How would you deal with doubt on your spouse?

@ajaleelp (131)
India
April 22, 2007 12:32pm CST
Its been a long and happy married life with him and you are enjoying your life with your children and man.Its then you start getting this strange feeling of doubt of whether he is involved in something fisy.What would you do? Ask him on the face? Just let it slip by and think its better never to know? Enquire secretly and try to find out the truth about it? Which approach is the best and why?
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
23 Apr 07
Well heres my take after reading the last post up there. What man in his right mind is just gonna come out and admitt cheating when you just ask him? My husband and i have a great marriage but at times we have had our downfalls and i felt like we were losing our love for each other. These are the times when i would get insecure and suspicious. Of course i brought it up but its not like the guy would be like "oh yeah, i forgot to tell you". I just got sneaky. checking emails, cell phone billsand watching him closely. didnt let him know this stuff though because then i'd look crazy! Turns out everything was fine. if you have serious doubt, dig a little deeper, but be descreet.
• United States
23 Apr 07
I don't expect him to casually say, "sure, I'm cheating," but I know my husband well enough to know if he was lying or keeping something from me.
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
23 Apr 07
yes, thats so true, if you have been together along time, you will feel it if something is wrong or out of place. this means you really know him and love is very true.
1 person likes this
@gemini1960 (1162)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
If ive got doubts on my partner, i will surely ask her and if im not contented with the answer ill try to find out it out through hiring some people who can give me the answer then.
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
You're right! I may hire someone to catch him in his act. Hey, have you seen "Cheaters" in Reality Zone. This is a reality TV show that actually does the detective stuff to catch if the partner is cheating. All the stuff that the cheater does gets to be televised and the confrontations too. I love to watch this show and see the cheaters get busted in the act. This is a great way to let the world know what a rotten person a cheater is.
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
I would make sure first that what I am doubting about is accurate before I jump into conclusions because most husbands are discouraged when their wives are doubting them ( even if there is something to be doubtful about). They tend to think that wives are naggers that are always jealous and surveying for possible cheating symptoms. I am also a wife myself so it is very difficult to confront the husband because they might fall into accusations rather than doubts. I may get to be little sneaky and make sure that my husband is not cheating.. This may be a waste of time, tracking the husband down, but it will be worth all my effort if I get to prove that he is cheating rather than just staying around and be blinded.
• United States
22 Apr 07
It would take a lot to make me doubt my husband, but if I really believed there was a problem, I would confront him. I could never ignore an affair or even potential cheating (an "emotional affair"). Our relationship has always been based on friendship, mutual respect, genuine love, and trust. I believe I would know if any of these were missing, and I would confront him straight out and ask him. I am a straightforward person and confrontation doesn't work for everyone. However, I think sneaking around or living with doubt is damaging to your self-esteem. I would suggest the confrontation be as calm as possible. Instead of simply accusing him of cheating, one might describe the reasons for the doubts.