why do all parents love their children so much?

@ronreyes (4726)
Philippines
May 10, 2007 8:15am CST
Aren't you afraid sometimes that your love for your children may be useless or wasted just in case they become someone you didn't expected them to be? Like being a bad person!? Or maybe they'll just ignore you when they already have a life on their own... not even thanking you for all the things you have done for them!? It hurts doesn't it? But still, your love for us seems like endless! How grateful we are! I want to know what you think about this because I'm sure I'll be a parent someday and will feel the same love for my children as well. I really want to hear the most sincere and heart-warming response especially when it comes from a parent. Who knows... there may be a child or a teenager there who will get inspired with your response. Thanks in advance & God Bless! - Ron Reyes www.ronreyes.co.nr
42 people like this
128 responses
10 May 07
I am a Mother, my son is now 21 years old. I loved my son when he was a baby, through all the endless sleepless nights I loved my son when he was a toddler, even through the terrible twos tantrums I loved my son when he began at school, with all the playground fights and the tears I loved my son when he was diagnosed ADHD with all his violent mood swings, tantrums and troubles I loved my son when he became a teenager, with his ADHD and teenage hormones raging within him I loved my son even though he hit me in temper and anger I loved my son when he began his first job and began to settle down I loved my son when he was in trouble for being drunk I loved my son when he became depressed and angry I loved my son when he managed to get his act together and become a lovely young man I oved my son when he told me that, despite all the awful things he had said and done to me in the past - he loved me
@nonew3 (1941)
• United States
10 May 07
Wow! This is so moving, I hardly know what to say! Thank you for posting this! A mother's love can be amazing!
5 people like this
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Is this a poem you wrote? It's really nice!
3 people like this
10 May 07
Yes, it is all about my son. When he tells me he loves me, that's the greatest love of all
3 people like this
@nonew3 (1941)
• United States
10 May 07
I am the mother of an orphanage in West Africa. These are kids who have never known what it is like to have a mother. It has been very difficult at times. One time I had to step in, on the Internet, when there was a massive fight at the orphanage, and use my Web cam to talk some sense into those kiddos. The poor orphanage director couldn't stop the insanity. But, they listened to Mama! I ordered every single one of the 160 kids to have a spanking. It took all night, but they got spanked, according to the director. They all stood in line, and each got their spanking. The director said it was exhausting, but much needed. But, it has also been very rewarding. I helped them to get on their feet and be independent, and not be so dependent on donations for survival. I love those kids so much probably because I have never had kids of my own, and yet I have a motherly instinct. This same parenting instinct is probably behind at least some of a parent's love for his/her kids.
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Haha. A nice and funny story! Very nice! If ever you will have your own children someday, I'm sure they will feel very blessed and very proud to have a mother like you. Keep spreading your love because the children needs it! May God Bless You! :)
4 people like this
@nonew3 (1941)
• United States
10 May 07
I love kids. :-)
4 people like this
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
11 May 07
Heehee... I can see that! :)
2 people like this
@amydawn11 (906)
• Canada
10 May 07
In my opinion as a mother I don't think we quite understand how much we really will love our childern until the day they are born. I felt my daughter kick and move inside of me and I knew that I would love her but the night she was born love became a whole new meaning. It's amazing how you feel when you look at that child in your arms and you smile and you cry and you know from this monent on you will love her more than you've ever loved anyone in your whole life. You know that you will do anything to protect her.As you watch her grow and she accomplishes something you feel that excitement and happiness as much as she does and when she falls and hurts herself you cry too because you feel that pain even though your not the one who fell. When she does something wrong and has to be punished for it it really does hurt you more than it does her although she doesn't see that now. She is your life and everything you do from that moment on is for her, everything in your life changes, not just your routine and how much sleep you get but how you look at things and how you do things. Most mothers would jump in front of bullets for there childern, now that is love! I never worry that the love for my child would be useless, as humans we need to be loved especially by our parents. Loving someone is never a waste of anything, even if it's an a relationship that ends, at leate you gave that love away and because of that you have changed your life in one way or another.You should never regret loving anyone. If my daughter did something bad or turned out to be something that I didn't expect it doesn;t matter what she does I will love that little girl until the day after forever no if's,and's or but's. I may not always agree with the things she does or chooses but I will never give up on her or stop loving her.
