Alone, at last
May 1, 2007 11:05am CST
A redneck, a sheep, and a German Shepherd were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the redneck. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the redneck took his arm off the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by, and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the redneck had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, so they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the redneck started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
2 May 07
On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. "You know honey," she said, "I can still get into the skirts I had before we were married." "Yeah ?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ball game on TV. "I wish to hell I could."
• United States
1 May 07
I wasn't going to open up this discussion and continue reading on but I am so glad I did. I have been having a crappy day and sure enough your joke made me laugh and a couple ladies in my unit here at work. So thank you...I wish I could think of a joke to post in response...Oh well. :) Have a wonderful day! Mahmah
1 May 07
SWEET! Always good to hear that I can make somebody's day. Yesterday I remembered that I was making a jokes site when I was 14-15 years old and never put it online, so I've been copying and pasting some of the better ones I had at the time. The dates on those files are December 2000 LOL.