You're in BIG trouble!!!
@eslproofreader (517)
United States
April 23, 2007 5:25pm CST
Don't you hate being an adult and still often feeling that something you've done, which, in reality, is nothing offensive at all will get you into 'big trouble'? I'm talking, smoking a cigarette that your spouse will later scold you for, not going along with your mother's plans and expectations, not meeting a friend's demands? When do we get to grow up? When do we learn not to need everyone's acceptance? How do we reach adulthood yet still get that 'gonna pee your pants' panic that we got when sent to the principle's office when it comes to expectations within our personal lives?
3 people like this
3 responses
@96vidalias (344)
• United States
26 Apr 07
This is another deep psychological problem. "I'm sort of OK, you're OK." If you grow up being criticized, then you aren't comfortable unless you are hearing it, even if just from within.
In a photography class, we were having a critique, and the teacher was (I thought) highly critical of one person's work. She responded, "Well, *I* like it. But it's OK that you don't." I admired that a great deal, and have often wished I could let things roll off me like that. It really was OK with her. But I do NOT take criticism well.
1 person likes this
@eslproofreader (517)
• United States
26 Apr 07
As always, my sage, you have wonderful insight. Some of us are so used to criticism and submission that we continue to let it rule us. Someone that I care absolutely nothing about could criticize me, and I'd beat myself up over it (all the while trying to convince myself that all that I was feeling is disapproval of the critical person). Like you, I don't like criticism- or confrontation, or conflict. If I could just grow up emotionally, I might outgrow fear and intimidation.
1 person likes this
@96vidalias (344)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I seem to have insight into a lot of things that I still can't improve.
Actually, this trait does have a positive side. You are critical of yourself because you really do want to do what is right, so you are constantly monitoring your actions and even your thoughts. The really confident people always know that they are right, but we know they are often wrong.
@gifana (4833)
• Portugal
25 Apr 07
Fortunately I haven't had to cope with the situations you have posed here. I feel that we grow up and take full responsibility for our actions and reactions. As an adult I do not have to be dependent on the expectations of others as long as I meet my own standards. We learn not to need others' acceptance when we have confidence in ourselves that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and those for whom we are responsible (husband/wife and children). When we can live for ourselves without jeopardizing the well being of our family and friends that we love...then we have made it. Have a nice day! +
@habichuelo (3100)
• United States
28 Apr 07
well!, you're right,,so damn right,,
and you know what???,,,its you,,,yes you,,so what!,,
now,lets be adults,,you're right!,no more little secrets...
@eslproofreader (517)
• United States
28 Apr 07
huh???? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
1 person likes this
