It is really hard to break-up someone who loves you.

June 17, 2007 3:40am CST
I experienced this a year ago when I broke up with my almost 3-yr boyfriend. On the first year of our relationship, I had this feeling of unwanting him anymore because I felt that he is loving me too much that it seems its hard for me to say no to him or to get angry to him whenever I felt there is really something wrong. I dont want him to see that I am mad at him sometimes because i dont want him to feel bad. Because he is too nice to me. But I was thinking that he is not the man I am really looking for, he is nice but I cannot love him the way he loves me. It took almost 3 yrs for me to say what is really in my mind - To break up with him- ... But it is realy really hard to say goodbye and break the heart of someone who loves you. Until now, my conscience says I'm too rude for me to do that to him.
2 people like this
4 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2327)
• United States
17 Jun 07
One of the most difficult things for men to understand is that you can love a woman too much. By doing and being all the things you think she may want you are actually driving her away. To understand this goes against everything most man feel and understand about women. We are raised by women and taught every day to obey and respect our mothers. If we are good we will be loved and taken care of. So when we are grown and we find someone we love it is automatic to be to her the same as we were with our mothers. It worked with her so why not now. Add too that the fact that men and women do not view the world at all the same and you have to see how confused men get. How can our love, and displaying that love, actually drive her away? Most men would give almost anything if it were returned. What is even more confusing is that women do return that affection but only to men who seem not to care about them. The so called "bad boys". I was married to a women for 37 years that felt just as you do. She liked me and didn't want to hurt me so we just kept on. I found many years later that she had 7 affairs in the early years of our marriage. It is without a doubt the most pain and sense of betrayal I have ever experienced in my life. It took a crises counselor to get me through it. I can tell you now breaking up now you have saved him much worse pain. You are right in how you feel and taking action to leave is the right thing for both of you. His pain will be far less now than believing you love him when you don't. Believe me it's true. You have actually done him a favor by breaking up. I know it is hard for both of you but not nearly as hard as it would be later.
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
Thanks for your message..yeah i guess i have made the best decision for our relationship though i broke his heart. But now....i felt really better..thanks for the msg.
@Rohitha (15)
• India
17 Jun 07
hey your conscience may say anything but you must decide with your mind not heart b'coz heart sometimes can mislead you if you listen to it..!! so listen up babes whoever u're.. if you've broken up with him that's it you must be able 2 stop it rite there... not sit brood or think of what has happened... b'coz none can change what has happened... so forget the past live your present to the fullest!! i hope you'll consider what i said
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
Sometimes yes...because I believe that it is better to love someone who loves you more, rather than love someone whom you love but doesn't same the same feeling with you.
@rangics (1335)
• Philippines
17 Jun 07
It is really hard because you still love that person so much. letting go is just one of the most painful part of falling in love. That's really part of life anyway. :(