Words that break a mothers heart.

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My six year old and four year old were playing with a ball on a string. The 4 yr old had the ball the 6 yr old the string. He let goof the string and it hit my 4 yr old in the eye hard enough to leave a welt. I was angry for other reasons but this pushed it over the edge. I told the 6 yr old go sit in his bed until we could talk. Because he immediately denied having any part and blamed my other son although I am in the same room and witnessed. So my six year old yells I hate you to my 4 year old. It broke my heart. He hurt his brother and instead of apologizing or chacking to see what he could do, we got that response. A little bit later I went into talk to him and tried to explain how it was wrong, how words hurt, what we could do better next time. I asked him if everytime he had brokensomething of mine or damaged or trashed something or when I was angry at him or his brother if I ever used those words. HE had nerve to say YES. I almost cried. I have never inmy life said those words to anyone. I have said I hate this in frustrating situations butnever to anyone outright or in their presence. My heart shattered. How does a 6 year old or even a 4 year old know succh mean words? He apologized to us both later but I feel the point was lost on him. Sometimes sorry doesn't fix it, and it is too little to late. HOw do I get him to understand? What do I do different?Anyone ever been in this situation?