Have You Ever Missed Somebody So Much It Hurts???

@Darkwing (21588)
June 10, 2007 6:20pm CST
You know the feeling... it's like the inside of you is missing... probably gone away with them. Have you ever felt that way? I think it's true that when somebody you really care about, even love, is far away, "absence makes the heart grow fonder", especially if they're somewhere you really like, and want to revisit. Why is that? Do we take them for granted when they're near, or is it that this person is your soulmate and half of your soul has gone with them? I only know one thing... it really hurts to be apart from somebody you really care for... especially when you can't keep in constant contact with them. How do you feel when your soulmate goes away... even for a little while?
8 people like this
13 responses
• United States
10 Jun 07
Well, our little while is from February 19,2005-June 8, 2010. Every day, I cry tears for him. I miss him so much that he is all I think about when I wake up in the morning and at night when Im trying to go to sleep. He is the love of my life, and I am his. We have a beautiful 2 year old girl together and plan to have more......but this time apart is killing me. It kills me inside. My heart always feels like its twisting, like I can feel it breaking. And, the only contact we get is letters....It drives me insane.
3 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
11 Jun 07
Awwwwwww... he must be missing you too, and your little girl, as this is the most interesting part of her growing up. I really feel for you. I'm guessing where he is, and that it's difficult to make contact, but be strong for your daughter and build him into her life, even if you have to bite back the tears. She needs to feel she is a part of him. You're nearly half-way there, and I feel a lot of love between you, so keep faith, my friend... all you can do is pour your heart out in your letters. He will appreciate that. Please accept a BIG ((((((HUGGGGG)))))) from me, for both yourself and your daughter, and feel free to lean on me whenever you feel the need. xx
4 people like this
• United States
15 Jun 07
Thank you so so much. That really, truly means a lot to me. Huggers!
@GardenGerty (103935)
• United States
11 Jun 07
One of the difficulties I have is with my dear hubby working a different shift from mine. I get to just mope around waiting for him to be home, then stay up too late, just to be with him. Other than for a couple of deaths in the family the last two years, he will not go anywhere without me. I do not like to admit that my focus is on him, we have been married nine years now. It was very much that way between my first husband and I as well. I like the person that I become because I am with him. Other than those two, the people I miss most are my own kids. I find that my daughter is the better version of myself I wish I was, my son, fortunately, lives in town, but he takes me back to many happier times. Love my family.
@Darkwing (21588)
11 Jun 07
Yes, it must be difficult working opposite shifts because you don't often get to do things together. As for our kids, yes, I think we all miss them, but I see one of mine weekly and the other not so often, but enough to know they're both happy with their families. I lost my grandson to cancer when he was just over seven years old, and that's still a wrench on my heart, but I'm getting through... it's ten years now, and slightly better. Brightest Blessings.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (103935)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I have had about ten close people die in the last ten years, and one or two right before that. It leaves a big hole in your life. That is what happened to my first love, and we were so in tune it was like our minds were joined. God allowed us to meet and marry young because his time was short.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Awwwwww, yes... the loss of that many close people in such a relatively short time, especially your first hubby would leave a great BIG hole in your life. But, I'm glad to see you're happy now, even if you do have to work opposite shifts to your present hubby. He must fill a good part of the hole, although I know it's not quite the same. Brightest Blessings for a happy future life with your family, Gerty. x
2 people like this
• Hong Kong
11 Jun 07
I definitely have to respond to your discussion because now I am experiencing a painful feeling. I am on a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend and it was hard enough. These days he has to work in another city for 3 weeks. We still have regular contact but it seems to me that the distance is farther apart. I notice that I feel really sad these days because I am missing him so much. I don't really want to do anything and sometimes I just stare at those emails he wrote to me just hoping to have a sense that he is closer. And the most interesting thing is we have never met yet and we plan to meet later this year. I wouldn't be able to imagine the parting when I leave, I think it would cause much pain than now.
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
You seem to be very attached to this guy. I agree, online relationships can be just as painful, if not moreso, because at times, all you want to do is look into their eyes and hear them breathe. Thank you for sharing with us, Wonder, and I wish you all the very best for the time you meet your guy and hope that you have a very special future together. Brightest Blessings.
