Separation Anxiety: EXTREME.........What do I do????

United States
May 2, 2007 8:27pm CST
My two year old daughter has separation anxiety to an extreme. Most children cry until their parent leaves, then they are fine. My daughter cries for LONG periods of time, usually close to 45 minutes or an hour, causing herself to vomit, then continues after being cleaned up, usually for another 45 minutes or so. I have tried both letting her know where I was going and when I would be back, and just leaving while she was entertained by toys. But, now, she wont even play toys because she knows I will be leaving. I know nothing horrible has happened to her at this daycare, but I just don't know why its so bad for her. Can this cause lasting effects on her like letting an infant cry it out? What should I do????
1 person likes this
2 responses
• United States
3 May 07
While i dont have this problem with my 2 year old, i knew a mother who did. (mine just says buh bye! and takes off. sometimes i think a SMALL show of sadness would be nice...kidding lol.)My mommy friend discovered that when her son did this, and she simply said, "im going to go to such and such a place now, and i will be back soon. i love you good bye".everytime she left him, after a while it did stop. She found that when she was firm and loving, and stopped staying for 45 mins in the morning, and holding him and trying to comfort him, he saw it wasn't getting results, and he gave up. ( and now he does wonderfully when she drops him off. he knows the drill. mom says i love you, bye bye, and she comes back later everytime. nothing to fear.) Perhaps your daughter is just very smart lol. She might realize that the more she acts this way, and the more extreme it is, the better the results. for example, the harder she cries the more kisses and hugs she gets before you go. The louder she screams, the longer you stay. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I have no idea if its a real reason for her acting so upset when you leave her. I just know my friend found that this was her problem.
• Kottayam, India
3 May 07
Why don't take her with you!
• United States
7 May 07
I dont have that luxury. I dont work in a place that welcomes the children into the work place. Some of us cannot do that!