Do you check up on your spouse?

United States
June 11, 2007 2:45pm CST
My husband and I use the same computer to access the Internet, so it's inevitable that we end up at the same websites. It made me think how easy it would be to check up on him to see which websites he visits. It's as simple as checking the browser history. That is, if I really wanted to do so. And, I don't! But, if you suspected that your spouse was chatting with another woman online, would you check up on him? Would you investigate his online activities to find out who about the other woman? Have you ever done this?
6 people like this
27 responses
@sunshinecup (7881)
11 Jun 07
Either one of us can and know how to and we have a few times. Not because we suspect anything, but because we are nosey, LOL. Now if I thought he was chatting with another women, you bet I would check on it, just as if it were a fellow worker or neighbor. I don't see why if a person is doing right, it would be wrong to do so. Only the guilty have something to hide, IMO.
3 people like this
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
i agree with you that it will be better for the wives to be vigilant. to know what the husband is up to, will be good for the relationship and the family. after all, the husband must not be angry if the wife goes through his files if there is nothing wrong with it. aren't husband and wives supposed to share on everything? they are now one flesh and one body from the moment they were bound together in holy matrimony.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
11 Jun 07
No, I would not check on him. I have not checked up on him on the net. Maybe I should. When he had a cell phone I did. He got caught with stupid petty lies. I stopped trusting, and stopped caring. Now i don't check.
2 people like this
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I think if someone has that must mistrust for their spouse then they should just end the relationship. Why be with someone you don't turst? Frankly I don't care what sites my spouse goes to on our computer nor does it bother me if he chats with females. He has an account on here and on myspace along with his own friends on both. When he is on the computer that is his time and non of my buisness. If a man is going to cheat then he's going to cheat and no amount of stalking or spying on him is going to change that. All that says about the person who sinks to that level is they have no trust for their spouse and their relationship isn't worth being in.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
So you're not the jealous type? That's rare. But, have you considered that proof of infidelity is essential in getting more money in the divorce settlement. So, if a woman was looking for a way out, she could cash in big by snooping on the hubby, assuming he was stupid enough to keep the evidence on the computer. Toodles!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Well I guess I'm glad I'm not a gold digger either. I live in a no fault divorce state also so even if a person cheats that doesn't mean crap when it comes to the divorce. People who are like that deserve what they get. Two wrongs don't make a right and why be that petty and shallow to spy for money. As far as being the jealous type no I'm not I have no reason to be. Frankly my spouse is a grown man if he one day figures he doesn't want to be with me anymore what good does it do to get jealous and worked up? I know my qualities and I know that there will always be someone out there who will love me for them. I'm not about to beg or force someone to be with me who doesn't want to be with me.
1 person likes this
@ateiris (53)
• New Zealand
12 Jun 07
Nop! marriage should be bond with trust and love. My Suggestion is always communicate with your husband, make him feel secure and love and be a mistress to him (Meaning: Think of what mistress can do that you think you can't and with effort do it to your husband).
• United States
12 Jun 07
Clever! But, if he's messing around online, then the real problem lies within him! Maybe the cheating man should get his act together instead of making his spouse jump through hoops to keep him happy.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
12 Jun 07
nope, i would not check up on my spouse. i think that is sad that you would have to go behind someone you calm to love and trust and see if they are doing the right thing. what kind of relationship is that? if i thought he was cheating i will not do it either. the way the law works, what goes around comes around. what you put out there comes back to you. so if he were cheating i would not have to check up on him, i will find out soon enough
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
12 Jun 07
this would not be an issue for me =) I trust him 110% and he is to honest to even betray me online =) he is also not interested in computers at all :-D
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
It's not something that would ever cross my mind. If my wife wants to chat with anyone online it's cool with me. She's had many online friends over the years so it wouldn't bother me because I'm not a jealous kind of person.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
I dont really check on my spouse. Why? Number One, I dont have time to do that. Number Two, I still believe we should respect each other's privacy even if we are mates. I wont like it too if I should find out that he is checking on me so I wont do it to him. I still choose to trust him. Now if the issue is someone saw him with another woman somewhere in a romantic mood, I might have thoughts about checking.
