Do you regret after beating or punishing your child.......console him later.....

@Manoj_s (939)
India
May 20, 2007 7:50am CST
My father in my child hood dont beat us often he may hit us once in a year and after that his love towards us is increased .he will consle us .what kind of a parent are you.how your child respons when you console him......
4 responses
@mama4kids (690)
• United States
20 May 07
i dont hit my children so i dont have the answer that you are looking for exactly. i have tapped them on the butt or the hand but they didnt even feel it. with a diaper on, you dont feel a tap on the butt. i think it is child abuse to hit a child. back in the day, it was considered normal but now a days it isnt. i am sorry that you went thru that, even just once a year. if you have kids...dont follow in your fathers footsteps. he probably showed extra love after a beating because of his own guilt. our guilt makes us do things to an extreme.
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
20 May 07
Then how you correct their bad habbits for eg:if he insists for chocolates more often how will you handle
• United States
20 May 07
we use time out when necessary. also..i will take something of importance away for a while or threaten to if the behavior doesnt change. one thing we have been doing for about two months now is the star chart system. i have a big poster board and put my kids names in each corner ( i have 4 kids) and everytime they do something really good such as a chore or sharing or helping out, they get a star. when the board as a whole reaches 200 stars they get to go somewhere fun, like chuck e cheese. this makes them help each other as well. if only 1 child has 50 and the others dont, we dont go anywhere fun. so they work together which is important in life to know how to do. if they are getting out of line or doing wrong, i will tell them that i will take away a star and that works wonders!!! the system really works for us!!!
• United States
20 May 07
one other thing i forgot to add....beating a child tells them that it is ok to hit other people. if you have multiple children like i do, if you hit one, they will think it is ok to hit one of their siblings. so hitting is just not a good idea for many reasons.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 07
I don't hit either, not even a swat on the diaper. It's just not an option for us. I think that beating a child and then consoling her is piling mental abuse on top of the physical... it's confusing. "I'm beating you, but I still love you and don't want you to be mad at me." Please. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
1 person likes this
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
20 May 07
i agree with beating the kids is not good.children are close to god .coz they are innocent and they dont know sins.but if you are a parent how to corrct childs bad habbits or theri mistakes.
• United States
20 May 07
As the others have said, time outs are a good discipline tool. Often, just talking it out with the child can be effective. It all comes down to being creative, and making sure the punishment fits the crime. For example, if your child writes on the walls with crayon, a spanking or a time out really has nothing to do with what he did wrong, so it's not going to be as effective as having him clean up the crayon. Or if a child sneaks out of the house to go to a party, taking away his allowance won't make much sense -- but a grounding and a talk about safety would be much more fitting. The punishment should be somehow related to the offense.
1 person likes this
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
20 May 07
i dont agree with your statement when my father hits me and after that he came to consle me .i really realised my mistake why he hits us and we have indeed done a serious mistake .in fact it does help me to understand my father better.
@nic24uk (571)
20 May 07
i never ever hit my children there is just no need to use violence on a child. i tell my children off when they are doing something they shouldnt be doing and if that doesnt work i take something away that they really enjoy. this method is the best you should never hit a child i believe inflicting violence on a child is wrong.
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
20 May 07
Thanks for your response .i will consider this methode also when i became a parent also.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
20 May 07
I don't beat my son, I do discipline him, we have a timeout/cooling off period where we talk about what he has done. Some people think that it doesn't work, well it does-toddlers are smarter than you think! He gives me a hug after this and I hug him back.
@Manoj_s (939)
• India
20 May 07
Thanks for the comment hugging your kid is a special feeling which will both the parent and the kid to show how they care him.