is it right to say "NO" to someone,if they ask for help?

India
May 11, 2007 6:58am CST
Most of the time i find myself in odd situations where i cannot actually help a person..but since i find it difficult to say no to someone i ultimately end up in creating trouble for myself...After learning a lot of things i have started saying No to people but i think they feel bad and i dont want them to feel bad..is it ok to refuse someone for help?
1 person likes this
8 responses
• Philippines
11 May 07
There is only so much we can do for people and friends. We all have our limitations and principles. there is nothing wrong in saying "No" to someone, a friend, relative or even family, who asked for our help. Helping is definitely a great deed but if you end up creating trouble for yourself and even to others, then just say "No!". But still you would have to consider on what could happen if indeed you helped him/her or not. It really depends also on what kind of help someone needs? is it on a personal level or financial aspect perhaps? anyway, to cut the long story short, it is not wrong to say "No" to someone if they ask for any help.
• India
11 May 07
Thanx for you advice..have you ever refused someone?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 May 07
yes i did. and my friend understood it.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 May 07
yes, it is only right that we say no to a help asked of us, if it will make or complicate matters for us. we have to say no and not feel guilty for it when we are not that capable of extending our help. anyway, the person who came for help, came over to try to see if you have the capacity to do so. if you give your no therefor, you are only telling the person that he/she had come to the wrong one. until now, i still give help to those who ask me to if, such is within my capability.
@ivanxe (32)
• Philippines
11 May 07
definitely... its not selfishness... its just that, why chose to help those who were not able even to theirself?... life is a matter of mutual relationship where one must get a payment for exchange to what he had done, and where charity is a crime... and the total opposite of it is JUSTICE! be just!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
11 May 07
Yeah. Saying NO to someone who need help might be hard. It makes me feel bad. But in certain situation we have to make choice. So it is OK sometimes depends on the situation. I'd done that several times. I felt bad,though.
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3730)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
11 May 07
I think that sometimes, it is absolutely right. Depending on what the person asks you... "Please, help me killing that dude". Then, it's ok to say no. But usually, I wouldn't say no to my friends. After all, I don't want to hear a no from them. But I only help them if I am not going to get myself very troubled later.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21590)
11 May 07
I've had to refuse people help on occasions. Firstly, I give great thought to what I might be able to do to help and what I can't help them with. Then, I will go to them and say something like, "I'm sorry... I can help you by doing this, but I am not in a position to be able to do that, for you. Will this be of any help to you?" Then if they say no, it won't really, I say "Well, I'm sorry. I really would like to help but that is all I am in a position to offer right now." This way, you express a desire or will to help, but you're being realistic about it. The choice is then put back to them, on whether they accept or not, and everybody is happy with the situation. It's far better than a flat "No".
• India
10 Nov 07
Its difficult to say no to freinds when they turn up to u with hopes but i feel when there is no chance that when i cant help by no means then i say no rather than giving them more hopes....
• Philippines
29 May 07
this is also one thing which i used to find so difficult to do. and just like you, this habit has caused me so much trouble sometime later on. it might be too late for me to have learned my lessons, but it is never much too late to right some errors for as long as i still live. now, i have started to say no to people, thought of as frineds, who come to me for help. i might not want to do so, but the knowledge that they will only get to much trouble soon after, is what compels me to do so. usually, it is only fitting that we say no especially when they come in only asking help for financial reasons. i have learned that most people come for financial help although it is really not that much needed.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
24 May 07
Maybe its not bad too if you think you cant do, nobody is perfect, so even if you want to help someone but you think you cant give him whether you wanted to so why dont you refuse, maybe some other time you can still help him.. My husband till me that if i cant do what others want me to i try to say NO if it will just end me up in trouble..