unsure happiness or forever normality

June 18, 2007 11:50am CST
hi guys, have kind of a hard predicament here... here goes... i was married, my wife and i are now separated but not yet legally... i have a gf who is also separated, but not yet legally. my gf's parents do not know about us. my ex wife does not know that i am in a relationship yet. my ex wife wants to work things out with me, perhaps try again, and i can live with her, in a normal relationship. however, i love my gf so much more, i wish i could have met her earlier in life. now here's the tricky part... my gf's husband is trying to win her back, and when i ask her about it, she says that right now, she doesnt want to be with him, but with me... however, she also said that she does not know what the future holds... i understand her because her ex husband was her 1st bf, the father of her kids, pretty much everything... now my ex wife is trying to get back into my life, and i know that pretty soon i will have to make a decision. my gf knows about my ex wife and is asking me not to get back with her. now i know i have to make this decision on my own, but advice or opinions would be great. who should i choose? the one i can live with, with assurance that she will be mine forever (my ex wife), or the one i love so much more, but with no assurance of what will happen or if that she'll choose me in the long run (my girlfriend)? this is starting to drive me crazy...
1 response
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
18 Jun 07
wow you are in a hard spot. I guess having been in this situation I would say you need to stop both for a time and get a handle on what it is you want in life. You can not really be sure if you started dating someone before you were divorced and away from that relationship completely also your gf hasn't done that either. You may both love each other but would you trust each other later on that if you had a fight that you or her wouldn't run to someone else for comfort? I am sorry that sounds harsh but again I know what you are dealing with since I have been there. It is like that saying let it go and if it was yours it will come back to you. It would seem your gf is having a hard time deciding too and this may be what you both need to make sure you are perfect for each other.
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
yeah, you do have a good point there my friend... its like both of us are keeping a reserve or fallback person... ill keep this in mind... maybe i should find myself 1st... thanks