HAVE I MADE A MISTAKE? Should I follow my HEART or my MIND?

@sassyces (1604)
Philippines
June 18, 2007 3:06am CST
I've broken up with my bf of almost 10 months a couple of days ago. I found out that the stories behind him having a live-in partner for a couple of years IS true. With this, I confronted him and he confirmed such. I asked him why didn't he told me and he said, "For what, to lose you?" I love him so much and although I hate to let him go, but the fact that I WANT O BE THE ONLY ONE and me being not in that situation is enough to set my feelings aside (that's what I thought, but after breaking up with him, I think I'm wrong). However, the days after the breakup have been miserable. Although I appear very much composed and OK to others, as soon as I'm alone, I just breakdown and cry. Just hearing all those breakup songs makes me feel more terrible. I know I did the right thing in breaking up with him (my sanity tells me so). However, my heart really really aches and I really miss his presence. A friend then told me that YOU CAN NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART OVER YOUR MIND. IT IS ONLY WHEN WE FOLLOW OUR HEART THAT WE CAN TRULY BE HAPPY. With this, I felt that I shouldn't have let him go even if I'm the other woman. They're not married anyway. I really need your advice on moving on. He's my third bf but HE IS MY FIRST LOVE. I want to move on but I think about him all the time..
3 responses
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I believe you did the right thing by breaking up with your boyfriend, especially because you did not know in the beginning that he lives with another woman. Your boyfriend started your relationship based on deception: he deceived you and the woman he lives with, and he attempted to keep you by deception by not telling you until you confronted him. To be the ONE AND ONLY, you must have a monogamous relationship where its only the two of you. Save your heart for someone who is deserving of you. Move on.
@sassyces (1604)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
Thanks for your advice birthlady.
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
That dude is an @$$hole, he doesn't consider women's feelings at all! I guess that he enjoys fooling others, just for his pleasure. But I know how you're feeling right now, as we (my GF and I) also broke-up. It is always hard to consider or measure things up as of this time, but I know that you'll get the hang of it pretty soon. So don't be like him, forget him and move on.
@sassyces (1604)
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
Thanks. I really hope I can move it. I just hope that it won't take too long.
@mike2003 (287)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Hi there... You did the right thing.Don't believe people when they tell you that it's gonna be ok because it's not.10 months of your life with another person is too much and painful to let go.It will be painful but you'll have to go through it. it's part of the healing process and believe me it will make you come up a better person after this... Judging from what he has done, you deserve someone better.Just don't think there are no other person who will love you because there are lots of better people out there. Hope I made you feel better somehow even if just for a short time....
@sassyces (1604)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
THank you soo much.. You really did made me feel BETTER. Your affirmation that I did the right thing and your emphasis that he really wronged me is SUCH a BIG HELP. Thank you so much