What would you do if.....?

My dear bhai - this is the classic love story - man and woman fall in love - but family disapproves. Such a misfortune! Problem is that if you go against the wishes of the parents - then all your lives will be suffering - for when you marry someone - it is not just that person - it is the whole family. If the family turns their back on the couple - they have no support system to fall back on. The suffering will be great and the strain on the marriage too much for any one to bear. I wish it were not so, but this can be the case. What a sadness - for love and the hurt that goes from turning from that love can last a life time.

practicality-wise, the parents do have a point. they work hard, strive hard to feed and educate their children only to find out they ended up on someone who can not afford a living. i would feel the same if I were the parents. and if i were the guy, i would find ways to prove to them that i can take good care of their daughter. i would give them assurance that their daughter is in good hands.

Well I don't agree that it is diferent for girls. I have situation that I will never meet my boyfriend's parents, because he already had family and I don't feel like his parents need to get to know or meet me. I am not going to build new perfect family like they would expect. I had friend who is not welcomed in his gf family just because previous guy was their family friend and nothing is wrong with my friend. I think most imporatnt thing is that they see that you make that girl or guy happy. You don't always need relationship with her or his parents if you are happy togeather.

Unfortunately it is really up to the couple to decide whether they will allow their parents to dictate their choice of a partner. I guess that for certain cultures it may be far easier to do so because it is socially acceptable for one to choose one's own partner even if the parents should object to one's choice. Personally, I would be the one deciding on whether I wish to be with a particular person. I would consider my parents' feelings with regard to my choice of partner. However, they have to accept that ultimately, I make the final decision and not them.

I can not agree with you to some extent.of course,my parents all like my boyfriend,they wish us a bright future.if my parents do not like him,i think I will not follow them easily,I will try my best to let them understand him,to see his goodness,of course i will not avoid them from seeing his weakness.I think now that I like him,there are some virtues attrct me,and so ,my parents will be attracted.

nowadays i think most parents are quite respectful with their children's choices. but then again, if such an issue do arise, i guess the person that the parents don't like should try to change it somehow? if the person really wants to be with the parent's son/daughter, then they should be willing to make a few changes?

It really is a very difficult situation to be in, telling from my own experience. My family specially my mother disapproved of my partner before. She thought he was too young and she doubted his capacity to support me financially when we get married. It was hard on his part but he did not stop seeing me, did not stop proving to my family that he is not the man they think he is. It took him more than a year to gradually convince my family, with my constant support of course. I was behind him all the time and that was important. If love is true, it can conquer all.