Betrayal

Philippines
May 1, 2007 9:01am CST
What would you do if someone you really love betrayed you? How will you treat him/her? Coz me, i can't look at him the same way again... everytime i see him everything keeps reiterating in my mind (as in over and over)! The events, the place and the people involve just rushes back in my mind. And even subconciously, its all there! How can you forget the day that the least person you expected would do such a horrible thing to hurt you? The pain that he gave you made you look so stupid and that everything you gave... the trust, the love and even your life are now worthless. Dealing with these pain im going through right now makes me ask myself if I was'nt good enough with everything i did, my worth as a woman, as a lover and as a friend. And that no matter how hard I cried about it, the pain just wont go away! If you guys were in my shoes? would you still beleive in every word he/ she will say? That even a simple yes or no would still matter? Being in a situation like this makes me feel that waking up everyday is a struggle to forget. The mere fact that my life changed after that painful experience. Gradually I changed as well... more irritable, more sensitive, and now impatient. Bad huh? well that's life I guess because unexpected things happens in the most unexpected times by unexpected people. Do you guys beleive that? I hope so...
2 people like this
5 responses
@mystery5 (351)
• India
5 May 07
I can understand that you don't want to go into the details publicly, but it would have helped to know what he did. If it was something like cheating on you - if it was long term - I think you should just dump him and never think of it again. If it was just a one-night stand and if he's been profusely apologising, I think maybe you can forgive him. If it wasn't either of these things also, I'd consider the long and short term concepts. If what he did was over a period of time, maybe like investing your money in his name or something, just never get back in touch with him again, and get yourself a better boyfriend - character-wise. Sometimes men lose their heads in temper and do something unpredictable, unreasonable and totally hurtful. If it is something like that, just let it be. Forgive him, with an ample explanation of how hurt you are. The most important of all - After betrayal, all men are bound to apologise. Women fall for it too, typically, regardless of whether it is true or not. I would suggest that you catch hold of a friend or relative that you know is a GOOD judge of character, and get him or her to meet this guy. Listen to what they have to say, and then decide whether you should continue your relationship. All the best, may God be with you.
• Philippines
5 May 07
mystery5, i wish that it would be easy for me to dump him if only i did not marry him... Coz you know i married my bestfriend! And this what makes me feel twice as bad than any other people who gone through betrayal as well. As friendhip as our foundation for the love we used to have and trust really goes along with it which is why right now i really can't get over with the reality that he can do such a thing to me. For I don't beleive in second chances, imagine the "gut" he had to hurt me the first time then what more if it's just the second time? What is it that i can give him more when i've given my all already? how to be true to him when i let him see thru me? what more?... though i gave him my heart, body and soul the day i said "i do"? Now, what is left of me? I can forgive him, it's true but never can make me see how to love him like the way i used to.And sometimes when i feel like doing one step forward towards him, i will suddenly see reasons why i should not, and made me do two steps back!I couldn't find where to draw my love from...for my heart is so empty, drained and very much wounded! But you know, i may not know you and personally but i thank you for your comment. And i wish you all the best too!May this be the start of our friendship.
@Impervious (1154)
• United States
1 May 07
Sounds like he cheated, That sucks. I know. The question at this point is how much that realtionship means to you. And whether this is a first offense or not. Now some say once a cheater alwats a cheater. And I admit I cheated on my ex but now I am married and could never. I value my relationship with my wife too much. Just so you know if I did call this correctly which I believe that I did. It is not because of any lack on your behalf.
• Philippines
1 May 07
Well, Impervous i will not go to the details of what really happened but the relationship was not just all about partnership as lovers... when everything we started was from friendship. Our love started from being friends... so trust is really there... we both earned it. And that is why this is such a big deal to me. The pain is so intense that even upto this very moment tears rushing down from my eyes. How am i suppose to love him back again when trust is gone? I forgive him already but i cannot forget. I just want a new life even without him...
2 people like this
• United States
1 May 07
They say that pain is fear leaving the body. But then you know what you have to do. Take some time, realize that It was not you but selfishnesss on his part and you know there are few cliche's that I believe in but I definitely think that living well is the best revenge. Good luck
• Australia
21 May 07
Hello Gemini0611 I knew exactly how you feel, it happen to me several years ago. But I really that if I give second changes to him then he will be a better person. And He is a better person now. I still love him and still care with him. And I love him more now. Forgiveness is the best way to release your pain. You can learn from that case, make you more mature. God bless you. *angel www.beautycosmetictips.com
• Philippines
21 May 07
It's good to know that you are such a forgiving person and how i wish i am like you though i have accepted the fact that it could happen to me and him and to anybody as well. And step by step, little by little i am learning that uncertain things like that happen to people to become a better person...wiser! And this what makes me more cautious now more than ever. But i can never love my guy the way i used to since my love for him started from friendship and from the trust i used to have for him. I still love him though, but i cannot love him the way i used to since its from trust where i draw my love from and since i gave my all i don't know what to give more when all is left for me is pain and the memory of once in his life he betrayed me! I am glad little_angel that you are a person whom i can look at, to be an example if ever i am very much ready to forgive totally. But we'll see... Thanks!
@jeanbug23 (567)
• Philippines
3 May 07
I have been betrayed many times by friends. It really hurts and surprisingly made me annoyed because I am an honest and loyal friend, but it has not been reciprocated by these people who cheated me. After some time, I have forgiven them, but don't trust them that much anymore.
• Philippines
5 May 07
jeanbug23, yeah its so true.... can't trust friends like that anymore and sometimes can't even stand having them around. Coz probably they do not understand what friendship means. Hmmm....so keep the friends who are true to you, keep loving them and stay true to yourself and to them as well.Ttyl!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 May 07
Haaaaaayayyay!!~~lol Dear Sis! I know how painful it might have been. We haven't got the time to talk about it yet. And I'm so glad you accepted my invitation here. So we can have an almost, constant communication. And I can feel you venting this sentiments away. I hope things will get better. I know that you came from so far. And friendship was the main bond who united you. To forgive, I think is easy, but to forget not. But maybe, the solution is not to forget it at all. I mean, things happened. Talked about it. You vent all your anger to him. And once, you calmed down, talk. Just talk, open your hearts once again to each other. Say all the things you want to say and clarify. And set your plans, set a common compromise. To love is a great virtue, and give him another chance. I know it's tough. But, hope for the better, give it a try. Especially, if he is willing to change. It must be a both way process for both of you to heal completely. And if after this period, nothing changed. You decide, both of you on the best solution for the three of you. Anyway Sis, I'll always be here. You know that ha, even if we don't speak often. Our hearts and minds have their own way to communicate. *hugz* (^^,)