If your cousins wife stole from you , what would you do ?

Canada
May 30, 2007 3:47pm CST
What would you do if your cousin's , who had three young children , stole hundreds of dollars from you ? Would you tell your cousin knowing that if you did you would break up a family or would you keep quiet and watch your money more closely to keep the family peace ? My cousins wife did this to my husband and I the year we got married . All the money we had recieved from our honeymoon was stolen and my husband and a friend of his caught my cousin's wife trying to steal from us again one day when we were not home by sneaking in the house and catching her in our bedroom in my underwear drawer , where I had hid our honeymoon money . I never said anything to my cousin because I didn't want to be the cause of them splitting up . What would you have done in this situation ? As a result of this , my husband and I didn't get to go away on our honeymoon as we had planned because she stole all the money we had which was a nice sum of money at the time .
8 people like this
15 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
30 May 07
You owe it to yourself and your husband to speak up. When there is a problem in the family and you refuse to acknowledge it and deal with it, then your family becomes dysfunctional. She obviously has a serious problem and you probably aren't doing her any favors by being quiet. If she likes to steal, then she may not just still money. Either you will have to guard your entire house when she visits(which will look suspicious) or not allow her to come over or tell the truth. Omission is also a lie. Not only that, you are always going to feel resentment toward her, unless you get it out in the open and give her the opportunity to make things right. Right now, you are carrying around a situation that is not your problem. Believe me, once you speak up, you will feel so much better. Then maybe she can get some help.
• Canada
31 May 07
I have never been any good at speaking out for myself , if it has to do with my children then I can but have always found it easier to let go when it comes to me . I am actually a very forgiving person and have forgiven her even though I have never spoke to her about this as her and my cousin are no longer together and I am the only one in the family that takes the time to talk to her and find out how she is doing . Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
30 May 07
I would tell your cousin. I think if you confont her she will just deny it and cause you more frustration. Keep in mind your cousin's first response may be to protect his wife and lash out at you. Tell your cousin you are coming to him instead of the police because you care about both of them and want her to get help. Don't expect to get the money returned because she will have already spent it. I would however make sure she is not able to get into your home when you are gone and put your money in another place so you avoid the risk. It will not be easy as these things never are. Just be honest, remain calm and don't take anything said personally because it can get sticky and you know you are right. Good luck!!
2 people like this
• Canada
31 May 07
That would have been a really good thing to do at the time but I had been so worried about causing problems in the family . Thank you for your response .
1 person likes this
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
30 May 07
Tell your cousin what happened, however, be prepared that he probably will not believe you. How long has it been since this happened? I don't think you will break up that marriage by being honest with your cousin.
2 people like this
• Canada
31 May 07
Actually this happened almost seven years ago and they have since seperated because of what the family went back and told my cousin , apparently I was not the only one she stole from . Thank you for your response .
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@femimi (872)
• Indonesia
31 May 07
If it happened to me, I prefer to tell the truth. It's not good to keep bad habit, and maybe there are some reason which we didn't know why she doing it. If we tell the truth, maybe her husband could know the reason and try to solve the problem. Maybe she did it because of economy problem or psychology problem, or others problem, we as family could help her. To telling the truth doesn't mean to judge what she has done, we must be positive first, maybe she didn't realise what she has done, but we also can try to prevent another stealing to others. So just keep positive, I think people doing something bad because of some reasons which should be solve.
• United States
31 May 07
Your husband needs to tell his cousin. She needs help and she needs to feel remorseful. She will keep doing this and do it to other people. What she did was awful.
2 people like this
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
31 May 07
if i am in your position, i will have a heart to heart talk to your cousin's wife and asked her what is the reason why she did it. i will talk to her nicely and tell her that i saw her get the money. then after that if she still deny it, i will talk to my cousin and explain it to him.
@anlelan (90)
• China
31 May 07
I think that you should tell your cousin what happened.but you can help your cousin's to give up the fault.If you connive she go on ,she will not afraid you and make mistake again.
2 people like this
@fabeboso (102)
• Philippines
31 May 07
I think this will be a bigger issue between you and your cousin but you should tell your cousin about this incident.Doesn't matter if he will believe you or not as long as he is already aware of it.Just be honest enough to tell him what had really happen.Yes she is your cousin's wife but it's really a bad act to stole something from you that you save for a period of time for any plan you had with your husband.
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@ozangel82 (754)
• Australia
31 May 07
I would definately tell on her! either that or i would have confronted her and punched her fair in the nose!
2 people like this
• Canada
31 May 07
i would be mad if someone stole my money and i would tell my cousin and my cousin would be mad too . I dont' want anyone to take my money beacuse it is mine aned i want to keep my money . i would not let them take my money again and i would not hide it there and would hide it in my pocket and then they would not find it in there . my cousin would me mad and i would be mad to . I would tell my cousin and then they would not be mad at me anymore .I don't want no one to take any of my money from me that is not good .
2 people like this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
30 May 07
If I was able to prove that she stold the money I would demand that she pay all of the money back. If she didn't have the money to pay it back then I would make her sign a promissory note stating what she did and that she would pay all of the money back. I think that the right thing to do is let your cousin know what type of person he married. She may one day steal all of the money out of their accounts. She may have some kind of habit that he needs to be aware of. I realize that he may not believe you but I know I would feel bad if I knew what type of person she was and I didn't atleast try to warn him.
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@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
30 May 07
I would have said somrthing at the time it happend and I would have cared less if it broke up the family or not, one thing i cant stand is a theif, if she has stolen from you how many others has she stolen from in the family. Yep if it was me I would tell him.
2 people like this
@vampoet (825)
• Singapore
30 May 07
I would tell...the consequences would not be my fault cos it is their perrogative. SHE stole MY money...if they have family problems after I tell him....maybe they have bigger issues to worry about then stealing my money
2 people like this
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
30 May 07
First thing I would confront the one that actually took my money. Then I would let them know that I want the money back or I will press charges. The next step is to tell your cousin about being married to a thief. If she is stealing from you she more than likely is stealing from other family members. The cycle has to stop some where. Your cousin may not know his wife has a proble then again he may know and profits from her habit. The only way to stop this is talk about it. It is going to be hard but it must be done.
@paidreader (5151)
• United States
31 May 07
That's just wrong! I would have had to say something about it. Didn't the cousin even ask why no honeymoon? When hubby & I were engaged, my 2nd stepmother took my rings from their hiding place for who knows what reason. When I told my dad that they were missing, we were able to figure out who had them but I wasn't allowed to say anything until after he talked to her. Nothing more was ever mentioned but the rings did turn up well before the wedding. I don't know if I was responsible for their short lived marriage but my wedding did have to be moved up almost 5 months due to their seperation.
• Canada
31 May 07
I wasn't that close to my cousin where we talked very often so I guess he didn't realize we were even planning on going away , he didn't go on a honeymoon when he got married and I don't believe it would have even crossed his mind . I was friends with his wife but didn't see him very often . I am glad you got your rings back as that would have sentimental value and would be worse then money . Thank you for your response .
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