What would you do if you thought your teenager was gay?

United States
April 21, 2007 6:52pm CST
My step-daughter is 16 and I sometimes wonder if she is. I have nothing against it but I think she has trouble dealing with her feelings. I would like to talk to her and maybe help her go through what's happening with her. But I don't know how to talk to her about it. How would you handle it? Should I say anything or wait til she comes to me if she does? Any thoughts????
2 people like this
3 responses
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
22 Apr 07
I would maybe ask her if anything has been bothering her. And just let here know that you are there for her if she ever needs someone to talk to. Myself I would accept my boys if one of them chose this lifestyle. It would be something that I would have to get used to becuase in all fairness every parent has certain dreams for their children. But the most important one trumps everything and that is to be happy and healthy.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
I also am thankful she is healthy but I know she is very unhappy most of the time. I will just let her know I'm always here for her. I hope she finds her way in life and becomes happy with who she is. Thanks
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
22 Apr 07
I really don't know how I would personally handle it because it's something you don't know for sure how you'd act until you're in the situation. I do know though that I wouldn't have a problem as they are my children and I will love them no matter what. I would though refrain from bringing up the subject until she does. You may actually cause bad feelings (16yr olds being super emotional) if she really isn't gay and you told her you think she is. I would wait for her to open up before you address her personal choices. But, you could make casual comments here and there around her about maybe something you saw on TV about a young girl was afraid to tell her parents she was gay. Just mention how you would hope that your kids are never afraid to discuss things like that, blah, blah. That way, you're letting her know it's okay without directly pointing at her. Best of luck to you!
• United States
22 Apr 07
Thank you so much for your help. I know she is super emotional about everything else I know she would be about this. I hope she knows I will always love her no matter what she does in life.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
22 Apr 07
I believe it gives great intuition about your parenting skills if you are noticing chages in your step-daughter. I am sorry that she appears to be unhappy alot. Let's face it....16 is a very difficult age for everybody...I guess that I would let her know that she is important to you and that you are always available to talk to her about any subject without being judgemental. Does she bring her friends home? Talk on the phone all the time, socialize with her peers? I guess what I am asking is ..... could this be a depression issue? ...is she having difficulty coping with the stress in her life?? Wishing you and her all the luck in the world as you work through this situation. Blessed be!
• United States
22 Apr 07
I failed to say that I would not try to condemn my child for being gay or anything else...I think as a parent I am supposed to be supportive in whatever they choose to do as long as it is not self-destructive; then I feel I should try to intervene. I feel like I should also say that I am a open minded person and I do not feel like I have the right to judge someone else....and that includes my children.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Thank you very much. She can't really talk to her Mom because all her mom does is give her things to make her leave her alone. I think she is also depressed but she has a hard time talking about her feelings. I mean I'm her 2nd step-mom my husband has been married 3 times including to me. And she was her mom's only child for 14 years until her mom had a baby with her long time boyfriend who doesn't get along well with my step-daughter. I just wish I knew how to help her and make her feel better. She also is very overweight as am I so I have a hard time helping her wth her food choices. Sorry to ramble just worried about her is all. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 07
What a blessing youmust be...it sounds like she has had a rough start in life. I truly believe that you are trying to help this young girl.....and I am so sorry that her mother is wasting the chance to play an active & poitive rrole with her daughter's life. Again I say that this is an extremely difficult age....just continue to encourage her and show her that you are supportive. I forsee your relationship becoming better and better......you have all of the right desire for this to be true and that is 1/2 the battle. Both you and her will be in my thoughts and prayers.....I have invited you to join my friends list and hope that you will keep me updated to what happens.....I am concerned for you and her. Blessed be, my friend.
1 person likes this