Hats off to the good dads, but what to do about the bad ones?

i have four kids and their dad is a irresponsible one, i really envy families with a good dad to nurture his family. but i think hearing this kind of stories i feel like there are more bad dads than the good ones. yes it is easy for them to just walk out on their responsibilities so heartless. it is okay to leave a partner behind although it is painful but to leave his kids behind is merciless.

My ex-husband is a lousy day. There's no other way to put it. After putting up with years of abuse, his drinking, not holding down a job, etc., I gave him the boot. This was when we lived in Texas. For the next few weeks, I asked him to come over and see the kids. He said he would - he didn't. Having no money, I sold what I could, packed the kids and our few leftover belongings, and hightailed back to my home state of Illinois - I knew I'd need my family's support. My children were 12, 8 and 3. The next time he saw the 12-yr-old, that kid was 18. He saw the 8-yr-old when she was 17, and the then 3-yr-old when she was 13. He owes $48,000 in support. My 5-yr-old's dad picks her up for visits, and often takes her to his sister's home and drops her off. He goes for 2 weeks without seeing her. He was selling his house and moving and wasn't even going to tell me - I just happened to find out. He allows her to play outside alone (in Chicago), and I have him on videotape leaving her alone in his vehicle while he goes up to a pay window to pay for gas (vehicles are not visible from that pay window). I had to go to court to get him to keep his Rott away from her (the dog munched on her forehead when she was three, and she was having nightmares). My husband has three boys. He pays over $1,000 a month in support and has done so faithfully and gladly for over 12 years. He claws and scratches to be involved in his boys lives, and their mom won't even tell him when the boys have surgery. She tells their youngest "he's not your dad," and "he threatened me..." (not true). It's the clearest case of PAS I've ever seen. He sees his boys as much as he can, never misses a visit, and is often denied when he asks for extra time with the boys. He interacts with his boys during visits - they play games, watch their fav movies, etc. He has a great custody case...but coming up with the $5,000 retainer fee is a whole new story. Now, why is my husband different than the other two men I had in my life? Who knows..but men like my two previous relationships give men like my husband a bad name. Also, there are plenty of deadbeat moms out there, too. My husband's ex is one of them - telling their 8-yr-old son bad things about his dad is being a deadbeat parent..no doubt about it. My state of Illinois has a deadbeat parent website - parents who haven't paid support or owe some...most are men, true, but there are women as well. Perhaps there are less women because custodial men are in better jobs and can afford to support their children alone. I don't know. I don't know if there's one single answer as to why deadbeat parents are the way they are. But tougher laws need to be enacted for protect the children, not just from non-custodial parents who don't pay support, but from custodial parents who mentally and emotionally manipulate their children against the other parent. Where's the "best interest of the child" priority the court's claim to live by????

I don't like dads who can't do things to help even if he isn't with the mother it isn't an excuse! However I don't like it when dads just get the lime light because it's not always fathers and I think generally both sides are as bad as each other. (especially when playing each other off) I'm a young, proud father. I'd do anything for my wife and son, I'd walk over flames to save them and I think sometimes people need to remember to focus on the better things in life. Those who don't make good parents aren't worth mentioning and should be left behind :) just my views.. ~Joey kudos!