Who here thinks Anorexia Nervosa is only suffered by girls?
May 1, 2007 11:33pm CST
I don't even know if I can make a coherent post at this point in time. This is more a warning. For anyone with sons or brothers or male friends. Anorexia is NOT something only girls suffer from. Just ask my little brother who is on his way to hospital right now to be tube fed for the next eight weeks... Now someone please tell me how I'm supposed to deal with this. How I'm supposed to stay strong as Ive watched my little brother fade away, as my little brother fights this illness... how am i supposed to support my family, my mother in particular who is shattered... Of the eighty odd thousand members here there has to be one person who can give me some advice other than stay strong... please
3 people like this
• United States
15 May 07
Hey Megs, Sorry to hear about your baby brother-my prayers are w/ your family. Here in the states I think it was the actor dennis quaid who coined the term "manorexia" when he was struck w/ it. Yes, men can have eating disorders they probably have a harder time confessing it b/c they are afraid of the scrutiny. +'s 2 U
21 May 07
He doesnt feel liek there is anythign to confess. He still thinks he is fat. I hate it when he stares into the mirror and stretches out a piece of skin and pinches it and moans about being fat, I'm like" CAN YOU NOT SEE YOUR RIBS POKING OUT???!!!" There is nto a miniscule of fat on his entire body, his BMI is like 12 I think... he's over 6ft tall and under 50kg and I just want to cry everytime I see him. His cheekbones stick out.... I just dont know how peopel cope with thi s I really dont...its killing me.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 May 07
How very sad for all of your family! This is a very hard thing to go through! However, while you don't want to fall apart completely, and thus cause your folks more worry, there is no reason for you to play Wonder Woman either! This is your brother's problem. You didn't cause it or create it, nor did you contribute to it in any way! Above all, you can't cure it either!! Only your brother can do that, and I'm glad he's getting the kind of professional help he needs to do it. The best thing to do is just let him know that you love him, no matter what he does, or how he looks. It's OK to tell him how painful and scary it is to watch him do this; how much you want to go to his wedding and the christening of his children; how important he is to you (try not to "guilt" him, though). He needs to understand that he has an effect on everyone around him, good as well as bad. Your mother is probably blaming herself and needs to understand this too. This is your brother's decision, and by now his mental and physical chemistry is probably totally out of whack, so he's not thinking clearly or behaving rationally. Other than making sure he has all the available medical and psychological help there is, there's not much you can actually DO for him. It's that useless feeling that's so hard to deal with! I don't want to get too churchy or weird on you, but one thing I do that helps me in such situations is to envision the afflicted person completely surrounded in a bubble or sphere of white light. The white light is God's healing love and it will protect him and energize him. It is very powerful, unlimited in quantity and it will always be available -- after all, it comes from God! See your mother surrounded by the white light too -- in fact, anyone you're worried about can use a dose -- even you yourself! Doing this makes me feel less helpless and I believe that the person being surrounded feels it too, on a subconscious level anyway. Whenever you find yourself worrying about your brother, surround him with the white light in your mind's eye. Then try to relax and let the light do it's work. Above all, remember that NO ONE is strong ALL the time! Give yourself a break and allow yourself your own time to be frail. Let us all here on mylot know how it's going, too! (I'll send you some extra angels tonight -- they love helping!)
21 May 07
Thank you for your beautiful post, and kind words. Don't worry about getting all "churchy" on me- I don't mind in the least. Once upon a time I was a devout christian, so it doesn't offend me. I follow a different path now, but in the end at a time like this all prayers and Gods alike are welcome. I won't reject any positive thinking from anyone for my brother. Things aren't exactly going well. They wouldn't take him to hospital without his consent so hes been seeing doctors and nutritionists on a weekly basis at a nearby hospital. Anywho, his organs have started to shut down, his heart rate has dropped and his body can no longer support things like his skin, which has peeled off from elbow to fingertips-is red raw and won't heal, and hair- which has started to fall out. It hurts so much and Im so worried but at the same time I'm angry with him- I dont know if thats normal or not- I just want him to realise hes not only hurting himself, but all of us too, and Im angry with him (even though rationally I know I shouldnt be) Sometimes, and this is hard to admit, and I do hope noone judges me- but I really really need to vent right now, sometimes I wish he would just kill himself and get over and done with quickly, because to do it liek this- so slowly and painfully is sickening and heartbreaking to watch. I dont really want him to kill himself, but- do I make any sense? Im just so frustrated and helpless... AUGH! So anyway back to my point...if he loses any more weight this week he will be hospitalised with or without his consent, because he is at risk of a heart attack now. Hes 15, a heart attack... So I know this will sound nasty bu \t i am being cruel to be kind, but I am praying to every god and diety ever thought of that he loses weight this week and gets hospitalised because that is where he needs to be to get better.,