love marriage

India
June 5, 2007 4:45am CST
what should one do if his/her parents do not support love marriage??????
5 responses
5 Jun 07
In my very honest opinion,I think that if you know your parents donot support love marriage and you donot want to hurt them in any way,then the best thing is not to go for it.If you want to go ahead and marry someone you love then you have to be prepared to face the wrath of family and parents.You have to be prepared for your parents' anger and have proper reasons to convince them otherwise.It is no use being torn between parents wishes and your own.You have to decide one way or the other and each way is going to hurt someone-either you or your parents.All parties will never be satisfied.So if you still want to go ahead and think that it is the right thing to do,go ahead and defy your parents.But before you do that,you must also think whether the guy you chose is a good one, and whether he has the maturity to handle your relationship if people start passing negative commments on you both.If you think you are still youn and you need to finish your education and get a job then it is important to set your priorities right before you take any step.Goodluck.
5 Jun 07
In my very honest opinion,I think that if you know your parents donot support love marriage and you donot want to hurt them in any way,then the best thing is not to go for it.If you want to go ahead and marry someone you love then you have to be prepared to face the wrath of family and parents.You have to be prepared for your parents' anger and have proper reasons to convince them otherwise.It is no use being torn between parents wishes and your own.You have to decide one way or the other and each way is going to hurt someone-either you or your parents.All parties will never be satisfied.So if you still want to go ahead and think that it is the right thing to do,go ahead and defy your parents.But before you do that,you must also think whether the guy you chose is a good one, and whether he has the maturity to handle your relationship if people start passing negative commments on you both.If you think you are still youn and you need to finish your education and get a job then it is important to set your priorities right before you take any step.Goodluck.
5 Jun 07
Oops,posted twice by mistake..I thought my browser was stuck.
@mystery5 (351)
• India
7 Jun 07
It depends a lot on the situation. The first thing one needs to do, is sit with the parents and analyse why exactly they are opposed to the marriage. If it is a problem of misunderstanding some aspect, that can be cleared. If it is because of some quality in the boy/ girl, then you need to sit with them and analyse the pros and cons of that quality, and take their advice seriously. However, what I have seen in most cases, is that parents oppose the match simply because their child has chosen a match without consulting them. Or sometimes they oppose due to different castes/ financial status/ family feuds. In such cases, I think that a child can choose to go against the parents, because clearly, the parents are not genuinely concerned about the child, but more about their own social status. If a child is marrying against the parents' wishes though, he/ she must ensure by some other means - either talking to some understanding relative, or some elder sibling, that the choice is right. Often, people are not able to judge others completely, and it is safe to get a second opinion from someone who you think will be able to give a fair appraisal
@eiencafe (155)
• Italy
5 Jun 07
I don't believe in anything but love marriages so maybe I'm not really good at giving advice because the only thing that's popping in my mind right now is "run away" from such things. I know we should love our parents and I love mine of course but I also know they want me to be happy so if I'm happy with a person and they don't approve, they tell me so but let me make my mistakes. But as I said we don't believe in anything else other than love marriages so I don't have the right mental state to think what I'd do if my parents want to arrange my marrage (I would probably run far away and never come back, but of course in my case it won't happen because my parents don't do arrange marriage, is it innapropriate if I add "thank God they don't, I would have already killed myself"?)
@Mitraa (3188)
• India
5 Jun 07
If parents don't recognise such marriage, then instead of love marriage it becomes 'hurt marriage'. Such marriage certainly hurts parents, many family members and relatives also! Just think of parents... They are the living symbols of sacrifice for their children. So I think in the matter of love (not emotion) ones self-conscience and choice as well as apprehention of parents regarding you must be well taken into account and parents' sweet will should never be hurt just for unidirectional emotions. Please try it with patience and you will sure find positive results by co-operating with the thoughts of parents. They must change by their conscience if you have chosen their right apprehention in your love with your intellect and it will never hurt them or any cousin. Thanks.