"How are you feeling?"

United States
April 24, 2007 11:19am CST
I have been asked, "How are you feeling?" a lot lately. Ihave had a bad car accident, a stroke, fribromayaliga and kidney failure. I have 3 answers: Good, Great and Wonderful! Here is how I decipher it: Good means thinking about changing the sheets. Great means making the bed and Wonderful means moving the room around. Good means dreaming about taking a walk, Great means planning a trip and Wonderful means going on a trip. Good means, "What is for dinner?" Great means making dinner Wonderful means going out for dinner One of the lessons in life that I have learned is you affect those around you. If you tell them a sad tale, they go away feeling sorry for you. If you tell them a happy story, they leave smiling. Now, don't get me wrong, family and friends really care about how I am. I try to tell them only when I feel they need to know and I need help. But otherwise , I give out a positive attitude and hope for one in return. For years I took care of my mother. She took to her bed for over 12 years by giving up and deciding never to get out. I met her every need for 12 years. But everytime I left her room, I would say to myself, "What is going on in her head that she prefers to eat, sleep and live in bed?" She had been told many times from her doctors she could get up and walk. I was her cheerleader and supporter. I told her she could do it; she didn't want to. She preferred to stay there. The lesson she taught my family is NEVER give up. Life is waiting to happen. Whatever happens, you will be able to face it and turn it around in your favor. You do affect the people around you; you can make a smile or a heartbreak. You can make friends go home and start to feel better themselves. You can teach them to get on with their lives by blooming where they are planted. You can show your family that failures and mistakes are a stepping stones, not a boulder on their shoulder. You can turn sadness into to soaring sprits. The way to do this is to get out of bed, get in the sun and realize that you are a growing plant in the garden of life. Your special look is adding to the Glory of the Garden. We are all beautiful and give, to all that see us, hope. Hope to achieve and succeed. By the way, I feel Wonderful !!!!
8 people like this
15 responses
@youdontsay (3503)
• United States
25 Apr 07
That eternal question, "How are you?" is pretty much punctuation to most folks. They don't even care to hear an answer. They expect "Fine, thanks. And how are you?" For years I'd automatically say "Fine." But I usually wasn't fine. My life was a shambles and I was a mess. But I'd be polite and say "Fine." I said something about that to a counselor and they said I should try saying "As well as can be expected under the circumstances." Then if they were really interested they'd ask for more information about the circumstances. Now I respond with "I'm good!" no matter how I feel physically or emotionally because I know that I am a good person and I can be honest when I say I'm good. I don't think they really want to know anyway. If it is someone who knows I have chronic illness and who cares about my answer I will say, "I have good days and not so good days. Today is a ______ day." But only if it is someone who truly cares about me. I seldom complain, seldom volunteer information about how I'm feeling unless I'm specifically asked by my mate or someone who wants to know if I'm up to doing something that day. I had a grandmother who took to her bed with no known illness. In retrospect I wonder if she may have had Fibro and Chronic Fatigue or perhaps was clinically depressed. Back then those diagnoses were not known to most family doctors. I feel sad that she didn't have the help available to her that is available today. I'd have liked to have known her. She had a hard life, I've since learned, and she could have taught me a lot. She was pregnant and married at 15. When she was married she couldn't even reach the kitchen cabinets and my grandfather built a box for her to stand on. She had four children die and four survived into adulthood. Her husband was in a TB sanitarium for a time. In those days that had to be kept secret or people wouldn't have anything to do with you. Her husband kept a mistress that everyone knew about. When they moved from one state to another he moved the mistress before he moved his family, kept her in a house within walking distance of the family home. I learned all these stories from my mother many years later. But we know next to nothing about my grandmother's family. Apparently she was estranged from them. I guess what I learned from her example was that it doesn't help to "take to your bed." And that we never know what makes other people do what they do, choose what they choose. I wonder if she would have made different choices if she had the rights and resources available to women today.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
24 Apr 07
This is a beautiful post you opened here carolee, and there are beautiful things that you said here. The most appealing thing that you said here is that you made your choice. You could have easily given up and see the half empty cup, but you choose differently. I know that when i read your post i did think that it is not about other people and what they are thinking about you. sorry or not sorry. It is all about you, how you see the world, and how you see and treat yourself in this wonderful world. I do believe that you see the wonderful things that inside of you, and that you know that when you will say that you feel great to other people as a response, you know you will believe in the words you say. You know it helps you believe in those things. It is very clear that once you feel that way, other people will also see you that way. I am glad you shared this post with us and yes we are beautiful, arn't we. :)
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
25 Apr 07
Thank you for this BR carolee:)
@neerajm (111)
• India
25 Apr 07
I am feeling wonderful first that all my family members are in healthy and in good condition.Secondly i feel great because all my dreams are coming true,my son got admission in a reputed school,i had booked a big house for our family and due to the grace of god there is no interuption in life, life is going on smoothly.
2 people like this
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
This is really a touching post. People like you are big inspiration for people who are presently ill and for those who are hopeless in life. Life is what we make out of it. Even if we're in a middle of crisis it still depends on our outlook in life to rise above it or just be sorry for ourselves. Thank you because you feel wonderful and it makes me feel the same way.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
24 Apr 07
Yeah I try to be the same way with having multiple sclrosis. I get up and think I need to get up it's a new day. I also think positive things thinking and talking negitive only makes things worser for yourself and everyone else around you. I am glad to here you feel Wonderful. I feel great today myself :)
• United States
24 Apr 07
So glad you are feeling wonderful :) I'm tired today and my grandpa is very ill. Plus, I get to work late tonight (But I don't dread going to work). I'm glad to be alive though and glad to have such a wonderful family and a great group of friends. I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. Love your post because it definitely puts in perspective how we really feel when we say we feel 'good, great, or wonderful.'
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Hey I am so glad that you feel wonderful. As of right now I have lost my voice over the weekend. I feel fine except my voice. I have suffered 31 mini stroke a couple of years ago and doing good and got my life back in order now its my voice. Have a great day.
2 people like this
@mickidmw (992)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I love your writings Carolee! Absolutely beautiful!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
Wow thats very very positive attitude. Being positive to the things that was happened to us. We always stay positive so that we will do self pity. Being positive is the only key to accept everything thats may cost onto us. Remember that EVERYTHINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON ok. It doesn't matter how many times we fall on the ground but it only matters how many times we get up from the ground to start another beginning of our endeavors.
• Canada
25 Apr 07
ahahahahhaahhah i feel funny rite now . hoe bout u sunny tang?
1 person likes this
• China
25 Apr 07
i'm truly agree with you, i just have the same feeling as you. my mum is a disabled person, she just can't move naturely as a normal person, but she never show her weakness to others, she told me we'd learn to grow and be strong. i've learned lots from her, i'm really appreciate and admire her, for her spirit give me strength to face the difficulties thant i meet in life!
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 07
i feel so wonderful today...even a little bit tired but i am glade to past this day with love from people around me, especially from my wife.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
thank you so much for sharing.. i guess im gonna have to express myself in a manner where most people will feel great and will be happy to ask how am i.
@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I'm glad you're feeling wonderful. I would rather be up out of bed and in the sun too.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
25 Apr 07
Hello,caroleekaufold,I always think being positive is very important in our life,no matter what happen, if we are thinking positively, we will be able to get over it as we will not give up in the hard time.It is even more important if you are fighting against diseases,may be positive thinking is a medicine for some incredible recovery of some patients. We have to move on no matter how we think, so we should think postively and we will feel much better. Thank you for your discussion.