What is he thinking !!

United States
June 11, 2007 12:06pm CST
I have a friend who has decided to allow his fourteen year old daughters to drink. He has allowed them to try alcohol. He has went as far as to tell the girld that they can drink as long as they only do it at home while he is there. I think that this is wrong and is teaching the children a bad habit. Would you allow your children to drink alcohol at age fourteen? Would you allow underage drinking in your home at all?
10 people like this
17 responses
@smacksman (6074)
11 Jun 07
Oh yes. They are going to do it anyway so it is much better to do it with you around. There is a big difference between drinking and getting drunk. I don't approve of the latter! It is important that they know about themselves and drink and how they react to alcahol and the warning signs to look out for when they have had too much.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Whats to say that the child will listen an only drink when the parent is present?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Actually I don't think he is wrong. I do not think he is encouraging his girls to drink. Instead, he is protecting them. He made sure to say that they can only drink in his presence. I suspect that he doesn't want his girls to be cheated when they have to drink outside. When girls are drunk, anything can happen to them. So this father hopes to fortify and protect them against this possibility. If they are trained to be good drinkers, then they won't even be drunk outside. In this way, the father hopes to keep them safe.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jun 07
You have some valid points but what is to say that the girls will only drink when their father is present? Maybe the girls won't see that there is anything wrong with drinking at a friends house because the did it at home. There are all kinds of ramifications that can come back to hurt this family.
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Parenting is one of the hardest subjects to score ace in. You can only hope the Dad knows what he is doing and it really works.
1 person likes this
11 Jun 07
Although the child is a bit young, I can understand where he is coming from. My mother had always told me that if I wanted to drink then I should do it at home. That way she knew where I was and whether or not I was drinking with someone. I had a few drinks when I was young but that doesn't mean that I drink a lot as an adult. At least he knows where his kid is at.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 07
For now he knows where his children are at but how about when they are sixteen or seventeen? I don't believe that these girls are always going to want to hang out with their father.
• United States
11 Jun 07
I think it is better to let them drink at home, compared to trying to hide it. So many teens drink. That is what they do at parties and wherever they can get away with it. If you tell your teens that they can't do it, they will go somewhere where they can. The bad thing about that is them trying to hide it. It would be much worse if something happened to them because they were trying to hide it from their parents. At least at home you know they are safe. My husband and I have been discussing this subject. When I was a teen, my mom forbid drinking. I, in turn, went out and drank and then drove home and tried to cover it up. If she caught me and grounded me, all it did was teach me to do a better job of covering it up. At this age, kids don't see the problem with having a good time. My husband, on the other hand, had the parents that let him drink at home. The rule was that they could drink as long as they stayed at home. As a result, he was never in half the trouble I was.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Jun 07
My son is 13 and on New Year's is when he gets to sample a drink. He got to try Jack Daniels this year. He got a capful mixed with a half a can of coke. He thinks it's gross. All my kids get a half of a shotglass of champagne on New Year's and there is only a sip or two out of it. Sometimes it's good to let them taste it and see that it tastes as bad as we say. I realize I'm the adult, but I get tired of arguing that they won't like it, or it tastes bad. They see us liking it, so they think they will too. Let them try it. Just don't let them try our good-tasting drinks. I give my kids sips of things that I know they won't like. I'm not too worried about them drinking young, they don't even like the smell. I know it's bad, but children learn what they live. We drink here 2 or 3 times a year, they remember from one party to the next, and they remember how nasty it is. I'm hoping they take it with them to their late teens or later.
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Buying the kid her own bottle is wrong. Just wrong!
1 person likes this
@Rickrocks8 (1751)
• United States
12 Jun 07
There is no way that I would ever allow that in my house. I think the guy is nuts, and he is just inviting trouble in my opinion. Next thing you know they will want to have their friends over to drink and he will find himself in court. People choose to ignore the law. They set the drinking age at 21 for a reason. Teens brains are still growing at that age and what will drinking do to them during this development? My boys are 9 & 10 and they ask me all the time why did they do that (speaking about a teenager doing something really dumb) and I tell them well their brains are growing and teens tend to be a bit goofy from it. They insist they will never ever be a goofy teen. LOL And they say Mom if I ever act that way please remind me about my brain! LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 07
thanks have a great day!
