem with. I think it's ok though for either spouse to stay at home as long as they are both happy with the arrangement and whoever is at home is still doing their fair share. :)
3 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 07
I love to cook but I hate doing dishes and laundry and dusting and... I could go on and on. I would love to have someone else do all that!
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
18 Apr 07
When my hubby was discharged from the Marines we made the decision that he would stay home for awhile and spend time with the kids, my middle child had just been born, and I couldn't believe the looks I got when I said he was going to be a stay at home dad for awhile. People automatically assumed he was lazy, or less than a man, they didn't realize he wanted to stay home and enjoy his family before jumping right back into "normal" life. Personally, I enjoyed having him home. It made my work schedule more flexible and I knew the kids were well taken care of and in the case of my oldest, she had a chance to get reaquainted with her step dad. It's the best thing we could've done at the time.
• United States
24 Apr 07
Sounds wonderful for both of you! Thanks for the response!
• United States
18 Apr 07
It would be nice if people weren't so judgmental. There is nothing wrong with a man staying home if that's what is best for all involved. It's that family's decision to make, no one else's. My husband got laid off one time and we had this situation. He didn't really like being Mr. Mom and felt funny not working. I'm sure some of it was because of how others reacted. When he went back to work, I continued working too because we needed the money, but he worked days and I worked nights, so in effect, we both stayed home while the other one worked. It doesn't leave much time to spend together, but it was a good temporary fix. We knew our kids were always with one of us and we didn't have to pay for childcare. Good topic.
• United States
24 Apr 07
YOu're right that is a good temporary fix. I hope you didn't have to do it for very long!
@LadyFenix (110)
• United States
17 Apr 07
there are many of those double standards if it's something the couple has agreed to do and it works for them all power to them and they shouldn't give a poopie noodle what anyone else thinks I personally wouldn't like to stay home all the time granted I do like being home but I get bored very quickly and there is only so many ways to re-arrange the house before you start wanting to knock down walls I wouldn't mind working just 3 to 4 days a week and have enough to tell my bf to stay home I know he would love that he's a home body he would love to call me his suga mama and have it be true and so would I frankly sounds fun to be able to give someone you love the one thing they have wanted their whole life
• United States
24 Apr 07
YOu couldn't have said it better! (especially the "poopie noodle" part -- I liked that) I go absolutly NUTSO if I have to stay home all the time. But I do know that there are people who really like it. Men included. I just don't happen to be one of them!
• Malaysia
17 Apr 07
actually, in my opinion... people seems to misunderstood that when a man made his woman stay home.. he's trying to show to his woman that's he's the man or the breadwinner of the house.... this is not a discrimination.. firstly.. we as a male.. should take good care of female isn't it? we know working out would be a tough job.. and we just want to protect females from working hard.. that's why we keep them at home.. simply because we love them.. but i do see some male that misunderstood this concept.. and they think they're much better and stronger compared to female.. it's actually wrong.. it doesn't work this way... it's just all about love and caring.. women too.. shouldn't misunderstood the intention of man wanting to keep woman at home =)
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 07
Actually, that would be my very definition of discrimination. Any time one person is treated differently that another simply because of race or gender.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
17 Apr 07
The question you have asked.....hits on the same spot as a woman staying at home with no kids....while the man earns the living.I would say as long as both partners are okay with the way things are....than why should anybody have a problem with it and lable the person satying at home as lazy. I don't work outside the house and I don't have any kids....but that doesn't mean I get to be lazy all day.There is always laundry,dishes,bills to be paid,cooking to be done and the list just goes on and on. Not to mention that it is a 7 days a week commitment and you never get to just take the day off. If I wanted a career....I would gladly let my man stay home and take care of all the things I take care of now.....so I don't have to worry about them when I get home. So in my opinion it's just a old standard that we need to get over....after all we are living in the 20th century.
• United States
24 Apr 07
I agree with you, but people do. I have heard it over and over. I just don't understand it. I guess there are a lot of things that I "just don't understand" LOL
@byfaithonly (10715)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I think this totally depends on the couple and needs to be worked out between themselves but particularly if there are children I think it is best if one of the parents, husband or wife, stay home with the children... Personally I know some men who are much better at keeping house, cooking, caring for children and dealing with the five million other thinks involved in a career in the house than some women. I however have greatly enjoyed the times of my life when I could stay home and care for my home and family - have never had a desire for a great career and love 'nesting'.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 07
I couldn't agree more! I would just LOVE it if I had a "stay at home" man!!
• Canada
18 Apr 07
I completely agree if its something both partners want then go for it. I would definately rather work and have my hubby stay home and take care of everything. Maybe not forever but for a while at least
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
18 Apr 07
for us, nobody stay at home... both of us are working because we need the money... so we also share the household chores... each of us do our fair share... but we are happy this way...
2 people like this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I used to have neighbors like that. He stayed home with their little girl and she worked, he worked too, but at night. He cooked, he cleaned and I wished I had a man like that! LOL Actually, I loved it when I was home. When I was unemployed last year, I wished it would last forever.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 07
I hear you! LOL! Is there a store someplace where you can order one? LOL!
• Italy
17 Apr 07
I think a nice, equilibrated, lovely, healthy and wealthy family should have both partners with a job. I'm tired of these stereotypes that want the woman cooking, cleaning and raising the kids, and the man working his behind off at work. They both need to work, in my opinion.
• United States
24 Apr 07
But what if it is actually more financially equtable if one partner stays home? Why can't it be the man instead of the woman?
• United States
18 Apr 07
I go to school, volunteer, and I work as much as I can. I cannot stay home too long or else I go insane.
1 person likes this
@mesmes (21)
• Indonesia
18 Apr 07
my opinion that everybody must happy,enjoy and love each other. Give choice for your husband or wife.If like stay home so stay home like work so go work.
• India
18 Apr 07
I don't stay at home. However for the past couple of months since am not well i have taken off from work and stay at home. Its quiet nice to be at home but sometimes i do get bored. But theres a lot of house hold chores to be looked into when i am at home but if i goto office all these work are pending and it comes and becomes huge during weekends not allowing me to relax on weekends too but that does not ahppen now
• China
18 Apr 07
I think it's ok for either of them to stay home. 'cause both of them are KEY members in the family. It depends what do you think, TO ME, I think it's more acceptable that the man goes outside to earn money, and the woman stays at home.
• United States
18 Apr 07
I don't think the woman being home is lucky. I would think the man would have to be a good helper for this. Most woman who do stay home live with slobs. They have to pick up the lazy mans clothes. Wash all of the dishes and wash all the clothes. Not to mention clean the house and cook all the food. By the time the man comes home her work is never done. I would never fall in this category as most woman do. I would never be a mans personal maid. Although if I chose to stay home it would be to work from home. I know a few woman who work outside the house. The man stays home with the kids. She has to come home and cook, clean and the rest. How could this be considered lucky to any woman. Now if the man were to do all that is required at during the home stay. This would be a good thing for the both of them. working together to run the home. Paying the bills and,to live good.
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
I agree in your opinion