why i lost faith in god

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During my childhood i.e. till I was in class XI I was an ardent devotee of Lord Shiva and afterwards gradually I lost faith in God. Now I am running 60 yrs and have neither interest to visit temples nor listen to recitals and devotional songs. In fact when any occasion comes to go to temple with my friends or family, I just stay outside and in case somebody happens to see and force me then only I join them to the temple but with no clear heart. This transformation came to me suddenly after the death of my mother when I was running 17 years. In fact I am an adopted son and after my adoption my step parents became very poor due to ill health. Even in their great distress, they did not neglect me in any manner and was rather looked after with greatr love and care. However, during the time of problems, no close relative came forward to extend them help, on the contrary neighbors and outside people helped a lot, not only they provided financial help but also taken care of my mother who was bed ridden with paralysis. My father died when I was about 19 years. When they were alive I wanted to make them happy by doing some job after XI class but unfortunately I failed in the examination which had added one more misery and finally I could not do anything good to them during their life time. After my parents death I moved to a far off place for employment and that time I approached God in a temple to atleast provide me an opportunity to see and express my gratitude to those people who had helped my parents in distress and even I tried many times to reach them but it could not be materialised due to many unexpected hindrances and finally my wish remained as a mere dream as all those people left this world. I will feel till my last breathe that something unfinished task to appease my departed parents could not be completed. People say that God is testing my parience but how long - Till I die?