Women hitting guys. Why is it not a big deal?

Domestic Violence - Women hitting men.
@argie713 (1809)
Philippines
June 7, 2007 9:53am CST
I have a very nice guy friend. He is very close to me. We've been friends for a long time. Yesterday, I saw his arms full of scratches and bruises. I asked him what happened. He said he and his girlfriend had a fight. At first it was verbal and then the girl started to slap and hit him. His first reaction was to do nothing but parry the attacks but the girl won't stop so he grabbed her by the hand and pushed her away. I think the grip was too hard that the girl had bruised her arm. Then they stopped and the girl left. The girl later sent a message to my friend and told him she does not like him anymore because he hits women. Why is it a big deal to grab and push that girl away? When in the first place she attacked my friend first and just defended himself?
22 people like this
85 responses
@AmbiePam (46384)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I know a man who divorced his wife because she regularly beat him. People thought he was a wimp, but he refused to hit her back. I don't know why he didn't just push or shove her away. Perhaps he thought if he did that, he would give way to stronger, more violent emotions. I just hope your friend breaks up with that girl. That is not a healthy relationship. At least he has you as a friend.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
He already broke up with her. But the blame was all on him. I pity my friend. He chose the wrong girl to love.
2 people like this
• Belgium
8 Jun 07
If someone hits me I hit back, I never turn the other cheek. If a women would lay hands on me she would be sorry, I'd make sure she never forgets it. It's a power game if you as a man let the woman get the upperhand, you'll lose all respect from that woman and the abuse will continue.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Jun 07
maybe he should love somebody else. maybe he should not look to far for that love. maybe that love is just under his nose the whole time. maybe you get my gist? ;p
@shestalou (293)
• Canada
7 Jun 07
It is a big deal and she can be charged with assault and battery if he were to pursue it, I guess it is totally up to him but I have seen woman charged for physical abuse against her boyfriend or spouse, my one friend is tiny and her boyfriend is huge she was charged for assaulting him and was warned next time she could spend time in jail for assault, any kind of assault is serious no matter who the perpurtrator is.
2 people like this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
It's not like that here. Only a few guys complain. Their reputation as men would be ruined if people would know they are being hit by a woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jun 07
yep, assault complaints are uncommon in the philippines. be it by a man or woman. if something like that happens, it's either the fight will stop or get bigger.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jun 07
There is an old saying that two wrongs don't make a right.True guys are bigger and stronger but there are some women out there that are quite stronger than their men.But it doesn't make it right to hit or punch anyone.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jul 07
Thanks for the response.
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Abuse and violence of any kind is never okey no matter what ones gender is. Women hitting guys may not be big deals because guys is more that capable of protecting themselves against those women. If they get bruised or scratched or hit, its because they allow it to happen. Unlike women who gets hit or abused by men, that even if they parry the attacks, they are just not strong enough. However, even if men are stronger than women, it is still NOT RIGHT to hit them.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
7 Jun 07
In this case, the girl was the abuser, yes, men can be abused too. He was only defending himself. Sadly, the girl will probably only tell her side of the story and not how she hit him, and make him sound like bad guy and she the victim. He reacted instintively to protect himself, anyone in his situation would have done the same.
2 people like this
• India
7 Jun 07
v Ladies are like that and behave like that from the age old times... V have a gud quote in our region that (The result is same if the leave go and fall over a throng or a throng fall on a leave...the effect is only for leaf) Like that if a guy hits a woman or a woman hits a guy it only affect to GUY.. I may be not clear in wat intend i said..i could'nt convey my feelings ..sorry.. did yu get my point
2 people like this
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
7 Jun 07
There is no excuse for violence. It is not ok for a girl to use violence. Your friend should be glad that he is no longer in an abusive relationship.
2 people like this
• Brazil
7 Jun 07
she is woman but its wrong to hit another people, she is crazy its that i think if wanna a fight, be only verbal, we arent animals :S
2 people like this
@Daremyth (49)
• Venezuela
7 Jun 07
Sadly, most societies overlook domestic violence of women on men. If we're equals it should equally unaceptable for a woman to hit a man and viceversa. I've that most men feel embarrased to admit they're hit badly by a woman, but I think that in both cases the victim should NOT allow her/his partner to him/her. Some women thinks that it's ok to hit her boyfriend/husband with the excuse that they're, in most cases, physically stronger than them but that isn't a valid reason to hit anyone. My father used to have a girlfriend who tried to hit him, he told he was on the verge of possibly harming her badly in self-defense, but he managed to control her without hitting her back. After that, he broke up with her because he could not tolerate that kind of behaviour, it would surely end badly for both of them if they had continued the relationship. I think that someone should have a serious talk with that girl, you shouldn't hit someone and expect them to stand there passively while they're being hurt. People should realize that domestic violence goes both ways, otherwise it's very discriminatory.