@a_ce_e (1427)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
I don't have a husband yet or a live-in partner, but if in case i suspect my bf is chatting online with another girl, i will simply ask my bf if he is chatting with anyone. I trust my bf and we both working out for our relationship, we make it a point that we are open to each other, make it known to each other who we encounter or people we are dealing with so we keep away ourselves from having jealousy.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Yes I've done this before with my boyfriend I live with, and I would do it again. haha. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that I'm curious. lol.
1 person likes this
@coferbox (298)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I would only check his computer activities if his behavior in other area gave me reason to suspect something was not as it should be.
1 person likes this
@tsnadeer (89)
• India
12 Jun 07
there should me mutal understanding between husand and wife for each and every subjects in their family life, better way to improve love themselves and talk frankly all the matters, try to appreciate for all good jobs which made by partner and ignore inseltings, especailly in this IT world we are not geting much time to understand family backgrounds so the new generation need good moral sympols from their parents.
1 person likes this
• China
12 Jun 07
I've never done that kind of thing before because the relationship between my husband and I is so great. I trust he will never cheat on me. But sometimes just out of curiosity I check his phone text messages. After all, not a saint myself!
1 person likes this
@compumom (738)
• United States
12 Jun 07
No, I don't feel it is necessary to check up on my husband. I do, however, check up on my teenaged son.
1 person likes this
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
12 Jun 07
I once dated a guy for a while and around the third time he was at my home I caught him downloading every file from my hard drive onto a disc.....I couldn't believe what I was seeing!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
YES to all your questions. I got that feeling in the pity of my stomach that something wasn't right (and mind you we don't use same pc. I use the mail pc and my notebook and he uses his notebook) But I do go in his pc and check the history of his surfing. I'll tell him don't give me any reason to feel like something isn't right in this relationship and I wont check up on you. But YES I've done it. And if I get the feeling again I'll do it again.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
YES to all your questions. I got that feeling in the pity of my stomach that something wasn't right (and mind you we don't use same pc. I use the mail pc and my notebook and he uses his notebook) But I do go in his pc and check the history of his surfing. I'll tell him don't give me any reason to feel like something isn't right in this relationship and I wont check up on you. But YES I've done it. And if I get the feeling again I'll do it again.
1 person likes this
@micfac7 (158)
• United States
12 Jun 07
My husband is FAMOUS for doing online chatting. I catch him all the time, yet he still denies it and I can't step up and take action. I bought a spyware (not spyware that we try to get of on our computer) on Ebay and it worked perfectly. I gathered a lot of evidence and still didn't do anything other than confront him and again he denies...even with proof right in front of his eyes. The program I got was called iSnake and it's awesome.....however his computer got old and when he got a new one with Vista, the programs (iSnake and a couple of others) aren't compatible so now it drives me nuts that I don't know what's going on. We have separate computers because I work from home and he clears everything out anyway because he knows I check his computer. So, just in case you didn't know about the programs....they are out there....it's worth the $30. I thought so anyway.
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Me and my guy both use the same computer and I know sometimes he checks what websites I go to because I did have a myspace page awhile ago but he didnt know about it but eventually he found out and we had some issues about that..it wasnt that big of a deal to me so I just deleted my page. So to answer your question I dont really feel the need to check what hes doing on here, I could easily just go to the brownsing history UNLESS he deleted that and when it does get deleted I know he was looking at something he wasnt supposed too LOL! If I did suspect he was chatting wit other females HECK YEA I would be tracking his every move on here and gettin all the info while im cleaning out his bank account at the same time!
1 person likes this
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
im always using the same comp as my bf... n yesh, i do check history... osmetimes, its not checking on him... just tt i have a habit of browsing through my visited web pages... besides... can u cehck whom he chat with just via websites? im not too sure about that.... but with regards to that, i guess for my bf... it must be access to his hotmail and msn account... but i dun do that... i guess its basic and mutual trust... =P
1 person likes this