joy and fear at the same time with tears...
June 8, 2007 10:44am CST
have you ever felt joy and fear at the same time? the feeling of confusion was there that you can't identify what you were really feeling but you know that you love that person soo much.. i was in the situation then that i was with the one i love, that i know he doesn't love me back as much as i love him..butmy heart has this big hope that soon he'll love me back.. that day, we were in a computer shop and i made him feel so special..i held him with love.. i felt happy that i was with him.. i really was.. but then i also had this fear that i was the one with him but he's thinking about my friend that he really loves and i was just nothing, like i wasn't there.. both the feelings were with me..confusion was there.. then i just can't help it, tears rolled down my face because of the feeling that i had..i just can't understand why.. i was happy and yet with fear..confusion and tears.. so much for my first love, a wrong kind of love..where in the end, i just hurt many people specially myself..
10 Jun 07
I have felt that way too. I'm happy that we're together but then i feel fear and sad that someday he'll be gone for good. that he'd push me away.. far away from him. He knows how I love him but he just couldn't make me happy, he can't love me back the way I love him. We are like more than friends but we're not lovers. I'm not even sure why I'm still after him even if he pushes me away. I love him too much that I can't put a smile on my face if I can't even talk to him. Its sad that sometimes, no matter how much you wanted someone.. you just couldn't have him.. no matter what. And you couldn't do anything about it, but just to accept the fact that things won't work out like you wanted it to be.. but as for me, my unrequited love won't fade.. I'd still love him like I use to, and to that.. I'm honest with my feelings.. I'll endure all the pain and I'll be much stronger for it. :)
10 Jun 07
i ended loving the one i love and i don't want that kind of feeling again..i was in the exact situation like you had.. and it wasn't good so i decided to quit as soon as i was with my cousin who pushed me into quitting, i wasn't sure of what'll happen then but now, i knew i made the right decision although i still had some fear that the feeling i had would come back..i'm still afraid and i hadn't moved on for now..it's already two months and i still feel something for that person but i know i can do this and move on for good.. ^^,
8 Jun 07
yes, it was really confusing.. i felt very happy everytime he 's around... a simple text from him really makes me happy being with him for a few minutes makes my day complete...but i have this fear... fear of loosing him as a friend..that sometimes made me cry coz i can't tell him how much he mean to me..