do you live in an affectionless marriage or relationship?

United States
May 23, 2007 10:40am CST
my husband and were talking about how we can't see how people stay in relationships or marriages that don't show any type of affection toward each other, like kissing ,hugging ,or at least saying i love you. do you agree?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Flight84 (3051)
• United States
23 May 07
I couldn't stay in a loveless marriage. My husband and I show each other affection each day. I watched my mom and dad go through a terrible divorce and towards the end of their marriage, I saw how bad my dad treated my mom. No affection at all and it broke her heart. How could you not take a second to tell them you love them or to hug or kiss?
• United States
23 May 07
i agree i think it's crazy to live that way.
@Flight84 (3051)
• United States
23 May 07
Yeah, I don't think couples should stay together for the kids either. Kids pick up on the tension too.
@vokey9472 (1489)
• United States
23 May 07
Sometimes the people's religious convictions prevent them from getting a divorce. Sometimes the two people are so stubborn, neither of them is willing to let the other go because of what they might get in the settlement. Sometimes the two people are so determined to make the other miserable that neither will file for divorce. I know that all those reasons apply to my parents. They literally hate each other and wish that the other would hurry up and die. But neither is willing to get a divorce and be free. My mother says that divorce goes against God, she isn't willing to lose her house in the settlement and staying married makes my father miserable and she wishes he that his diabetes would hurry up and kill him. My father isn't willing to divorce my mother unless he gets 50% of the house and all monies that they have, he hates my mother and does everything he can to make her miserable and he wishes that her lupus would hurry up and kill her. They will have been married 37 years in August. Can you imagine being married to someone that you have hated for over 20years? She wanted out of the marrage when I was 5 so that means for the last 30 years they have wanted out of their marriage. Why on earth stay with someone 30 more years if you don't love them? My mother's answer has always been "I will not give up my house" and my father's answer has always been "I want my half of the house". I personally could never stay in a loveless marriage. I am way too emotionally high maintainance. I gots to have the love or I don't want the man.
• United States
23 May 07
now that's just torcher i could not live that way.
@vokey9472 (1489)
• United States
23 May 07
It was torture for us kids too. I dont even remember most of my childhood. I blocked most of it out. I have gone to therapy for years because of my parents' situation while I was growing up. I said I was emotionally high maintainance and it's true. I actually NEED to feel, hear and taste love. If my hubby doesn't make me feel loved I get all crazy and upset. He tells me all the time because I actually need to HEAR the words like 20 times a day. He also works at showing me that he loves me because I have to SEE the love. His telling me and showing me makes me FEEL the love which I need. My therapist says its because of how I grew up. I blame my parents too. I know it is hard on my husband,and I am working on it. My sister has her own issues with her husband because of my parents.
@magikrose (5430)
• United States
23 May 07
I couldent stay in a relstionship like that. Ihave to tell my husband that I love him and show him affection. The thing is some people really dont have a choice in the matter. Some literally dont have any where else to go or the means to get there. I have a friend in 1 of those relationships and he dosnt have a car or the money at the moment to move out so in a way he is stuck.