Is this abuse

United States
October 21, 2006 8:12am CST
I've been in this relationship for 6 years now. The things I get yelled at for are ridiculous. Recently, he moved in with his father until he finds another place. I called the house and his father answered and he said he was sleeping. His father and I continued talking and was about me and his son possibly buying a house and us getting married, etc. My boyfriend came into the room and his dad asked him if he wanted to talk to me and he said "no" and went back to his room. Not a minute later I got a call coming in and just knew it was him. He started yelling at me and said " you just want to ruin this don't you" I said " what did I do now?" He said " I don't like the idea of you talking to my dad" Sooo, now I'm not allowed to speak to his father. Thursday he came to visit our 3 month old and he was watching the end of a hockey game and I made a comment that I thought both teams suck. He got mad and left. Later to call me and say " you just can't shut up and let me enjoy the game you just have to rub it in my face and put me down". Ok that's most recent. As for past, when I was pregnant, right after this past Valentine's Day... my ex husband stopped by to see if I had something of his. My boyfriend showed up, I told him to come in and instead he left. Then later left me all kinds of messages online saying that I cheated on him and called me some nasty names and accused me of sleeping around. His mad and arguing continued throughout the rest of my pregnancy up until 2 weeks before I had the baby. I went through 90% of the pregnancy alone. This isn't the worst of it there's more I just don't want to get too detailed. but, anymore I feel like I can't say anything or it might be wrong or cause an arguement. People tell me I have battered women's syndrome, but I've never been hit.
7 responses
• United States
22 Oct 06
Is he the father of your child? If so he should have definitely been there for you more. Sounds like he is being very childish. I can understand why he got mad that your ex husband was there, but there is no exuse why he wasn't there with you through your pregnancy. Sounds like he is being verbally abusive and neglecting you, no real man neglects his woman.
• United States
22 Oct 06
Yes he's the father. Thank you for your comment
• United States
21 Oct 06
it's verbal abuse and sometimes it can be worse than physical abuse. it's not you it's him. been there done that! nothing you can say or do can ever appease him. it's not a healthy relationship for you or the baby. eventhough your little one is very small they can still pick up on the mood changes. and eventhough they can't really understand words they can definately understnd the pitch and tone of peoples voices. in fact some child reasearches say that infants are more receptive to the sound of someone's voice than adults. this does not sound like a good situation for you and your little one. it really does sound like your boyfriend needs counceling. (i hope you don't find that offensive) it seems that he has some issues to work out (that have nothing to do with you) before he can have a healthy relationship. take it from someone who knows - it's him not you.
• United States
22 Oct 06
He was in counseling before but stopped going cuz he said he couldnt afford it or the medication. And no I'm not offended at all.
@Thara26 (399)
• United States
21 Oct 06
sounds like verbal abuse to me. noone deservs that. u should be respected and loved.
• United States
21 Oct 06
Thank you for your comment
• United States
21 Oct 06
He conditioning you, babe. The longer you listen the easier it will be for him to KNOW that he has the upper hand of your soul. Please don't give IT to him, it takes so long to get it back. Plus you have a child to think about, this could rub off on to her. You DON'T want this. He may be taking something out on you for something another woman did to him in the past, including possibly even his mother. Please don't think that you can fix him, the damage is done and you shouldn't be the end result of it. Prayers and blessings to you.
• United States
21 Oct 06
Thank you for your comment. And thank you for the prayers and blessings..I sure need em. I feel he's already taken so much of me that I don't know how to get it back. There are days I just feel so totally lost and empty. I just wish I could find me again. Here's to praying.
@toonatoons (3740)
• Philippines
21 Oct 06
to be labelled as a battered women doesn't require just physical abuse. you are being verbally abused, and the effect is the same thing.
• United States
21 Oct 06
Thank you both for your comments. I started this because I just didn't know what to think or to do.
• United States
22 Oct 06
yup..its an abuse..verbal abuse
• United States
21 Oct 06
It called verbal abuse. He might not hit you yet but he is abusing you with his words. He dont seems to be a good person from what I read, I would just leave him if you can go on with your life. Your baby dont need to be around the father like that. Im sure you want the best for your baby.