2 people like this
• Hong Kong
13 Jun 07
Thanks for your blessing! *laughs* Yes I do love this guy very much. But it's good at the same time that I have mylot now so I can indulge myself writing here and make time go a little faster maybe! haha. Have a good day!
@Darkwing (21588)
14 Jun 07
Yes, Mylot certainly eats up the time. It won't be long before you two get to meet. All the very best of luck, when you do. :-)
@nejnej (148)
• United States
11 Jun 07
if feels like shards of pining needles are pricking every inch of your heart. you cant hardly breath and sometimes nauseating. the pain lingers and anxiety builds up.heardbeats palpitate in an unrhythm beat.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
What a poetical use of words, Nejnej, and so true. Thank you for sharing this. Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
@nurseg5 (20)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
yes i know the feeling, it really hurts, me and my fiance was million miles away to each other,although we talk almost evryday by net or by phone,i still feel sad and feel alone. especially now that he gone for a conference for 1 week and not able to talk, it really kills me inside. im not sure if he also feel the way i feel now. im having hard times dealing with my emotions.
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
I agree, it's a magical moment when you actually get to speak to each other, but not long after they say goodbye from the chat, you start to miss them even more. That's love, alright! Brightest Blessings and I hope you'll be together soon.
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
Oh yes... in a distant past when I was young and naive. I don't know how others feel but for me it was like tormenting myself. A sense of loss approaching the point of depression. You can't eat or sleep... You constantly wait or hope for the phone to ring... You eagerly check your mailbox for a letter or email... What makes things worse is that the longer you wait, the harder it is bear with the pain. But you know what... the pain you feel is nothing compared to the joy and happiness when that person you missed so much tells you he/she shares the same feeling and pain. And at that moment on, the loss becomes less of a burden and a feeling of hope starts... Because from then on you will look forward for the day you will meet again. Oh what a glorious day that could be.
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Yes, I quite agree that there is nothing to compare with that joy and happiness. Sometimes, the feeling of hope can be dashed I guess, but life is a rollercoaster, and we have to learn, as you're trying to tell us, to take the rough with the smooth and carry on. That certainly will be a glorious day when we meet again, given the other person feels the same way. Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Canada
11 Jun 07
yes that is so true. i have been on tha end of missing people many times. latley it is my mom cause she passed away and i didnt get to say good bye
1 person likes this
@magnel (2263)
• India
11 Jun 07
Yes it hurted me a lot when i just broke off with my first girlfriend... the feeling was very bad...
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Jun 07
oh. sorry to hear about the break up. breaking up with someone you love so much really drives you crazy. you will end up hoping that she's still around and with you. but fact is, she no longer is. all you can do is think of her and end up missing her more and more. but i do hope you'll feel better soon and you'll get back on track, too.. anne
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Magnel. I remember vividly the hurt when I finished with my first boyfriend, and that was many years ago. That first love seems to stay in your heart forever... I don't know why that is, but they do. However, you will meet somebody else, and eventually find the "one" you're supposed to be with. Take heart in that my friend. Brightest Blessings.
@liyan97 (2128)
• Northern Mariana Islands
11 Jun 07
I know the feeling...my partner has been away since october of last year! I have only had three days to spend with him last month when I went on a medical referal to Guam. He is my youngest baboes daddy and we were together for two years....before he decided to leave...I miss him so much, it hurts to even think of him at times! On the other hand, I really don't know what to feel at times.
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
I'm not sure whether your partner is away working, studying or moved away for good, but whichever, it must hurt, especially when you have his baby there to remind you. It was good that you got to spend three days with him last month. It must have helped a little. I hope your hurt lessens a little, and send you my Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
@liyan97 (2128)
• Northern Mariana Islands
13 Jun 07
He says that he left because there is no work here, he sends clothing for our daughter every three months and visits every six months or so. Honestly, I really feel like it is over, but he probably doesn't know how to say ot to me. Nonetheless, I consider myself to be a single partent although it hurts to admitt it! Thank you so much for your words of inspiration, it has found a way to cheer me up, even if only for this moment:D
@deeeky (3667)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
14 Jun 07
It does hurt inside when we are away from someone and I have had that experience in the past. We just have to be strong and put our thoughts into something else and concentrate on other things even though that is hard to do. Even now on mylot I think that most of us are longing for our friends to be here or on a messenger site so that we can keep in touch.
