Share this, it just might save a marriage.

@Anniedup (3651)
Richards Bay, South Africa
April 26, 2007 4:22am CST
I received this in my mailbox this morning, I don't usually copy and paste long and tearful stories but this has such a powerful and precious "lesson" I could not resist. Enjoy "When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. She had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore..I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart." Author unknown The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
15 people like this
41 responses
@sophylline (1041)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
Hi! This is such a nice and touching story. I like it. This one is worth spreading around especially for the married couple. I'm sure every marriage goes through a slump sometime in their married life and hopefully this will help and inspire and push them to make extra effort so as not to eventually totally lose that intimacy, that thing called relationship, that they might have taken for granted with their busy everyday life. Yes, it's a great lesson, finding time for your spouse, so easy to say but sometimes, with so many things to do we forget.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
It is a lovely story and anyone can learn a valuable lesson, not to take each other for granted. Thank you for sharing your view with me. xx
1 person likes this
@dbeast (1495)
• India
26 Apr 07
this story was really nice.some people dont understand that by spending a little time close to the one's we love and tell them how much they mean to us.even if we are not able to say it, small gestures are enough to keep a relationship close.thank you for the wonderful story buddy.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
28 Apr 07
It was only my pleasure, I can't believe how this touched alot of people, you must try and go back to the responses, some of them are heartbreaking thank you for your time much appreciated!
@dellion (6698)
• Malaysia
26 Apr 07
That's truly a touching story! I think it did telling some of the very important and life true story.The same story keep on happening everyday everywhere in our entire life just that how many sad marriage can be finally have this type of happy ending??The wife in story know the real meanings of loves to family,her kid and her husband and thus she keep all the sadness and bitterness for herself and the husband just need time to realized the true meanings of loves and luckily is not too late to wake up:)Nice sharing!!
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
Hello my good friend, yes she is a very thoughtful, and unselfish women, and putting her family first, I'm so glad you could find the time to respond to this very long discussion, thanks my friend, much appreciated, but you know that. Take care. xx
1 person likes this
@nana1944 (1365)
• United States
26 Apr 07
This was very touching. I was teary eyed when I read it. Sometimes we just lose touch with what we need to hold dear. Hang in the there and be friends with the one you cherish. Don't be afraid to touch the one you love. Life can indeed, get in the way of a marriage. Wow.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Apr 07
I'm so glad you liked it. There is a very valuable lesson to learn here, and you are so right when you say, life can get in the way of a good marriage, very prophetic words. Thank you for sharing your view with me. xx
@yanjiaren (9031)
26 Apr 07
Thanks so much, I never want to take my man fro granted, I keep thinking of all the little things he does for me. I cry when I think that he always kisses my nose all the way to the airport when I have to leave him. It's little things like drinking liver and anti aging tea together, the fun we had making those silly singing videos together, all of that. I can't forget a moment of it.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Apr 07
I'm glad you guys sorted things out my girl. And with a positive attitude like this, nothing can go wrong. Keep your faith in him. xx
• United States
26 Apr 07
This is a story that opens ones eyes. The everyday things of life can close our eyes to the most precious of things the love of one another. Always take time to do the little things to remind our loved one that we love him. That is one thing that should never be taken for granted.
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
The minute I've received it, and after I dried my tears, I thought this is truly something to share, thanks for reading it and please share with other loved ones. xx
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
26 Apr 07
so beautiful yet hard truth, we fail to connect so often with people who live with us on dailyu basis and we chase so many other dreams and just loose ourselves on the way. I still feel reality would have been different, hubby would have plainly refused to carry his wife out or girlfriend would not have allowed that at all still its a beautiful piece. I wish all marriages could have such thoughtful partners.
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
Yup on the "lite" side of life, my hubby would have sent me to the warm place indeed, but nevertheless, he will get a copy of this in his email that is for sure. Thanks for reading such a loooong post. I thought everybody was going to think I went cookoo:)
1 person likes this
@honeyangel (1991)
26 Apr 07
thats a sweet story thanx for sharing it
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
It is the sweetest story for me so far, so glad I could share it with you guys, and that you enjoyed it, honey. xx
1 person likes this
@minty3 (592)
• Nigeria
26 Apr 07
Oh dear, this is simply fantastic. I'm not married but i enjoyed reading this piece and i know i'll surely pass it on. thanks for sharing it.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
It is a wonderful story and a real tearjerker, almost like "Gone with the wind" and just as long! Thank you for responding to such a lengthy discussion:)
1 person likes this
@galatea (686)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
I wish my parent's read this before everything came apart. Thanks for sharing, it brought tears to my eyes. I believe that it's not only love that keeps a relationship intact for forever. There has to be dedication, respect, and compromise, among many other things. We have to learn to fall in love with the minutest details of our partners. We have to learn to accept each other's ugliest and darkest secrets for us to survive any storm. I hope, when my time comes to marry, that I will remember all of this.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
I know you will remember it, I am sure it is written in your heart, why don't you make a copy, print it and give it to your parents. Thank you for taking the time to respond, take care. xx
1 person likes this
• India
26 Apr 07
ya you are right sharing small things giving time to each other will always help to keep you together love will be your life....
