How to be honest without being harsh...
April 24, 2007 7:21pm CST
Remember that honesty is the basis of any relationship, whether with a friend or a significant other. Honesty gives rise to trust, which is absolutely essential. Lying to your friend can ruin a relationship almost instantly, if the lie is significant. Consider the person with whom you must be honest. If he or she is shy or sensitive, then don't be brash and to the point. If it is a close friend with whom you can tell anything, then inform your friend accordingly. Adapt to your friend's personality and convey the necessary message properly. Recognize some potential situations where the truth is necessary, but where a white lie might not be reasonable. The "Am I fat?" question. If your friend is being self-conscious, and is only a little bit on the big side, then reinforce that belief. Don't say "You're not that fat", as this comes off as sarcastic. Rather, use a comparative note. Consider, "You are not fat — trust me! There are a ton of people out there that are much bigger than you". The "Am I ugly?" question. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is subjective! Everyone has different areas of beauty — it's important to stress these areas. Your friend might not have the most beautiful body, but he or she may have gorgeous eyes, or a smile that stops traffic. Make this clear to your friend/significant other! Your friend wants to break up with his or her significant other. It's important to stress your opinion, but only if it's relevant. If you simply do not like your friend's boyfriend, then don't persuade your friend to do so. If your friend's boyfriend is abusive, then convince your friend to break up on the grounds that you might get hurt. Have you ever had to lie to your friend over something like this? Did they buy it or did they get angry at you?