5 people like this
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Wow! Now that's what I called "A Good Response" Very well stated. Your response is really sincere and very heart-warming. That's exactly what I've been wanting to hear. Your daughter must be very, very happy to have someone like you in her life. Hope somebody will be inspired with your response... Thanks for sharing your love.
3 people like this
• Canada
10 May 07
Thank you very much, I was actually in tears writing it. I am really emotional :)
3 people like this
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Oh really! Heehee well sorry about that! I never thought this discussion can make someone cry. But I think your emotions really made this response of yours very inspiring. :)
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22994)
• United States
10 May 07
First off I have to correct you on something...NOT all parents love their children, some dont even love them a tiny bit in fact some parents actually hate and resent their kids....Sad but true....and I'm very familiar with that in my own life unfortunately That being said...I love my kids because they are my kids..they are my heart and soul and my main reason for living....and if someday they end up "ignoring" me (which I find highly unlikely simply becuase we are VERY close)..then so be it...sure it would hurt my feelings but there'd be a reason for it I would think and hopefully if that were to happen they'd have the decency to tell me what that reason is and we could work on it.....As for one of my kids becoming a "bad" person..again I find it highly unlikely but anythign can happen right...and if they were to become that type of person I would definately let them know how I felt about it but I'd not love them any less...they are my babies and will be til the end of time..thats it thats all...There are no conditions on my love for my kids, never have been never will be..
5 people like this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
10 May 07
I don't think that any love that I show my children is wasted or useless. A child must feel loved and wanted to do well in life. A paretns love is unconditional. It has no boundries. All you want for your child in life is to be ahppy and well adjusted. You want their happiness to come before your own. There is no greater love then the love of a child.
4 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
That is exactly it. I could not have said it any better. I have a child that I have not seen for over a year. His choice, not mine. Regardless of the distance and the reasons, I still love him no matter what he does. We never had an argument, he just wanted to go away for whatever reason. I hope that someday I will hear from him or see him again. Regardless, I still love him. As you said, all you just want is for your children to be happy. That is all we can really wish for, isn't it?
4 people like this
@tammyr (5945)
• United States
10 May 07
saigonwarrior, I hate that you have not seen your son in so long. I know that would be very hard to deal with.I think you love him very much to put his wishes ahead of your own. I don't think I could let mine go away without seeing him. I guess I might be a little stingy.
2 people like this
@psyche49f (2514)
• Philippines
10 May 07
I believe that loving my children so much is not in vain. I feel that I would be less of a parent if I don't...Parents should love their children unconditionally; granting that even if our kids may not love us in return, still that is not the reason not to love them. Parenting and loving are closely associated words, so whether children are obedient or not, respectful or disrespectful, there is still love deep down parents' heart. Loving our children is something instinctive, and it takes only a loving parent to raise loving children
@sherrir101 (3671)
• United States
12 May 07
I have a 19 year old daughter with a one year old son of her own. My daughter does not ignore me, she calls me a million times a day. Everytime she has a problem, everytime there is drama in her life. I moved an hour away from her and kept the cell phone local for her to call. It is a pain in the butt. My cell is constantly ringing. She is having a hard time with life and I cannot 'do' anything for her. She has a son of her own he needs to grow up. I know all of this sounds callus but it really isn't. I spend so much time in tears for her because she is having such a hard time. She needs to get a job and raise her son like I raised her. I cannot solve all of her problems. I give her advice on the hard stuff like dealing with things but physically I am unable to do anything for her. What am I to do?
