I don't trust men :(

United States
June 19, 2007 10:43am CST
I have trust issues. It all goes back to my upbringing. I was taught to be careful with whom I trust, especially with men. I didn't have a male figure growing up. All I kept hearing bout men especially from my mom, was that they are mostly skum. Later on in life I found out on my own that NOT all men are skum. However, these negative ideas about men that were instilled in me still remained...till this day. I have learned to control some of it but I still feel like there is so much I have to work on. I am currently in a relationship and my boyfriend treats me like a queen. He really hasn't given me a reason not to trust him, yet I still worry a lot. I'm a worry-wart and at times I'm paranoid. What can I do to give my boyfriend more trust? I believe that trust is essential in a relationship and I have issues with that. How can I defeat this? I don't want to blow it with him. I want to be able to trust him more becuase I believe he deserves it. Any ideas on how I can learn to build more trust in him?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@pallidyne (858)
• United States
19 Jun 07
Do you trust him more now than you did when you met him? Do you feel like it's getting gradually better? If so, just let it happen. This can be a slow process, and if he is half the man you describe he'll be patient with you. Trust is essential in a relationship, but total trust is not neccessary today, you can work up to it. = ) I really do hope it turns out well for you....
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jun 07
I completely agree with you. Trust does take time, just like love does. thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@axter69 (379)
19 Jun 07
I think what ever the issue is you need to make sure it is not taking over, the last thing you want is to push folk away. and belive me Women are just as bad as men, maybe even worse these days.
• United States
19 Jun 07
I agree with you although I'm not one of them. :)
@mjsg2468 (44)
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
I do not think you have a trust issue with men, or if you had it in the past, I believe you have overcome it the moment you decided to be in a relationship with your current boyfriend. I think your issue is more of being afraid to get hurt which is actually normal for most if not for all of us. I know it is difficult to overcome the fear of getting hurt but try not to be too hard on yourself (and on your boyfriend), enjoy what you have now, a beautiful loving relationship. And most importantly, put God in the center of your relationship. Remember that a loving relationship is a relationship of not just you and your boyfriend but also of God at the center of it.
• United States
19 Jun 07
You're right. Thank you. :)
@ranitam22 (1147)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I too have trust issues at times and do not always let my guard down. Once I am finally able to relax and talk to a guy about anything under the sun I become more comfortable. I also at first listen closely to everything the guy says just to make sure he isn't lying or anything. It just takes time and eventually those feelings of worry and distrust will go away.
• China
14 Aug 07
in fact, i find that these negative ideas about men was't instilled in you ,you are sensitive,especially your boyfriend treats you like a queen,you are happiness,bless you!
• Australia
21 Jun 07
Hmm.... that's a tough one. How do you build more trust? I don't think anyone can tell you how to do that, it's up to you to let someone in. And nothing anyone can really say will change that. It's something that you need to feel. But you are right to think not to trust men, or anyone for that matter. Trust is to be earned, not given.
• Philippines
21 Jun 07
Actually your feelings are understandable. Some people find it hard to trust people because of so many evil doings around. But in fairness, I found so many trustworthy people. Yeah they still exist but finding them was like mining for gold or plunging for pearls.