How do you respond when your child talks angrily to you?
By muscare
@muscare (3068)
Australia
May 30, 2007 5:36am CST
My son, as some of you probably know, usually chatters non-stop, but there are the times he isn't so talkative, right to the point that he answers a simple question quite crossly. Now, a lot of times I'll just shrug and decide to make the most of the peace while it lasts, but other times, I respond by answering in the same tone of voice as he does to me. I just feel that maybe if he hears how it sounds, and how it feels to be talked to like that, he might think about it more before answering that way. What do you think about this, and do you do the same thing, or just ignore your child until they snap out of it? My son is 4 and a half.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Darkwing (21583)
•
30 May 07
I don't think talking back to him in the same way will teach him anything. I think he will just take it that this is the normal way of responding to a cross answer and he'll carry on doing it.
If he were mine, what would I do? I would respond with surprise, say something like, "Heyyyyy, have you got a problem with my question? Shall we just stop here and discuss this?" Encourage him to talk to you and tell you what the problem is, and why he's so upset with you. If he thinks you're trying to solve it for him, he'll think you care about his feelings, and perhaps be happier to confide in you in the future.
Good luck, and brightest blessings.
@muscare (3068)
• Australia
30 May 07
Thanks for your thoughts, you may have a point. My wife and I don't smack as a punishment, we think it gives the wrong message, and maybe that's the same as when I respond the same way as he does. As I said, most times I just shrug and wait until he's ready to talk, so that may be the better option all the time. Most times if my wife or I ask why he is grumpy, he just says 'just forget about it'! Usually he is just tired form kindy, or something similar, and once he's had time to rest, then he tells us all about his day, and more, and more and still more...,lol! He is such a chatterbox once he starts, which is usually as soon as he gets up.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
30 May 07
I can imagine if he's normally a chatterbox, his "grumpy" behaviour might concern you a bit. You know, this sounds like a case of the sulks to me now you've told me what he replies to you. If that's the case, then you're probably doing the right thing by ignoring him until he's ready. It will teach him that sulking isn't good for him and that he'll just be left to get over it. I really think you have him sussed! :-)
Have a great day!
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
30 May 07
I think it would depend on why he is angry. Is he angry because he got in to trouble, or is he just having a bad day? We have a rule in our house, where my son must speak respectfully to us, if he cannot do it the first time, he must try again, before he gets any respone. If after a few attempts he is unable to do so, he has a choice, he can go into his room for some time alone, or change his attitude. (he's almost 3). He usually decides to change his attitude.
@muscare (3068)
• Australia
30 May 07
Well thanks for that, and yes, he is a gorgeous little boy, and I am constantly trying to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong as a Dad. He is my wife and I's only child, by choice, and I have been known to play big brother as well as dad. Maybe I've got to far into the brother role sometimes,lol!
