Dislike of Guests

Thiruvananthapuram, India
May 5, 2007 12:45pm CST
One of my friends has a deeply ingrained dislike of guests coming to his residence. I think such a dislike is inherent in self-centered families of today. Doesn't such a dislike inhibits one from mixing with others ?
6 people like this
14 responses
• United States
5 May 07
You know I can see this from both sides. I have a very active household with Children ,their friends, along with our friends coming and going all of the time. I have always worked where my primary focus has to be on the person before me. Sometimes I just crave a weekend where I can shut and lock my doors pull the blinds and not be bothered at all with anyone. So I would have to ask the question about your friend, how is it he lives the rest of his life? Perhaps his home is his sanctuary, his refuge and he does not like to share that part of his life. I don't find this self centered so much as self preservation. Does he socialize outside of his home? Many many circumstances may be involved, judging unfairly what we don't understand can be harmful to a relationship.
2 people like this
@tsledd (154)
• United States
6 May 07
i vote you to be best response if i could, you have putten this very nicely.. I like to read things like this.and I see where your coming from. I have kids running in and out all day arguing about everything never no peace and quiet at my house.. So when I get that chance to be home alone and spend some nice quiet time with myself or with hubby yes I love that. company come knockin i go locking, no my friend not today.. LOL
• United States
7 Jun 07
Sukumar794, thank you so much for the best response:))
• Malaysia
5 May 07
I enjoy having guest to my house. But i hope you understand that some guest are quite irritating and not really understanding, they will take your hosting for granted, staying in ur house like a free hotel, and it make me upset of keeping them as guest.
2 people like this
@tsledd (154)
• United States
6 May 07
isnt that funny, that is is our friends that seem to take advantage of us. just like loaning money,our friends take forever to pay back but if you make payment arrangements with astranger you get it.. what I mean is i breed and sell dogs as a hobby, i let a friend make payments that i never see all of and its been over 1 year. but a stranger comes to buy and puts deposit and pays balance in full when they say they will. just like in your home a stranger comes and goes but a friend never knows when to leave.
@Darkwing (21588)
5 May 07
Yes, he is inhibiting himself somewhat, especially if he doesn't go out and mix with others. I mean, i can understand somebody wanting their privacy, but it's nice to have company once in a while. I'm not sure whether it's inherent or not, but it could well be. This guy is setting himself a poor quality life, without friends, but then, I suppose that's the way some people like it. Brightest Blessings.
@dawnrm69 (1174)
• United States
5 May 07
Lots of people lie there privacy and he should let some come over sometime. I like my privacy and well I DO enjoy when some friends come over but now if they have alot of drama going on they can stay at home and done bring it tom my home!
2 people like this
• India
5 May 07
Yes .. such a tendency is problematic .. infact people will also start disliking such people who do not take the pains to welcome others .. a little bit of hospitality is expected out of all of us .. thats basic manners na ..
2 people like this
@Mitraa (3188)
• India
8 May 07
When someone is a guest of us, then it is obvious that we are also the guest of someone at another time, which is universally reciprocal and a non-stop process! If your friend dislikes guests coming to his residence, this may be due to his greediness or mean-mindedness or inferiority complex. By this attitude, your friend obviously blocks the real spirit of friendship as well as self progress. Guests are considered as the sudden appearing form of God. We all must well remember this always. Always we must be open minded to our guests and greet them with warm and cordial expressions. This will certainly improve our social values. Thanks.
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
7 May 07
Did he ever say why he didn't like guests coming? Maybe he felt embarrassed if it wasn't clean or something. I always enjoy having people over, unless I'm not feeling good or the house is a mess.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 May 07
I think it is self-centered for people to show up at someone's home unannounced and expect to be entertained. I don't know about your friend, but I have things to do and feel it's rude for people to assume I have nothing to do but visit at their whims. Call first next time.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
6 May 07
I was always that way myself. I didn't like people coming to my house but I would always go to theirs. I was very social and had many friends, but I preferred to go to their house. So it doesn't mean that at all, you should ask your friend why he doesn't like people coming to his house. Many because it is messy or he doesn't feel comfortable, or he is afraid they might break something etc.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
6 May 07
I tend to agree with you. I like having guests over for a visit. Sometimes I do like to be alone as well though. But such a dislike of guests makes it very difficult to associate wtih others when they feel you don't welcome them into your own home. They can't feel comfortable with you to welcome you into theirs I think.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
6 May 07
I think such a dislike can definitely prevent a person from enjoying being with others. But there are people that value their privacy and don't want anyone intruding on that privacy at any time. I am not that way though. I thoroughly enjoy having friends over.....but most of my friends know to call first to make sure I feel up to having company.
1 person likes this
@missak (3311)
• Spain
5 May 07
I have this dislike, and you're right, it inhibits me to mix with others. When I have to deal with guests, I feel like I'm not being myself, I don't know how to talk or what I am supposed to say or do, I never find the right way between making my guest feeling right and overhelping this guest at a disturbing level, plus sometimes this guest is someone who is here by some commitment and I really wouldn't like to be with this person at that time...
• United States
5 May 07
i dont understand someone like that i love to have company over !
1 person likes this
• India
7 Jun 07
When I was young, I mean of the age between 9-13, I had a somewhat resistance when my cousins came to visit us for a few days. It wasn't exactly dislike for them, but in small homes when guests come one has to change his habits in order to serve the guests better, and that adaptation wasn't easy for me at that time. However, as I grew older, I realized that guests are visiting only for a few days and its a nice experience to have them. I hope that such people who have dislike for guests understand this.