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
12 Jun 07
when i was about 14, my mom let me have a drink on special occasions... egg nog at christmas, champagne at weddings, that sort of thing. but that was it. and if we asked we got the riot act read to us -- special occasions was one thing, but just a random glass of something was absolutely a no no. i know someone who let her daughter drink a glass of milk with some tequilla rose in it when she was 14. no reason, jsut because. all the adults in the house were drinking that night and the 14 yr old was supposed to be watching the younger children. the girl will be 16 in august and for the past year is constantly talking about drinking and how much she drank when and how her and her mom drank a bottle of apple pucker together, and how she had 5 shots last night. what's worse is that she posts this stuff as bulletins on myspace!i always felt like what my mom did taught us some manner of responsibility. my sisters and i don't drink excessively, we didn't have a bunch of wild night binges in high school or college (i think we each had 1 and got it out of our systems). and none of us have ever gotten behind the wheel after drinking. we're responsible drinkers. this girl isn't learning any manner of control or responsibility. i actually heard her ask her mother to buy her something at the store because she wanted to be drunk that night -- and her mother complied! i've even heard her mom complain (in an amused manner) that her daughter drank all of her jagermeister and so now she's gotta go buy more. if i thought my child could handle it, i would do something like what my mom did. but i certainly wouldn't give my child a license to drink whenever he wants to "as long as i'm there." that's just asking for trouble.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 07
These are the types of stories that I hear about that worries me. Because I had parents tell me before that they have allowed their children to drink at home as even told them to only drink at home and later the child has went ahead and drank at a friends house. Sometimes they make it home safely and other times they have ended up in accidents. I am not sure that there is any one clear way of handling this kind of situation.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
We should always be the model to younger ones. Since we already know what are the consequence so we should let these teens to do the drinking, smoking and everything that make them unhealthy.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for your response.
• United States
12 Jun 07
That's not right!!! children under 14 is not allowed to drink if their parents let them. It's against the law if he got caught by the police while let his children drinking he will go to jail or get suspended. I hope you can tell him to stop doing that.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Yes, I let him know what my opinion about this was. Thanks.
• Canada
12 Jun 07
This father's maturity level is obviously not where it should be! He is a teenager stuck in an adult body if you ask me. Really very sad for him to have this attitude. What is wrong with parents like him? Why do they insist on robbing their children from the process of growing up in life and making their own decisions and when and how they will experience them. Leave them alone let them grow up at their own speed but yet with boundaries! Let them have the joy of something to look forward to when they get older.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
I truly don't think that he has grown up. I believe that through his children he is reliving his childhood. Thanks
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
11 Jun 07
definitely not... i don't even want my children to drink at all even though they have reached a legal age... let alone at the age of 14... it is simply too young and they can damage their body (especially the liver) when they start to drink at such a young age... i think it is very wrong...
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
I can understand never wanting your child to drink. Thanks
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Jun 07
that's too young to start that habit. the father isn't obviously thinking or maybe, he's just lazy to discipline his daughter. so, the best way to just walk away from his responsibility on such matter is to allow his daughter to drink... ofcourse, to make him look like a good father, he adds lines such as THEY CAN DRINK AS LONG AS IT'S JUST AT HOME AND WHEN HE'S AROUND. he is trying to play safe on this issue. but still, i find the father lazy and irresponsible. anyway, i am 28 and i don't drink at all. i just wonder why teenagers are into so much drinking these days... anne
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for the response Anne.
• United States
11 Jun 07
No way. I know people that are 21 and over who aren't responsible enough to drink :). I would not allow it. I think you need to turn him in.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for the advice. I really need to think about it before I decide what to do.
@azimsay (545)
• India
11 Jun 07
I will never allow to drink alcohal.That is genger for health.One she or he will drink they never stop.They will spen their money.They will get habit.They will not listen.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for the response.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I wouldn't allow it at all. There are so many things that could go wrong. And what if they start bragging to their friends and the friends tell their parents? His kids could end up with a drinking problem before they are even old enough to drink legally. At that age my parents let us try a sip to see what it was like, but we were always told not to drink till we were old enough. I didn't have a real drink till I was 18. But even now that I'm old enough I don't really drink much anyways.
• United States
12 Jun 07
I didn't take my first drink until I was eighteen as well. I couldn't believe it when my friend was telling me this stuff. My oldest son didn't drink until he went to college and my younger son isn't even interested in drinking at all. I would never allow my child to drink.
1 person likes this
@teleios (738)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
i've seen this approach in some parents. the only thing i'm opposed to about this particular situation is that 14 is WAAAY too young! i think the parent should have given the drinking only when he's around rule to his kids when they're at the legal drinking age...:)
@palimole (42)
• United States
12 Jun 07
no because that can throw you in jail
1 person likes this