Seeing things clearly- oops, you're not the one for me!
@eslproofreader (517)
United States
April 23, 2007 5:29pm CST
Have you ever thrown yourself into a relationship b/c you were on the rebound, isolated, disappointed? Then later when your senses return to you, you're repulsed by your choice- and he or she refuses to let go? I guess not all, but many of those that take on a broken spirit are kind of control freaks. People who want to fix you first, then mold you to fit their needs. You run, but they just cling. Either they pity or idealize you or feel that they are owed something. Know anyone like this?
2 people like this
4 responses
@breezie (1246)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I have done that before. My boyfriend and I had broken up and were kind of seeing each other again until I found out he was seeing someone else as well. I got mad and started seeing his friend who had liked me for ages, but I never realy tought of him the same way. I know it was mean , but I only started seeing him to teach my ex a lesson (and it worked). After awhile I came to my senses, realized what I was doing and was kind of repulsed. I tried to get rid of him, but he just wouldn't leave me alone. No matter what I did he kept coming by my parents house and calling me. He kept telling me he was in love with me. No matter what I said or did he wouldn't take a hint. Finally when my ex and I got back together again he finally backed off.
1 person likes this
@eslproofreader (517)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Now that's what I'm talking about! A deluded psycho who just doesn't get it. No matter what you say, no matter how clear you make yourself, they must hear "I LOVE YOU, FIGHT FOR ME!". So many freaks among us, Breezie!
1 person likes this
@eslproofreader (517)
• United States
23 Apr 07
Yikes! Why are people such damned freaks?
1 person likes this
@96vidalias (344)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I tried to respond to this last night and after the page pretended to be loading for an hour, I gave up on it. And yet, my response is not any better for having had a day to think about it. I should have been applying myself to the problem.
In analyzing myself, I have found that I kind of prefer that I be the one who cares more. Either because I am afraid of being trapped in a relationship, or I don't respect a person who would want me. Or I just crave rejection.
I had one very lucky escape with a blind date I was fixed up with. He kept repeating things I said, and I wouldn't say he had no sense of humor because when I explained a joke he would chuckle. At the end of the evening, I agreed to go out again because I couldn't think of a good way to bring it to an end. But I really wanted to get out of it.
Then he called me to read a poem he had written for me, and was practically ready to pick out furniture together. When I told him I didn't feel that way, he got huffy and called off our date. He called back and started up again, but I eased out as well as I could manage. I felt extremely lucky to get out of what seemed like a stalking in the making. Whew!!
I have another example which is not exactly what you were talking about, either. A friend of mine wanted to be rid of her significant other and was sort of planning how to get rid of him. Then he told her he was moving out and she was devastated. She wanted to be free of him, and yet she wanted to be the one who wanted out.
@eslproofreader (517)
• United States
26 Apr 07
So, we're all messed up... People build these expectations then crash when they're not fulfilled- well, and sometimes act psychotic because of it (or maybe, genuinely, ARE psychotic). I cannot imagine feeling so rejected with a new romantic interest that I would lower myself to 'getting huffy' over it. Anyone who's too interested from the get-go is a control-freak homicidal maniac waiting to happen, in my humble opinion. I have enough trouble trusting people to make on-line friends; I can't imagine what it's like out there in the dating world. Get a dog! And btw, I loved the bit about your friend. Typical human behavior!
1 person likes this
@96vidalias (344)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Yes! I had known this guy for a few hours and he was acting like he would never get over me. I felt so lucky that I only had to go through a few more phone calls before he moved on. I assume he found someone who wanted a stalker/stalkee relationship.
BTW my mother was critical that I wore jeans and a flannel shirt for our date. Imagine what might have happened if I had worn a nice dress, as she wanted.
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
25 Apr 07
oh if I have decide to share my broken heart, you would discover that the man who broke it is just one of the guys you are talking about...one of those man who pretends to me careful and gentle, who promises to keep good care of you but in fact they are completely different from the man they pretend to be and above all they need help first and more than the one they can ever give to you...he was just a poor, silly, simple man ..one of those mean people I would have never got into contact..if only I had known he was that sort of man...I hate that sort of men who act like best actors and can break your heart because you are left with nothing of what you loved
