What would you do if your Ex now doesn' really want anything to do with a child

I am sorry to hear what you are going through Stacy and I'm peeved off that your ex and his wife would treat his daughter like this even though she was not biologically his. I suppose this is what divorce does to someone I don't know. The one who is going to be hurt in the long run is your daughter. If she was mine, and my ex didn't care for her like his own daughter, regardless of how it all came about, then I would sever all ties with him. I think she would be better off not having mixed feelings about her Dad (but that's just me). I'm sure you need to consider other factors as well (child support etc) but my initial thought would be to sever all ties. I don't think I can handle my daughter going through this knowing now that her Dad doesn't love her the same when we were together.

It just means that he truely never cared for her in the first place. My Biological father has done the same thing to me. I was born out of wedlock and my father chose to marry my mother, they divorced before I was a year old and then my father signed away his parental rights to me when I was eight stating that it was what was best for me. Throughout the years I've tried to stay in contact with him but he has no desire to be in my life. I would just talk to your daughter about how their treatment makes her feel and then make the best decision you can and perhaps not letting them be part of her life will be best for her so not to cause so much heartache because I honestly think letting her around people that treat her like that will cause more heartache in the long run!

I dont know what you can do in this situation, sometimes men can be dogs. they can be fine until they get remarried and all of a sudden they are coerced by the new wife into not having anything to do with their kids from previous marriages. all i can say is if you ever start dating someone who has kids from a previous marriage don't exclude them or try make your new partner not see them as now you know how it feels from the other side!

I would NEVER change a child's name to that of a "new" parent. If that parent married into the family, they can certainly marry out of it, as happened in your case. If the used-to-be-father doesn't want to be a father anymore, give the child your birth name, and take that name yourself, if you want to have the same name as your child. That's what I think.

Stacy-- I can tell you from experience that this is really crappy for your little girl, but you may have to talk to her directly about it. When I was 4 my mother married a man she was dating. I have never known my sperm donor. He and my mom had two chilren together and while they were together he treated me like one of his children. He was the only father I ever knew. They divorced when I was 14 and suddenly he wanted nothing to do with me. He even came to pick up my brothers on my sixteenth birthday and didn't wish me a happy birthday when I answered the door. I sent him notice of my high school graduation and he sent it back. I was devastated. If this creep and his wife are already treating her differently from the other children, I would take Cierra aside...do something really grown up for her like going out to coffee or something...and try to explain the situation to her. don't apologize for him...that's not your fault. But let her know that you can see how he is hurting her and what a creep he is being and that she is old enough to decide for herself if she wants to be around him. And most of all, let her know that it isn't her fault. At 10, she can probably understand it logically, but still thinks somehow that she did something to make him stop loving her. Maybe, if it's an option, plan to do something special with her yourself while her siblings are with the creep...let her know that you lvoe her enough to make up for the loss of him and that it's not a big loss at all. Good Luck!! Cindy

If you feel like you need to take your child, ask your lawyer to arrange something for you,.

How can he be so cruel to her. I can't understand how he can do that. What are his parents like? What are they like with your daughter? Do they treat her like their granchild, if they do, then maybe talk to them about it and explain that your daughter is hurting. Then maybe they could talk to the dad and get him to realise what he is doing to your daughter. Good luck with whatever you decide. At least your daughter has a great, caring mother.

You are fortunate that he is your ex. He has no scruples. Neither does his new wife. Your daughter is better off without them. It will be worse if you allow her to be with them and they treat her differently.

If I was in your shoes I would be mad. I have two children that were from my first marriage, and my husband always treated them the same as the others that are his. If we divorced and what not, I would be very angry if the bond they had now was shattered. They think the world of him, and I have told him before that if we seperated/divorced that he would still have to treat the kids all the same and take all the kids when it was his turn to have them, not just the ones that are his biologically. If this didn't happen, I would be extremely upset. So I can understand where your coming from! I would tell him! If you guys aren't great at communicating in person, maybe start with an email to get the ball rolling. Tell him it hurts your daughter and you really expected more from him in reguards to her and see what he says. Good luck sweetie!