Telling your lover that you no longer love them.
April 22, 2007 9:19am CST
Is there really an easy way to break up with someone? I think it all depends on where the relationship is right now that will either make it hard to do or easy. For me, I found it very easy to do. I was involved in a very unhealthy relationship for almost six years. When I knew that it was over was the day that I woke up and said "I just don't love him anymore." It was his fault because of all the jealousy and accusations that I put up with from him. He would accuse me of sleeping with anyone under the sun who had a name. His accusations even led to him denying our two beautiful children. How can you continue to love someone like that who constantly hurts you on a daily basis? I found it impossible to do. Many times we fall deeper in love with our partners whenever a child is born, but that was definitely not the case for me. I started falling out of love with him during the birth of our first child. The moment the doctor pulled her out and held her up, he backed away and immediately said it was not his baby. Everyone in the room was looking at him as though he had lost his mind. He got on the phone with his mom right in front of me and told her the same thing. Of cours, she made a trip down to the hospital to take a look for herself and told him right in front of me that it was his baby because she looked just like him and his middle child from a previous marriage. That type of hurt will never go away because it involved my child whom I don't ever want to be hurt. I stayed with him for stupid reasons of listening to him apologize to me, but my love for him was never the same after that. What really hurt was me knowing that I had never cheated on him, but because of his insecurities he made a happy day into a nightmare that I will never forget. With our second child he told me that I should get an abortion because it was not his baby. I still stayed with him for the sake of now having two children from him. One day I woke up with some sense. I realized that I had to be happy so that I can make my babies happy. That's what gave me the strength to leave him. Falling out of love with him was the very best thing to ever happen to me and I have him to thank for it. Once I told him that I no longer loved him or wanted to be with him I felt my soul cry with tears of joy. I was finally free!!! Of course, he tried to sweet talk me into staying, but I had become deaf to anything that he had to say to me. I turned off all feelings I had for him and left. It feels good to be happy now!
22 Apr 07
Oh, sorry about all you had gone through in the hands of your husband. How much he erroneously distrusted you! I am happy for you that you finally took the decision to leave him. Yours was a relatively easy case because the man was a chronic fouler of his marriage vows. He must have seen it coming, and was thus not caught off balance. He won't call you heartless or read any wrong meanings to your leaving. He has himself to blame for being hurtful to your feelings on such a deadly scale and recurrence. With some couples, such a declaration of cessation of love is more complex, particularly if the man is not obviously at fault or if the fault is not his. In a situation when the partner is deeply loving and shows it well, but the spouse has a cause to leave for a very strong reason best known to the latter, it won't be that simple. Once more, congrats! I wish your children and yourself better happiness.