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
The small things in life that we tend to, so easily miss or neglect, becomes huge problems and heartaches in our life's later on, so better we nurture them. Thank you for your time. xx
1 person likes this
• Hong Kong
26 Apr 07
A very nice story! I really enjoyed it so much. Yes we do take things for granted and I believe it's in human nature. If we don't do thing to keep the love flame going, it will soon die out. I think it's so sweet that finally the guy discovered what's the problem in their marriage before it's too late.
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
I think she was quite clever don't you, and that is when something finally hit home with the husband. Thank you for reading, and responding. xx
1 person likes this
@msjigga (864)
• United States
26 Apr 07
this is so inspiring i will share this. thanks
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
Oh good, I'm glad you found this inspiring. Thank you for reading such a long post, and for your response, much obliged
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
Its very touching story, hope it will help many people and married couples. Its such an inspiring story that many husband will not realize at all in their marriage. I hope someday it will help me when im in the same situation, (hope it will not happen).
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
Thank you sweetie, for taking the time to read such a long discussion, I'm glad you got something out of it. Much obliged
1 person likes this
@hartnsoul (558)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
After reading this story, I find myself on the verge of breaking down. It is such a timely read for something sa significant to me at the moment. My marriage. I sent this to my hubby in the hope that he will muster soem motivation to read such a long narrative. He doesn't like reading long stuff. But the story simply said everything there is to relay. We have not been in good terms for months now. Primarily because of his 'quiet' attitude that we have not been communicating about the 'lovers' side of our marriage. I feel that we have grown apart since the birth of our daughter where both of us had our world revolve around her. PErhaps we simply forgot that we were inlove with each other. I have tried communicating with him about this but I always get shrugged. I have been tested a number of times by guy friends who have expressed their intentions and knowing that my marriage is in trying times they somehow fill up the emptiness. I have been trying so hard to be strong for my daughter and keep my sanity. It has came to a point where my husband's slump led him to believe that I am also an enemy. I don't really know what to do anymore...
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
28 Apr 07
Oh don't make me cry sweetheart, since I've started tis post, that is all I've been doing. Please don't give up, do like the girl in the story did. Just remember love concurs all, but don't let this blind you. I can hear you are really trying, and if it keeps on falling on deaf ears, then you should try and get a third party in. I'm praying for you sweetheart, and if you don't believe in Him, believe in yourself and your little girl. Lots of love ((hugs)) and prayers Annie xx
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Thanks so much annie. We just had an argument again 2 hours ago and it really hurt me when he answered in an angry tone. But I am not losing hope. I even posted a discussion for advices as 'How STRONG should a wife be'. Just pray for me please. Best Regards.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 May 07
Thank you so much for sharing that story! It was really touching -- what a smart lady!
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
2 May 07
If she was a member on MyLot, she would definitely deserve a blue 10 star!! Thank you for spending your time reading this beautiful, touching story.
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
it's very nice. =) the beauty of a simple touch. thanks for posting it.
• India
26 Apr 07
Thank u posting this - it changed my life! it gave a different look at everything in my life. Iam someones "Dew" too so i just sent him this post. I hope it makes a difference in his marriage as well. It made a differnce in my life. Thank for sharing it :)
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
28 Apr 07
Oh God my sweetheart, you are giving me goosebumps. I am so glad you took this to heart, and you are worth soooo much more. To waist your time on someone like the person in the story is just not worth it. I am so glad, I posted this now more than ever! Thank you AnoChaudhary, nobody can ever build happiness on some else's tears, and unhappiness, it is not a good foundation. Thanks sweetie! xx
1 person likes this
• India
1 May 07
thank you again...for posting and choosing my response as the best...yes it is true that we cant build our happiness on someones tears and i also thought about what if i was the one who invested 10 years into a marrage just to find out it was taken for granted and i have to give it all up and walk away with a house n car... that really helped me make the decision...i have not heard from him yet so maybe it means he is actually trying to make things work. i do sincerely hope the mail made a difference in their life..So iam glad i made the decision and thank you again for sharing the post here...:)
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
26 Apr 07
The story is really very sweet & eye-opener.Really in marriage after a certain point, we tend to take everything for granted.We stop saying those lovely words,little things which makes the marriage happy.After a certain point marriage becomes boring & we tend to think that love is lost.Actually we become so much busy in gathering outside things that the inner thing gets lost.Nice story.I will try to keep that intimacy intact im my marriage.Thanks
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Apr 07
So true so very true, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and feel free to share it with whom ever you want. Thank you for your time and response
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 May 07
Sssiiigghh. I must admit I love your post my friend, but I got quite teary eyed too. Never mind that. :-P Thank you Annie. Great post! Love it! (^^,)
@Anniedup (3651)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
23 May 07
Yup I don't like to be so serious in life but this one I just could not resist! I myself walked around like a bullfrog after reading this!