@unithorn (194)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I am not a parent yet, but to draw off of the wisdom demonstrated by my own... In your position, it would be best to give her the hard truth of things. Tell her that she needs to start taking responibility for her own actions. She is an adult now, and I know that you want to help her...but is solving her problems for her REALLY helping her? Perhaps for the moment. The trouble with this is that it does not teach her to be resourceful, to pull herself up after being knocked down, or to brave the stormy weather for the sake of reaching distant shores. She will never learn to take control of her life when it is easier to turn the reins over to someone that she knows, loves, and trusts. I'm not saying that you should completely stop helping. The next time that she has a problem, it may be beneficial to both of you if you ask her what she thinks she should do. This makes her think...even if she has trouble finding a good solution at first, it gets the cogs turning. By continuously taking her care of her dilemmas, you are inadvertantly condoning the notion that she doesn't need to think for herself. With a young one of her own, that would be detremental to his growth in the years to come. If this doesn't work, turn off the phone. Yes, I said it, and I'm sure you're not liking the notion. You may be worried that she feels abandoned, or that she would panic without you - sometimes, a little panic is good. You can even tell her first, if you like, so that she is not concerned about your health or safety. Turn your cell phone off during the day, check your messages in the early evening. Call her once a day. In doing this, you will (at least) be condensing the interruptions of your own life (I know you love her, but let's face it...); best-case scenario, she will begin to think independently. If you feel this is not an option, then at least put the phone on silent, so that you can monitor how many times she calls (real emergencies do happen, after all!)... I hope this works for you.
@palina77 (1179)
• United States
10 May 07
This is God gifted opportunity to all children to receive love and affection from their parents. Mother take much trouble to give birth a kid and a kid born from a parts of body of father, so there is no reason to leave kids without love and affection - it comes from devine.
3 people like this
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
10 May 07
First of all I don't think all parents do love thier children that much.Second of all your children are a part of you. In my opion the best part. When thier heart was to little to beat yours beat for them. When they can't walk you carry them. When they didn't have a voice you spoke for them. They don't owe you anything you owe them life.
@Melody1 (968)
• India
11 May 07
Parents bring their offsprings in this world.So its parent's duty to take care,nurture and love them.Parent's role becomes very important in bringing up their kids in a proper environment where they learn good principles and values.Parents must see to it that their kids are happy and healthy. Children are innocent when they are very young and are like soft clay.Parents can mould and shape them in a beautiful and sensible human beings by instilling good moral values and right habits. Inspite of this,if children grow up to be a not-so-good adult (might be due to wrong atmosphere and company outside home)then its unfortunate. Despite all this,parents love their children because they just don't know any other way to feel for their children.Love and only lots many love.If children do not turn out the way parents expected,then with the feeling of love,one more feeling gets attached and that is the feeling of concern. To tell you the truth ronreyes,I personally feel that no human being is bad.Its their circumstances which make it hard for them to remain an ideal person.Let's hope and pray that no one on this earth faces hardship and hence always remains a good soul.:-) I know its impossible,but who knows,maybe our prayers turn this world into an ideal one.Lets hope for the best!!
@ronreyes (4726)
• Philippines
11 May 07
Me too Melody1... I also believe that all humans have their own role or mission in this world and they have their own unique and good qualities. It's just temptation that makes us bad if we buy on it. :)
2 people like this
@jbrooks0127 (2330)
• United States
12 May 07
There is no question that children are simply extensions of ourselves. If your a woman and have a child you carry that child inside you for 9 months before you even see them. Following birth I can not imagine how any woman could not love that child for it is quite literally a part of her. But our love for our children need be tempered with the understanding that how they are as adults is a direct reflection of how we raise them. If we teach them to love and respect they will. If we teach them to hate and disrespect others they will. The sad part of that is we can do the latter without even working at it. If we are that way there go they. It takes a lot of work to raise a child. A LOT! But there are so many paybacks. You get that love returned to you in so many ways. Your fear that they may ignore you and not come see you once they are an adult will be realized if you don't teach them how to be family. Teach them, respect them, show them how to love and you will never ever loose them. But it is important to remember that you will not be their forever. They must learn to live without you and that takes independence. While that may leave you behind at times it does not mean they don‘t love you. They will and they know they can always count on you which makes their life much better. A baby is like a blank slate. Ready to be written on by an artist. You and your wife will be that artist and how they turn out is up to you. While many other people they meet in their life will have their effect on them no one will effect them more than a parent. They are your future for without children your heritage ends with you. It is one of life’s most awesome responsibilities and great joys. But they don't come with instructions and the on the job training can be trying but the reward of doing a good job is the best there is. I sense from what you say that you are much like me. I too feared parenthood. Not for the challenge of it but because I worried how they would treat me once grown. I have been shy most of my life and this fit right in. I can tell you that if you love that child you have no worries....none. My daughter just turned 40....my son just turned 37. And I have no doubt of their love. And I have no doubt they know of mine. And thank you so much for this questions.