@urbandekay (18314)
7 Jun 07
Well said all the best urban
1 person likes this
• Venezuela
7 Jun 07
This is just to correct some phrases, d*mn my english. "If we're equals it should *be* equally..." "I've *heard* that most..." "her/his partner to *hit* him/her." "he told *me* he was..." Sorry, I kept eating words... hehehe :D
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18314)
7 Jun 07
Don't worry it read fine all the best urban
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18314)
7 Jun 07
A survey here in UK conducted by a feminist group found that more women assault there partners than men do all the best urban
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
Really? I never hit a guy before. But if its true. Why do women always appear as victims. You rarely see men complaining about being assaulted.
@urbandekay (18314)
7 Jun 07
I don't know, I've pondered this often and the only explanation I can suggest is this. That is goes back to primitive instincts; men making light of attacks on them and both men and women having an instinct to be more protective and therefore concerned about attacks on women. Often in society the commonly accepted truths do not reflect reality. Certainly, violence against women feels more shocking all the best urban
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18314)
7 Jun 07
And possibly this also explains why people take the attitude that women hitting guys is not important. all the best urban
1 person likes this
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
7 Jun 07
He did't hit her and I don't know why women want to pull that stuff when a guy tries to defend himself. I have a cousin with a girl that gets violent during arguments and the one time he pushed her away she called the cops. I am a girl but I wouldn't expect a guy to just stand there and let me wail on him. I know the saying is that guys shouldn't hit a girl but it doesn't say anything about defending.
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
You're right. I never hit a guy before and have no intentions of doing it. You have to respect the guy.
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Exactly. Don't get me wrong...I would probably cold-clock a guy that hit me, but I wouldn't start beating on a guy and expect him not to defend himself. You do have to respect each other.:)
1 person likes this
@nandhinir (154)
• India
24 Jun 07
That girl thinks that hitting a woman is bad..That should also be there vice versa...right?Why she is not thinking in that way? your friend is helpless now with her.He can withdraw her because in future if this happens anymore..Will create problem..:-)
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
Thanks for the response.
@Roswell (104)
• India
8 Jun 07
well its complicated how girls behave now a days. Even i have a friend who's a girl she hits me when i tease her but not to a extent where she brutally brusies me she does it out of affectionately it works but having a girl fight his boyfriend physically now that would be a must watch scene. I feel really sorry for the bloke . Seriously he did the right thing i think he should dump her or does he love her soo much that he does't care if she hits
1 person likes this
@Roswell (104)
• India
8 Jun 07
well my opinion would be that he finds a better caring and understanding girl. And oh yes girls are recognized for their un violentic nature they are supposed to be you know sweet and loveable cute Man i am givin myself butterflies anyways PEACE OUT! hope all goes well with the bloke
1 person likes this
8 Jun 07
The problem is to avoid the fight so everything is ok but in this case your friend did a wrong thing he had to go away when she began to slap and hit him. He would avoid in this manner to grabb and push her. So he could say to her stop fighing and lets talk in peace.
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
I agree. Talking is a much better way to solve problems.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
7 Jun 07
REally it is and if she wanted to break up with him why not just say so. There was no call for her to hit and scratch him
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
That's right.
@winky73 (1396)
• United States
7 Jun 07
You know that is something I don't understand either.To me it's like this....if a woman puts herself in a position where she is trying to hurt a man by hitting....than he has a right to stop her.I mean why should he have to sit there and take the abuse?If it was the other way around and the woman pressed charges....the guy would go to jail. Honestly I think he's better of without that girl and maybe he will find a real woman....that knows how to settle a argument without getting physical. It's very simple....if somone gets to the point where they want to hit....they need to walk away before either of them gets hurt. Trying to dominate someone with physical strenght is never the right way to win a argument and I see nothing wrong with defending yourself...if someone is hitting you.
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
My friend just wanted to settle a little argument but it got worse. Then all of this happened.
@Madona1 (2097)
• Gibraltar
7 Jun 07
It is a big deal if women hits guys. Regardless the gender, whoever hits someone, it is criminal. However, for this particular case, I am not sure what actually happened. As your friend said at first it was verbal but the situation turned worse following the fight. This happened to some couples who were totally out of control due to the intense increased.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
I have asked my friend. He did not say anything. Didn't answers questions asked by the girl. Maybe that caused the girl to be really mad.
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
7 Jun 07
well, i think he is better off. women should not have the right to hit any male. if she can do this,whats to say she might not hurt him worse the next time. she needs to see what she did before going out and been mean about him. your friend is better off, and should find someone who respects him too.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
Yup. My friend can sure find someone better.
@smoke_gun (1243)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 07
there are no any deals if they are still loving each other.we dont know are these happening oftenly among them,maybe this is the style when they are stick together of their relationship.some couple,one like to hit and the other one like to be hit,with no reason.is this weird?yes,if my answer,but thats the way they are being,and happy in their relationship,what can we do as friend?
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
I can't decide on things my friends are about to make.
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
7 Jun 07
He should have reported the police and he has teh prove about the scratches and bruises on him and his girlfriend had no right to hit anybody I bet she don't have any bruise on her and he was defending himself. Like Teresa said it's not healthy. He needs to let her go and find someone that can treat him better.
1 person likes this
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
I don't know if he could file a complaint here in our country. People tend to side with women in this situations. Even if the woman received just a slight scratch.