Are you prepared to help?

@winterose (39918)
Canada
May 28, 2007 12:15pm CST
This is a question that is on the minds of many north americans more than before. We live in what has been called the sandwich generation, we have children of our own to take care of and oftentimes we have our parents who are elderly to take care of as well. How prepared are you to be a care giver, if suddenly god forbid that one of your parents were to take very ill and could not live on their own would you be able to bring her/him into your home and give her or him 24/hr care, would your spouse agree to it? would you have to quit your job to do it? would you have to get a better job to offset the expenses, do you have a room for her/him would you have to get a bigger place how would you handle all the demands what if your family say they don't like your parent and find it an intrusion on their lives? In my case if my mother were to get too sick to function on her own, there is still my step dad who is about 7 years younger than her, and then it would be my sister who would take care of her, I am sickly myself, but I know my mom would rather be living with my sister should she get to ill to live on her own. I remember one of my friends from high school whose dad was hooked up to an oxygen tank everyday of his life and he lived at home until he passed away. How about you would you be the caregiver of your parent in your home, or would you place them in a nursing home or go and tend for them at their home, or hire a nurse maybe to do it. how prepared are you and what would you do? please answer as many of these questions as you can for best response.
6 responses
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
29 May 07
Well, my mother moved into a place 9 yrs ago so she would have help for the rest of her life. When she moved in she was on the independent living part of the manor, now she is in the health care center, which is a kind of nursing home. Unlike most nursing homes, residents from the Manor come over, they know that at some point they are probably going to be in the health care center, at least temporarily if not permanatly. They keep an eye on things and make sure that even those who can't fuction on their own any more have someone as their advocate. I'm over at least 3 times a week to visit my mom and help her out. My brother is often over at least once a week & will stop in without warning if he's in the area so they never know when my brother is going to be in. Many people have family visiting, spouses who still live in the indepent side are often over visiting their husbands or wives. However, we've just learned that my cousin has been given 6 months to live when my sister talked to him today. She said that if his wife can't take care of his father, our uncle in the home anymore, she'd like him to be brought down to where she lives so she can help out. He'd probably have to be in a nursing home, but she's already dealing with friends in care where she lives & she works out of her home so has more free hours than many people.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
29 May 07
At this moment I care for my disabled son and husband , I also care for my Mum and Dad who both have Alzheimer's , I am an only child and my mum and dad won't have any help from anyone else , I se them every day but sometimes my son goes down for an hour or two , I try hard not to worry to much about what will happen in the future and I just try to make every day as happy as I can for them , I don't keep to great myself but that is just something we have to live with . i adore my parents and in all of my 65 years I have never had a cross word with them , It is so hard though to just watch them both disappear each day xx
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 May 07
oh hon, it is hard, I feel for you, and God bless you.
1 person likes this
@weemam (13377)
30 May 07
Thanks pal , I am just doing for them what they used to do for me , thanks xx
@mizrae (587)
• United States
30 May 07
I know what you mean as far as watching them get progressively sicker and feel for you. Can you get any kind of help to come in? I would worry about Your health as well. This is a heavy burden for one person to carry.
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
29 May 07
It is not a common practice to place our elderlies in the nursing home here in my country. When my father was still alive and living alone in a big house with only his faithful maid and driver to accompany him, I decided to move in and live with him with my girls temporarily. My father was having a series of health issues and I was constantly worrying about his condition. It was not really difficult for me since I work and market my own products. The hardest part was to see my father sucking in deep breathes and coping with his pain. Despite it all, he stubbornly refused to go see a doctor. He only relied on me to give him medication and prepared nutritious food. There was never a question as to whether I should sacrifice my own time to care for my father. I owed him my life and it was my chance to repay him by dutifully caring for him.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
29 May 07
Your story touched my heart.
9 Jun 07
Sure. I'm always happy to help because isn't that what makes us humans? caring for others.. I wouldn't be a person who'd be seen as being a rip off that I would help everyone and just it coming but I don't mind at all when it's really needed. ~Joey
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 07
It's hard to imagine what I would do, especially considering my parents are both young and healthy right now. I don't know if I would be physically or emotionally able to handle the full-time care of my mom or dad, but I guess we find strength when we most need it. I do know that there will not be any long-term care insurance to help get my parents into any sort of assisted living, so that probably answers the question right there. My brothers and I would have to find a way.
1 person likes this
@navtech (1776)
• India
29 May 07
I am from India. As far as I am concerned taking care of sick parents are primary duty of their children. We are four brothers and two sisters. Though we lived 1000 miles away from our parents, we always keep in touch with them about their health. We all used to find out about their health. By God grace they were healthy people and never had major health problem except minor health problem which they themselves took care. My father who was 90 years old and a news came that he fell down and broken his one leg. Within 3 hours we all brothers and sisters went to his help. Because we all love our father and mother. Further we had seen how my grand father and grand mother were taken care of my father when they were old. Therefore it is our tradition, custom and established belief that parents should be taken care at any cost otherwise our children will not care about us. For your information I am 62 years old and I had witnessed cases where children abondoned their parents during their oldage, ultimately their children abondoned them at their oldage. May be, you consider it is a foolish statement but it is a fact of life.