@williamjisir (22913)
• China
12 May 07
I am not afraid of this at all. As parents, we give our kids our unselfish love. They will also give us love when we are aged some day. But of course, we cannot expect all of the kids treat us alike. This is really a good question that you have raised.
3 people like this
@gsnarayanan (1705)
• India
12 May 07
It is the responsibility of the parents to love their children. Not merely showing affection, they should bring themu p in life, such that the children can lead an independent life. It is the responsibilty of the father and mother to teach good habits and put them in schools and colleges to enhance their knowledge. Naturaly the children , when grown up , will understand their responsibility to look after the parents.This is a natural cycle. Irresposible parents alone are resposible for the bad charecter of the child.
3 people like this
@jc_star10 (955)
• Indonesia
12 May 07
I am not a parent yet, but I'm sure our parents did not count their love for their children. They only able to hope that their love for children, will help their children becoming better person. They keep continue to loving their children, in any way, in what costs. Their love for us are limitless. And they only hoping for the best for us as their children.
• United States
12 May 07
It's called unconditional love. No matter what they do or don't do you love them. Love isn't about how much someone does for you. My daughter has hurt my feelings countless times and I'm sure I have hurt hers a few times but we will always love each other. You can't worry about what they will turn out like, you just have to do the best job you can and pray that they have a good heart. All the money in the world can't buy unconditional love. If you've been fortunate enough to have had that, count your blessings because there are people out there that have never experienced it.
3 people like this
@ydiwan (448)
• India
10 May 07
My friend firstly when u become a parent u do not put a condition that will he/she be a good person or not or would care for u or not in my thinking parenting is a selfless job which just comes from within for your sibling one is willing to sacrifice anything for his sibling even to the extent of ones life and as far as nurturing the kids goes it happens to be a parents job as well the way he rears his child will eventually shape up his child in society. Bottom line what u sow is what u will reap and yes all parents love their children.
@ashjoe76 (1459)
• India
10 May 07
That's a very good thought from you. I guess parentswho realise the nature of life would just enjoy the times they spend with their kids. Change is inevitable, and their children will also change in time. They have to accept it. It is very hard for them if their children become bad persons in life, but what can one do, other than taking every step while bringing them up to stop them turning into bad persons? If your expectations are not met, you can only accept your kids as individuals who have their own viewpoints and instincts. Onecan never disown her/his child because the child has turned out to be a badperson. Parents can only love their kids, no matter how different they may be in expressing it.
• Philippines
10 May 07
I've heard sometime before that there are 5ive different kinds of relationships: acquaintance, which, as the term suggests, is mere acknowledgment of someone else's existence; gossip, where there is concern for the other person but such concern is neutral, even negative at times; friendship, where there is affectionate concern for the other person; lover, a step higher than friendship; and mother, the ultimate form of love. The love of a mother for a child exceeds all boundaries. A mother is willing to offer her life just to bring her offspring into this world. A mother will accept her child no matter what he or she turns out to be, in spite of all faults. I think this agrees with your observations, and it's probably just human nature, or even in nature in general, that a parent's love for a child is boundless.
@Grandmaof2 (7605)
• Canada
10 May 07
I hope you are a parent one day and I hope not until you are ready to make that commitment. Being a parent is the greatest pleasure and the most wonderful thing in the world as far as I'm concerned. I could never reguard it as a waste of time or useless time spent even with the children I took in under foster care. You just wait and see and man or woman can express themselves by saying the words I Love You, but sometimes that's all it is words. When a child can wrap their little arms around you and say I Love You, you know first hand they really do love you. You have the responsibility to do your best as a parent in raising your children and unfortunately there are times when the children don't turn out to be just what you expected or hoped for, but we need to remain strong, show tough love at times and certainly don't feed into thinking we're helping when we're really not, but I think no matter what your kids do you still love them and life goes on.
3 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
10 May 07
I love my children so much, because that is my job. I was born to be a mother. Since I was a girl, I always wanted a family of my own. Loving my boys and raising them to be fine young men, is what defines me. I will love them no matter what they turn out to be. I may not always agree with what they do, or even like what they become. But they will forever be my children. And I will love them until the day I draw my last breath.
3 people like this