Male Tales

Well this isn't a male joke, its just a plain joke but here it goes Theres a priest and a nun on a golf course, the priest lines up on the 1st hole, he gets ready, takes his swing, and wiffs, he yells, dammit i missed! The nun yells father! watch your language! The priest replies, I'm sorry I'm sorry Then the priest lines up for his second shot, he goes to swing, and completely misses again. He then again yells dammit i missed! The nun says father! you are supposed to set an example! The priest says sorry sorry and lines back up for his third shot. He goes to shoot again and completely misses a third time! Again he yells dammit i missed! The nun now getting very mad tells the priest, "If you say another cuss word I'm going to have to call god to punish you!" The priest says sorry again and lines up for his fourth shot. He swings and wiffs again, yelling dammit i missed! The nun now gets on her knees and starts to pray, then a dark cloud comes over the sky, and thunderbolt comes down and hits the nun. Then a deep voice echoes threw the sky saying "Dammit I missed!"

The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie." Santa declined, saying, "No, I can't accept that." "I insist," said the man. "It would make me very happy if you do it." "Well," said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, "If you really don't mind it, I'll do it." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers. Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you leave something behind?" "Nope," replied Santa. "I'm just here to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

Okay I've got one but it's kind of dirty so i'll have to clean it up a bit: A man is in the grocery store one day and he notices a beautiful blonde smiling at him, intrigued he walks over to her and asks if he knows her, she says " ya know I think you're the father of one of my children. In shock the man frantically thinks back to the only time he was unfaithful to his wife and says to the woman, OMG you're that stripper that I banged at my buddies bachelor party a couple years back. She looks at him in disgust and says " I meant you are the father of one of the students in my math class"

you are beautiful and i love you