@Darkwing (21588)
15 Jun 07
It's not just on Mylot, Deeeky. For sure, I've made a lot of friends in different internet sites over the past six years, in all corners of the globe. Some of them become very special friends, and some casual, but you get into the habit of expecting them to be online when you are, or sometimes even rely on them being there. Then one day, you'll log on and they're not there... there's no message to tell you where they are or if they're ok and no fast way of contacting them. It is then that you realise how much you've taken them for granted... it hurts... you want to tell them... day after day you log on and they're still not there and you're helpless to know the reason why. I lost contact with a couple of friends, whose lives determine now that they can't spend so much time on the computer. Ok... I know the reason for them not being here, and although I stop and think about them often, I know they're fine and going on with their lives and look forward to the times when they can get on here and catch up with the chat. You feel happy for them that their lives have changed for the better. Then, there are those who just seem to disappear without a word... you don't know why, and you worry. These are the ones who leave a big hole in your heart. They're often the ones you felt closer to... and they're gone! This is the time the pain sets in. Either something bad has happened and you know not what, or they haven't cared enough to set your mind at ease before leaving, which can really hurt. I made two, just casual friends in games rooms, both male, both disabled, both American. The older one lives in New Jersey, the younger lived in New Orleans. I hadn't seen either for a while, not having been in Pogo that often of late, and I went in to pick up my messages and clear the box. There was one message from the older guy about friends, which brought tears to my eyes... then there was one from the younger, telling of how he lost all his properties in the New Orleans hurricane, and had to move south. There was the reason I hadn't seen him for a while. So, I made a point of writing back to him. I could feel his desperation... this really nice guy, who has a fair bit to cope with and I couldn't be there for him. A young guy, trying to make something of himself and within a few hours, he had lost almost everything... but, he still has his life, thankfully, and at 36 years old, can build it up again. Those are the kind of things that make me sad and give me a feeling of helplessness. Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. Take care and keep in touch. :-)
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 07
I feel lost miserable and I go quiet for the time he is away I hate it when I can't talk to him or hear his Voice so I know how you feel and you know where I am Love and Hugs to you xxxx
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Thank you, Gabs... yes, I know where you are, but I'll be ok. You obviously know who I'm talking about, and it seems a long time another ten days, but I guess they'll soon pass. Brightest Blessings my friend and have a great time tomorrow! xx
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Jun 07
why are you feeling this way today darkwing? care to share? as for me, i had been in this long distance relationship for more than a year. and yup. absence makes the heart grow fonder and even crazier! we met already and still, i find my heart missing him so much. i end up looking at our pictures together. reminiscing those times when we are still in each others' arms. cheezy as it maybe for others, there are days when i cry myself to sleep. but glad that i will be with him soon and that's forever. so, the persons i'll be missing from then on again are my parents and siblings... ouch! those will hurt again... anne
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Just absent friends, Maryanne... one in particular, who's only away on holiday, but he's a very close friend, and he's suffering from secondary cancer. I'm always fearful when he goes away that he may never come back... and the tears come. However, he is texting me every two or three days, which makes me feel better because he is obviously enjoying his holiday, and truly deserves it. Then there are close friends who are hundreds or thousands of miles away, whom I would just like to meet and see the smile on their face, the happiness in their eyes and the wind blowing through their hair. I miss these badly too. I, like you, just sit here at times and cry... sob even, because I feel so lonely and lost without them. Brightest Blessings.
@Dan_ul (858)
• Romania
11 Jun 07
Yep... I did miss somebody... it happens:)
@Darkwing (21588)
13 Jun 07
Well, I'm sure it does happen... in fact, I know it does, but you might have elaborated a little with your response. You don't sound the type to miss somebody from that response. lol.