down on your luck

United States
April 18, 2007 6:38pm CST
With the lack of employment opportunities here in my small town, my husband and I have had to cut back on quite a few things such as satellite tv and cell phones. This doesn't hurt me at all, I hardly need either to live. What does cause a great deal of pain is trying to explain to bill collectors daily and sometimes several times a day that I am trying to find a job and my husband is carrying the load with only his paycheck. I have had some very rude people say some very hateful things to me. It is really offensive to me since they do not know me. They seem to refuse to look at my track record and see that I always paid on time and usually paid extra each month until the date of my unemployment. I have asked them if they have ever been down on their luck and found themselves unemployed with little or no prospects. I have never gotten an answer to this question. Their attitude is, why didn't you save for a rainy day? Well, I did, but being unemployed for such a long period has used up that resource too. Today was one of those rock bottom days and i had to swallow my pride and call my brother to see if he could loan me some money. I hated doing this and was greatly embarrassed, but my back is to the wall and I had no other place to go. To be honest, it has been a very long time since I was in this situation and it just hurts not being able to help my husband with the bills. Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it? It is probably the hardest thing for me to do.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
I know what you mean. Here in winter, the utility bills are very high, so whatever it is that I save when I was employed seems to just go into the hydro company's pocket. Things were sunny and bright last summer and fall, but winter drains our pocket real bad. Now spring comes I just turn down the heater at night and rely on my blanket to keep warm.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 07
It seems to be the worse part of the circle of life doesn't it?
@Destiny007 (5820)
• United States
19 Apr 07
It was very hard for me and my wife to have to ask for help while I was trying to get my disability approved. I was used to taking care of myself and paying my own way, and had done so for a very long time. We went from having enough money to cover all of the bills to no income at all with the exception of food stamps. I had to go to my mom that I hadn't seen for a long time in order to even have a place to live. Fortunately she had an old house trailer that she was using for storage that we cleaned up and lived in for almost a year, then my wife talked to her mom and we got into an old house that she had. It took 18 months without any income until my disability came through and we could get back on our feet again. There were 2 years that I was covered under long term disability through my job, but it was only good for the two years, and it tok a total of nearly 4 to get the disabilty. Naturally, all of the bills fell behind during this time, including the child support payments and some other things. Nobody wanted to try and work things out, the Child Support Enforcement got really nasty and kept losing my paperwork so they wouldn't have to reduce my payments. I will be a little over 4 more years to pay that state theft off. So no, it wasn't easy to have to ask for help, and the creditors were and still are a bunch of idiots to try and deal with.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 07
I am sorry you have had this trouble. Like you I am use to taking care of myself and when circumstances didn't allow this, I had hoped for some understanding from people and got none. I am rooting for you!
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I absolutely detest asking my family for money & have been there more than once only to get turned down more than once LOL I only have 1 maybe 2 siblings I know I can turn to in times of need & one is just as broke as me LOL When those bill collectors call me & won't take "I'll get it to you when I've got it to give" for an answer I start messing w/ them & saying stuff like "well,since this seems so important to you if you loan me the money to pay this bill I'll be sure to pay you back" just crazy stuff like that LOL Here's hoping things start to turn around for your family-I'll be praying for your situation. +'s 2 U
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 07
I love that! May I use that on my callers? I have always been the one who helped my siblings, not leaned on them, so it was very hard. But once i was talking to my brother, he said, remember that time when I had nothing and you paid all of my bills? So, he did make me feel better.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
19 Apr 07
No, it is definitely not easy at all... and it saddens me to read of your situation. So much sadness in this world.. I hope things get better for you soon.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
19 Apr 07
Thanks..
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I have a really hard time asking for money, too. We finally have everything under control now, but when my husband first went back to day shift it was really hard for us. When he was working nights, he was home with the baby all day while I was at work so we didn't have to have childcare. When he went back to nights, we tried child care, but couldn't find anyone that we remotely liked that was reasonable. The base daycare is priced way too high to even consider. They don't do a part time schedule, and since I was just working part time, the cost would have been around $20/hour there! So I quit working, except 2 Saturdays a month. I've found some things to do online to make money to pick up some of the slack, and we've learned to live with less eating out, and eating more rice (and other cheap foods). I was always a coupon user, but now even I'm surprised at how much money I can save on groceries and baby supplies by watching sales and using coupons. Good luck on finding a job!
• United States
20 Apr 07
Pride is a hard pill to swallow. I hope your brother can help you out, please don't be like my family who when they are back or their feet forget to at least offer to pay it back.